45 min nap hell!

[lauradj]

As a disclaimer, my DS2 has reflux but I genuinely believe this is a sleep issue because I hit a similar phase with DS1.  The difference is I was only dealing with one kid!

We are stuck in the 45 minute nap trap but not at the same time every day.  Some days, the 45 nap is in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon, and sometimes at mid-day.  On really fun days, they last all day!  I can't help but wonder if the combination of day care runs and doctors appointments aren't somewhat responsible.  It was so much easier to identify the issue with just one baby!
M,W,F DS1 goes to day care.  I try to time it so that we're leaving five minutes before DS2 is due for his first nap and then I go for a walk to get at least a 1.5hr nap (I wear him).  Sometimes this is successful but other times DS just wakes at the 45 minute mark and looks around.  I discovered this the other day when I check on him at the hour mark and lo and behold, there were his little peepers looking up at me. DOH!
On days like today, when DS1 is home, I have to plan activities and get us out of the house, otherwise I wind up with a crazy toddler and that's no fun for anyone!  This is how today went:

WU: 7:30
E: 8:00 (I fed him when he woke at 6am but I count that as a NW because I want him sleeping until 7.  He obliges)
S: 8:45 (earlier than I'd like but he was starting to do his tired cry)
WU: 9:30
E: 10am
A: Gymnastics with DS2
S: HA!  As if! At best he napped for 15 minutes on the car ride there
E: 12:30pm
S: 1:00pm
WU: 2:30 (however he was fussing at 1:55pm and I spent half an hour trying to resettle him)
E: 3:30pm
S: 4:15

That takes us to now.  I'm hoping he sleeps until 5:30pm so he's not a complete basket case as I try to negotiate bath/bed sans DH, as he has to work.  He'll go to bed just before 7pm.

As his brother before him, he HATES Shh-Pat so I am trying Shhh-Rub which occasionally works.  I do give him a soother sometimes  and that occasionally works but only until it falls out and then he loses the plot! I'm aiming for 1 hr and 20 mins of A time.  Eyes please!!

[deb]

Hmm, was going to try to find you my "Josie and her 45-minute naps" post but the boards have been re-arranged. Mods, is it around anywhere? I don't see it on the Sleep FAQ's. At 15K+ views at last look, I know it was popular!

[lauradj]

Please oh please find and attach!!!

[deb]

I remember most of it - it was partly adjusting her A times gradually longer and partly being in there right at the 45-minute mark to re-plug her soother so she'd resettle before she realized it was out. Treating the reflux helped too - this all happened around the same time, about 2-1/2 to 3 months.

One factor was that she was waking around 4-5AM for a feed, and then not fully re-settling back to deep sleep, so when she woke for the day she was already tired and could only handle a short A time, which set her up for short naps all day. We fixed that with a dream feed.

Will try to remember the rest - that post came as the result of a consult with Tracy that was my very first Mother's Day present - but that was the really important stuff.

[Kellyjs]

Here you go deb... I had to google search it though, I'll ask someone to make it a sticky in the FAQ x
How Tracy Helped Josie and her Family Get Past 45-Min. Naps!

[deb]

Thanks! Hope something in there is helpful.

[lauradj]

Thank you so much Deb and thank you Kelly for finding the link!  I'll have a read and hopefully we can sort this out. 

[lauradj]

Ok, I think I can work on those points.  It's certainly easier to get a good wind down with DS1 is in day care, otherwise he blasts in and out of the room wondering if DS2 is napping yet 
I think the point that might be difficult for me to address is the extra feeds.  If I feed DS before he's hungry, he throws it all back up.  Whereas if I wait for the 3 hrs to pass, he's usually good to go.  HOWEVER!  We just returned from the doctor and she suggested we up his meds, so maybe that will be part of the solution.  I do the dream feed, a bottle of half formula and half breast milk (to up the calories).  At the moment he's doing exactly what Josie did, wakes around 3 or 4, has a feed and wakes in a snit around 6am.  Fingers crossed these suggestions work for us!

[lauradj]

Ok, I was right, the extra feeds were not a good idea.  However, if I go in as soon as I hear him starting to fuss, at either the 35 or 45 minutes mark, I can generally head him off with the pacifier and some loving head rubs.  I also quietly tell him, "Go back to sleep, it's not time to wake up, you need more rest.  I love you." and then I leave.  So far it's worked.  He's also starting to sleep until 6:30-7am which is wonderful, so I wonder if he ripped through a growth spurt or something while going through the short nap period.  Thank you for all the help, that was a great link!

[deb]

YAY! Baby steps.

[lauradj]

Blast!  It's no longer working!  DS2 is back to his old routine of the pacifier falling out and then he wakes up    Also, he is desperately trying to get his hands out of his swaddle and into his mouth but their not yet coordinated enough to actually sooth so he ends up frustrated and ed off with his hands flapping around the top of his swaddle.  Even if I manage to get the pacifier to stay in, inevitably his little hands yank/push/swat it out of his mouth.  I know it sounds comical but after three days, it is not!
Any solutions? 
I should mention he passes out the second the pacifier is in his mouth, but it won't stay!

[deb]

Hmmm.... two thoughts:: is his A time needing extending? and is it possible he's got a developmental leap cooking? My kids' sleep always went to pieces right before some new skill emerged, and then once they'd done it and practices it, back to "normal."

How long till 3 months? Growth spurt will also muck things up for a bit.

[lauradj]

Hmmm, I have just brought him up to 1.5 hrs of A time.  Maybe that will help if I stick with it?  He's always hovering right on the edge of melt down when I put him to bed though... He'll be three months in a week and a half, maybe he's just sliding into the growth spurt a smidge early.  So many possibilities but no solution in sight!  I guess I'll just have to ride this one out

[deb]

Yeah, maybe just follow his cues as best you can for a bit and see what happens after the growth spurt.