Early morning waking confusing awake time!

[ecwinters]

Hi
My 12 week old baby boy has been sleeping for longer stretches at night since he was about 8 weeks old.  However, now he is only waking once (or not at all) in the night this is resulting him being awake very early in the morning.

He will typically go to sleep about 7:30pm although this can vary slightly (6:45pm-7:45pm) as his daytime naps are all over the place (he struggles to nap longer than 45 mins unless in a sling) so it's pretty hard to keep to strict timings.  Then, he will sleep until about 5/5:30am when I will hear him talking to himself and wriggling around.  He is very good and I can ignore him and go back to sleep.  He will doze on and off.  He rarely asks for food at this time.  So this morning, I went back to sleep and when I woke up about 6:15am he was quiet.  I crept out to have a shower and when I returned 10 minutes later he was awake so I started his day then. 

However, this is confusing his first awake time as I don't think he is sleeping properly from about 5am.  Should I calculate it from the time I get him up?  His first nap is now getting hard work to judge as he doesn't give very good tired cues and can go from happy to hysterical in 1 minute flat!

I have tried feeding him at 5/5:30 but despite trying to treat it as a night feed he is clearly thinking it's morning and won't go straight back to sleep!  Even if he's woken up for a earlier night feed (i.e. at 3am) he will still wake up at this time so I'm guessing he isn't really hungry, just used to waking up around then.

Should I keep leaving him to try and resettle himself or is this messing around with his awake time too much?  How long should I leave him for.  6am is the earliest I like starting his day but then we end up with 5 naps in the day to reach bedtime at his normal time.  I had thought about trying to put him down early i.e. 6am if I get him up then but am worried this will push his morning waking even earlier!

Any advice would be much appreciated.  Thanks.

[newkidontheblock]

Hello and welcome. Could you post your routine, please?
You mention that he doesn't do more than a 45 minute nap in the sling -- are all naps in the sling? We also had feeds at 3 & 5 at this time but that stopped when I started with a fixed WU time. Honestly, at that age, I was very firm about BT and WU time. This really helped to set DD's body clock. Even if she WU earlier,  I would leave her to it chatting/playing etc and I wouldn't go in until 7 unless she was crying out for me.  And I counted her A from 7 always, so first nap was pretty much set. I would then pull later naps forward if the first nap was too short. 

[ecwinters]

Hi!  Thanks for replying.  No, the sling is actually where he used to reliably do longer than 45 minutes so I used it to give him at least one decent sleep per day.  However, this is now not working so well as he's really getting too large (he's a big baby and very long!) to sleep in there comfortably for very long.  He will only nap for a short while in the car, so that's no good and hates the buggy because he has to lie flat and this makes his reflux (see below) worse! I really need to sort out his napping at home as I think the days of using the sling are numbered!  Obviously I'd love him to nap when I'm out but am trying to work on one thing at a time.  I honestly can't see him napping in a buggy in a crowded restaurant as my friends babies seem to!

He's on infant Gaviscon for silent reflux.  However, I am wondering about the dosage as I can hear him gurgling away as he sleeps.  He's just had a growth spurt and since then the reflux has been worse.  However, the Gaviscon gives him constipation so I would prefer to try and manage the reflux in other ways first.  I try and minimise crying as this makes his reflux worse too!  He's probably a touchy baby, but if his sleep is OK then is very happy and calm for most of the day. 

At night he generally wakes once still although sometimes will sleep through.  If he does wake up it can be any time really but normally around 2-3 am.  He sleeps in a sleepyhead at the moment which I have on a slant with a wedge cushion.  I put him down awake and will either just sit by him until he falls asleep or will put my hand on him to reassure him if he's crying/fussing.  He can definitely self settle as my husband is quite brave and will just put him down, check he's calm and drowsy and leave the room!  He would never leave him to cry though but he's never had to go back in.  I'm not so brave and will normally stay until he's asleep.  When he cries a lot at nap time I think he is OT but I'm not sure.  Sometimes he will cry hysterically for a few minutes so I will have to pick him up to calm him down, then put him back down again, and he will normally settle. Patting, shh, white noise and rocking are too stimulating for him and he prefers not to be held unless he needs comfort.

I like the idea of keeping set bedtimes and getting up times as I am wondering if he'd nap better if the naps were at the same time each day, although this is very hard to do at the moment. I have been playing around with his awake time but it's hard to draw any conclusions as it's a bit erratic.

I've posted two days so you can see how random it can be!  Thanks so much.

Awake - 7:30
Eat - 7:45
Activity - 8:15
Sleep - 9:05 - 9:45 (cried hysterically for 3 minutes before dropping off for this sleep - OT?)

Awake - 9:45
Activity - 9:50
Eat - 10:25
Sleep - 11:05 - 12:10 (tried a shorter awake time because of the poor first nap and did get a slightly longer sleep)

Awake - 12:10
Eat - 12:20
Activity - 12:50
Sleep - 13:30 - 14:10 (usual short nap)

Awake - 14:10
Activity - 14:15
Eat - 14:45
Sleep - 15:30 - 16:15 (usual short nap)

Awake - 16:15
Eat - 16:20
Activity - 16:45
Sleep - refused to nap! Was not crying or miserable just fussy. Tried to put him down at  17:20 as was giving some tired signs and didn't want him getting OT.

Eat - 18:00
Bath time
Eat - 19:00
Sleep - 19:45 - 7:00. Cried in his sleep at 23:00 and woke up, so I gave him a quick feed and he was asleep again 20 mins later. Was definitely awake at 4:30 but seemed to have resettled by 5:00.

Awake - 7:00 (estimate -could have been slightly later but was definitely awake at 7:10)
Eat - 7:30
Activity - 8:00
Sleep - 8:30-10:00 (was this perhaps because of a shorter A time? It could have been as short as 1 hour 20 mins).

Awake - 10:00
Eat - 10:15
Activity - 10:45
Sleep - 11:30 - 12:15 (normal 45 mins)

Awake - 12:15
Eat - 12:30
Activity - 13:00
Sleep - 13:45 - 14:30 (normal 45 mins)

Awake - 14:30
Activity
Eat - 15:15
Sleep - 16:05-17:00 (slightly longer but not sure why!)

Awake - 17:00
Eat - 17:15
Bath time
Eat - 18:00
Sleep - 18:50

[newkidontheblock]

He's on infant Gaviscon for silent reflux.  However, I am wondering about the dosage as I can hear him gurgling away as he sleeps.  He's just had a growth spurt and since then the reflux has been worse. 

You could always ask on our Colic & Reflux board about this

I put him down awake and will either just sit by him until he falls asleep or will put my hand on him to reassure him if he's crying/fussing.  He can definitely self settle as my husband is quite brave and will just put him down, check he's calm and drowsy and leave the room!  He would never leave him to cry though but he's never had to go back in.  I'm not so brave and will normally stay until he's asleep. 

It would be great if you could work towards leaving the room. This would be beneficial to you as he gets older because you sitting here/ keeping a hand on him, it might also become a prop. If he is fussing/crying, then definitely soothe him with some soft words & a gentle touch but otherwise it is best to put down and leave

I like the idea of keeping set bedtimes and getting up times as I am wondering if he'd nap better if the naps were at the same time each day,

WU & nap 1 can definitely be set. However, you might need to tweak later nap times depending on the length of the previous nap. General rule is to reduce by 15-20 minutes after a short nap.

Your days seem pretty normal for the first few months. Sleep is all over the place as usual.  You don't do a dream feed, do you? Definitely something to consider. Eris stopped waking for her 3 am feed once we started the DF and of course a fixed WU time dealt with the other