New to EASY

[Stardust84]

Hi,
I hope that someone can help me. Due to an early virus,  slow weight gain and reflux my husband and I have been accidental parenting our 4 month old since birth. We decided last week that something had to change. This week we implemented the EASY method and have been using pdpu (the reflux  doesn't seem to be an issue) with some success. It is day three though and it is still taking up to 45 min at night and a minimum of 15 min for naps. At. This point I have a few questions

1. My son is use to feeding on demand because I was/am so concerned with the slow weight gain and three hours is a stretch for him. Is it okay to work up to 3 hours or should I be making him wait?

2. He is use to napping on us and could nap for up to 2 hours but now we only get 40 min naps three times a day. Should we be happy wiith this or be using pdpu to extend them? Should we just work on the self soothing first? Is it true that 40 min naps are normal at this age?

3. We are trying to put him down for a fourth nap but we have not been successful. We did 40 min pdpu, 10 min break, 30 min pdpu but he just cried the whole time until his next feeding time. He was showing sleepy signs so I don't think he was under tired ( plus he only had the three 40 min naps previously). He was exhausted after that but we waited 1.5 hours to put him down to keep his bedtime schedule and make sure he had his medicine. What should we do to get the nap in and prevent the exhaustion? He isn't ready for a 4 hour cycle based on his 1.5 hour E/A times prior to showing sleepy signs.

Thank you so much for any help you can give

Jacqueline

[becj86]

Hi Jacqueline, welcome to BW forum

First off, PUPD is a method of last resort, only to be used when you've tried shush/pat consistently for at least 2 weeks with no improvement. It should almost never be used when LO has reflux. It should also not be used if you don't have a solid routine for LO. Its also probably not the best if you're worried about slow weight gain as PUPD can take a lot of energy for LO.

40 min naps can be developmental at this age, but they can also be related to too short an A time - LO is undertired which would be my bet since he's 4 months old with 1.5hr A time (a very common scenario with the "4 month regression").

So, can you please post your EASY - what you're aiming for and how your last few days have actually gone with E and S times so we can see how its going and pick out any patterns. I see your concern re: 3hr feeds and suspect you're working on 3hr EASY with 1.5hr A times which is not suitable for a 4 month old baby.

Just a few other questions:
How is your baby fed? Breastmilk/formula / from breast/bottle
Is the reflux controlled? If so, how?

[Stardust84]

Thank you for your quick reply.

As we have been doing pdpu for 4 days and have seen progress I don't think we want to go back to shh/pat. We do that as much as possible to minimize the pick ups. Also, it doesn't see that it affects his reflux. The only time he seems to spit up a lot is after his 4 am feeding whichhe goes right down after. I think he is falling asleep after night feedings but at this point I am okay with the feedigs and him falling to sleep after asI know he still needs the calories. He isn't waking up startled after them at all. With the move to EASY he has slowly been decreasing the length between night wakings and now it is every three hours as well (I am also okay with this for now). Could I implement EAEASY in order to try to get him more daytime calories though?

I will definitely try to implement a 4 hour EASY but I don't think I can without adding in extra feedings right now.

The EASY we got yesterday was

E 1:30 am
S 2:00 am
E 4:40 am
S 5:10 am
A 6:00 am
   6:35 am - Zantac for reflux
E 7:20 am
A 7:30 am
S 8:10 am  - 20 min to settle
E 9:15 am
A 9:50 am
S 10:55 am - 40 min to settle
E 12:20 pm
A 12:40 pm
S 1:40 pm - 15 min to settle
E 2:50 pm
A 3:10 pm
S 4:30 pm - did not settle with after 40 min pdpu, 10 min break and 30 min pdpu
                   (my husband did first 40 and I did the last 30 min)
E 5:50 pm
A 6:10 pm
   6:30 pm - Zantac for reflux
E 7:00 pm
   7:15 pm - bedtime routine of diaper change, lotion, PJs, book and song
S 7:30 pm - 12 minutes to settle (by my husband)
   8:35 pm - wake to burp and settled in 1 min
E 10:50 pm
S 11: 10 pm - went right to sleep
E 1:20 am
S 1:40 am - went right to sleep
E 4:00 am
S 4:20 am - went right to sleep
W 5:10 am - babbled in his crib
E 5:35 am - hungry since he threw up some of his earlier feed

The previous three nights he has only woken up twice to feed which is why I suspect he is not getting enough calories during the day.

He is EBF from the breast. We have tried giving him more (most doctors think that is weight issue is due to underfeeding except I think my pedi is finally realizing this isn't the case) and he is just little because he is developing as would be expected) but he normally just throws whatever extra I give him up.

The reflux is somewhat controlled (spitting up isn't uncomfortable) by Zantac twice a day. I think it actually bothers us more than him because we are worried.

We are going to see a GI doctor today to see if they have any insight into his slow weight gain and reflux. We have seem pretty much every other doctor possible (biochemical physician, surgeon for possible pyloric stenosis) to determine the cause.

Thank you,
Jacqueline

[*Liz*]

My refluxing 8 month old still doesn't consistently manage to last between feeds and I feed on demand. You certainly should continue that if weight gain is an issue.

What are you using PUPD to do?? Is it a prop wean? I have held my refluxer for many sleeps, and slowly weaned as he has got older. The reflux often stops a good routine or sleep anyway, so really you can go slow and get the gradual improvement with maturity anyway iyswim?? My DS would simply puke with PUPD though.

[Stardust84]

I think continuing to feed somewhat on demand is what I am most comfortable with at this point but will try to have somewhat of a schedule. I know the point is to not associate E with S but this isn't my biggest concern at this point.

We are trying to wean him from either being held to sleep (during the day for naps by both my husband and myself and in the evening by my husband before his first night feeding) and cosleeping with me for the rest of the night. My husband has not slept in our bed since our son came home and I wake up each morning with extreme back pain from not moving when cosleeping. I couldn't handle it much longer I was so sore.

He doesn't puke from the pdpu but I do try to do shh/pat unless he gets really worked up.

[*Liz*]

How are you getting on??

My DH still sleeps in the spare room most of the time  , although my DS mainly sleeps in his co-sleeper now.