Help with 10.5MO nap schedule change please

[Jamming]

Hi all, I was directed to this forum by a friend due to my 10.5mo having multiple NW. After reading through posts and finding the 'Average A Times' post I've realised my LOs A time is waaaay too short. I made the assumption that because his first nap was still 1.5hrs, his A time must have been right!

So any help/suggestions with the best way to stretch his A times would be appreciated. Also, how will I know when we've hit the optimum A time?

No set routine, but his days generally follow this pattern

WU 6am
E 7am (BF and breakfast)
A 2.5hrs (see what I mean?!)
S 8.30-10am (1.5hrs)
A 3hrs
E BF and lunch around 12
S 1-1.30 (usually a 30min CN)
A Until BT
E 3.30 BF and 5pm dinner
BT 6-6.30pm (BF to sleep)

He then has at least 3 NWs, around 10-11, 2-3 and 5am. The 5am one is the killer because it's difficult to get him back to sleep, lately he will doze in my arms but wake once put down. I generally need to feed him back to sleep through the night, if I resettle without a feed he's back up 10mins later. I know this is also something I need to work on.

Thank-you

[Kellyjs]

Hi and welcome to BW.

Oh don't worry about the too short A times.. We've all btdt! I'm presuming that's why you've got the wu at 5am though and he's using the first nap to catch up on lost sleep from the NW's. Tbh, your routine looks good, I just think it needs to be tweaked a little to space it out a little better.

You have got a long A to BT, but I'm presuming he's been happy with that so far? Early NW's in the first couple of hours tend to signal OT by BT but it doesn't seem like you have that. This will also mean due to the high A times he's capable of, he'll be in the midst of the. 2-1 transition (link to follow). This doesn't mean he's necessarily ready for one nap, it's just there's not enough hours in the day to have two longer naps anymore.

Ok, so a plan. I would actually jump his first A time straight away by 30mins. He may get a little grumpy as he's used to going down for a nap earlier, but doing something low key will help. I used to carry DD around the house, pointing out things or opt for a change of scenery like going outside if the weather was ok. Keep the nap capped at 1.5hrs. I would then keep the second A time as is at 3hrs as you only want a CN there. Again cap at 30mims as you have been doing. Then BT will end up being 30mins later than usual as you added on that time earlier. You've got space in your day to increase it a little. It's not uncommon for a 13-hr day during transitions.

How does that sound? Worth a shot? Keep me posted as to how it goes and we'll keep at it. It may take a little while to tweak it all, but it is a process and I'm here to hold your hand. And don't worry about to the bf to sleep during NW's at this point. Once the routine is sorted, I'm sure that'll rectify itself. As lomg as you feel he's an independent sleeper by going down for his naps by himself, I really wouldn't worry. If it continues later on, we can make a plan for that also, but one thing at a time 

From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

[Jamming]

Thank-you for your advice Kelly.

Today I tried keeping him up the extra half hour in the morning, but it was all a bit of an odd one since he slept in until 7.15am (heard him wake with a quiet cry at 5am, but he went back to sleep himself) so I think that's thrown him off. He wasn't asleep until 3.5hrs A time at the start of the day. He also had a 2.5hr nap yesterday which is odd for him, so maybe he was catching up on sleep. Will try again tomorrow.

He doesn't fall asleep independently for naps, I hold him until asleep then put him in his cot, but I don't need to feed to sleep for naps. He did self settle until he was unswadddled at 6.5months, since then he's struggled with sleep. I tried for a while to shhh pat which is how I had him learn to self settle initially, but it just kept resulting in him screaming and seemed to make him more upset and angry. After weeks of this we were both stressed about nap times, so I decided to hold him until asleep because it was all too much. I knew I'd need to 'fix' this further down the track, but at the time it was what I felt I needed to do.

Like you said, one step at a time, which is why I hope to sort out an appropriate routine for him, and then tackle getting him to fall asleep in his cot.

[Kellyjs]

It will be much easier once the A times are right hun. Then you can look at gradually decreasing the time you spend holding him before putting him down. Keep me posted ok? X