Need schedule help

[MommaStorms]

Hey hey! DS is almost 7months (next week). We are working on dropping his swaddle. He did good all night last night, well, except for waking to 2 night feeding sessions but I laid him down awake and he SS until 6am... I did every APOP in the book to get that lil guy settled. And yesterday he woke at 6:30... So, I'm feel like we need a schedule adjustment. Ours is a little unconventional (for his age) so I'm hoping someone out there will have an idea...

This has been working well for us for almost 2 months until the past couple days.

WU 7
S 9:30-10:30 -I wake him! If I don't his PM nap is short.
S 2- usually until 4:30/4:45
BT 8

I think I need to be going in the direction of pushing these naps closer together??  But idk which way, I think the EW rule is that the AM nap is too early but I don't want to push  the A so everything is pushed back? Or so I push it and cap it to a shorter nap? 45min? And keep PM nap the same?

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Hello! I would be hesitant to change his routine until you've finished weaning the swaddle cos otherwise you won't know whether your changes aren't working or if he's still adjusting to sleeping without the swaddle.  When did you stop swaddling, and did you go cold turkey or unswaddle one arm, then two?  How long have you been weaning it? And you mentioned you were APOPing to get him back to sleep in the night  - is he usually an independent sleeper?

[MommaStorms]

We've tired a few times to drop the swaddle. The first time was at 4.5 months. We did 1 arm for a couple weeks, he'd fall asleep just fine on his own but kept waking up & couldn't SS. We've tried cold turkey a couple other times. Now we're doing on his tummy he rolls so well, gets up on his knees and rocks, so I feel comfortable w tummy. Two mornings ago, this was the 6:30am waking he was in his room jabbering away, when DH went in he said he was mostly unswaddled and on his tummy  so it needs to be done. I just thought it might be schedule related bc he did SS two times last night so I figured the EW wasn't bc he wasn't swaddled? That was my guess. I should probably mention this go-round of swaddle weening started last night after that 6:30 EW.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

It could be that he just found it harder to resettle in the early hours cos he'd had almost a full nights sleep by then  If you start to wean the swaddle now, within a week or so it'll be done and at least it removes it from the equation. It may well be that he needs a routine tweak too, but it's hard to judge when there's other stuff going on.

Are you currently fully swaddling or have you started with one arm out now?

[MommaStorms]

We've been doing no swaddle at all at night. I'm mostly getting 3 to 5 hour stretches of solid sleep with him. I'm swaddling at naps still and we're having wake ups more often than not... Either way BT is taking a while with lots of wiggles.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Ok, if you've weaned the swaddle at night  (well done!), I'd increase his morning A by 15 minutes and ditch the swaddle for naps at the same time. Then, after a few days when we can be sure he's gotten used to sleeping without the swaddle, we can look at A times again.

Good luck!

[MommaStorms]

😬 thanks! This is the hard part!!

[LovelyLilyandJack]

You'll be fine  - give him a few days to adjust and you'll be there  Think how well you've both done already to wean at night 

[MommaStorms]

Well I'm not even able to get him to sleep well for naps swaddled right now. 
I'm trying to go with the 2-1 transition but I'm not sure how.

9:30-10:30
2-usually 4/4:30 was working and now ... If he does BT is at least 30minutes+ of getting up on his knees, all over his crib. Even when I try to rock him he won't be still. But mostly he's been waking up 45 minutes in and I am APOPing back to sleep. I did twice today until after 1 hr 10 minutes he wouldn't sleep any more.

It kinda seems like his A time before bed needs to be 4.5ish hours, his 2nd A time needs to be longer too... Idk how to fit that into a day! Any links to transition schedules?

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Hi, sorry for the late reply  - I've been away for a few days.  There's lots of info on the 2-1 here From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older) There are some tips on routine options there, but I'd still wean the swaddle for naps first cos of the safety aspect, and cos it will only disrupt everything again when you do wean it.

A time wise, if he needs 4.5hrs A before bed you're probably pretty close to one nap, but you can prolong that by capping one of the naps quite significantly. Have a look at the link and see whether a long am or pm nap would suit you best.

The other thing is it could be developmental. If he's getting up on his knees he's probably not far off crawling and that can cause havoc with sleep. What does his day look like now?.when is WU, BT, and how long  (and what time) are each of his naps?  Are you attempting to wean the swaddle for naps at the moment?

[MommaStorms]

I had tried capping the first nap, well, it was already capped at 1 hour, I tried 45 and it didn't do anything. I have done 30 minutes and I've had good a couple of good PM naps after. And yeah! He did the unthinkable! He rolled swaddled. I didn't think it was possible. It made him very upset so I was able to grab him. Thank goodness!!! The past couple days nap 1 have been car naps while on errands bc 1. They need to be so short and 2. I'm SOOO dreading dropping the swaddle for naps, especially for nap 1 bc I think it's a little bit UT. Yesterday nap 2 he fell asleep nursing, oops. So today... My heart was pounding, I was ready for a healthy bout of shhh/pat. I laid him down & walked out. He fell asleep!!! Yeah!!! Except he woke up like 45 minutes later  oh well, I feel like that falling asleep for that nap without a swaddle was a big enough deal I was happy anyway.

This is the past few days:

WU 8:15 <--- bc nights where getting later and later
S 11-11:40
S 2:30-4 <--- this is when he rolled swaddled
BT 8:45, I don't remember how BT went BUT he SLEPT until 6:30 w a 10:30 DF! He hasn't done this is a LONG time


WU 7:30
S 10-10:30 <--- fell asleep in car on the way to the store
S 2-3 <---- fell asleep nursing
BT 7:40

The next day, today
WU  6:30
S 9:45-10:15 <--- fell asleep in car on the way to story time at the library
S 1:30- 2:15, nursed back to sleep till 3:15
BT(asleep at) 7:55 <--- this was ROUGH I had to bounce him, and he didn't sleep settled for the first 1.5 hrs

**update**
 night sleep was bad, he was crying every 1.5-2 hrs, I finally brought him to bed w me and let him nurse  & we're not co sleepers... Today
WU 8
S 11:05-11:25 <--- car nap, errands
S 2:10-2:55, he fell asleep w a couple minutes of shhh/pat when he woke up I tried to nurse back down, wasn't having it! Screaming and mad, took him in the car  I know he's not going to sleep long, car helps him fall asleep but he doesn't stay asleep


I hope you can set me straight  see what I'm doing wrong?

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Well done for weaning the swaddle!  That's a good little milestone, isn't it? It might take a while for him to get used to it, and if he needs an A time push anyway then it might make things harder to figure out,  but at least you're on the right track 

I would carry on APing a short nap in the morning in the car or something - it's much more flexible for you and I found going through wd and all that for just a short nap a faff to do regularly! One way to do the start of the 2-1 is to do an UT first nap, cap it, and then have a reduced A to the second nap with a full A to bed.  It helps fit everything in. I'd try and keep that last A before bed a bit shorter too - closer to 3hrs if you can.  I know that might be difficult if he's doing short naps without the swaddle - you might have to muddle through with EBTs for a bit. How about aiming for something like this though :

WU: 7
A: 2hr 45
S: 9.45 - 10.25 (40 minutes,  capped)
A: 3hrs ish - may need to experiment with this one
S: 1.30 - 3 or 3.30 eventually, hopefully  (uncapped)
A: Up to 4 hrs, but ideally 3.5hrs.
BT: 7, unless he naps badly, in which case try 6.30 / 6.45.

What do you think? I know you said he needs a longer A to bed, but hopefully with a shorter morning nap he'll build up more tiredness in the day and go for a shorter last A. Otherwise I think the long days might be making him OT by bedtime