3 week old take an hour plus to go down for nap & bed! Help!

[vthatcher]

Hi! New to the board although technically I was here 5 years ago with my son...ha! So my daughter is 3 weeks old and almost since the first week has taken forever to get down for a nap or bed unless she ends up nursing to sleep on accident.  I try to catch her on her first or second yawn and slight fussing and immediately take her to the room and pull curtains to darken room as much as possible. I then swaddle her and sing but often as soon as I lay her down to swaddle she starts crying hysterically.  I then shush and bounce and rock until her eyes are almost closed or close then I try to put her down.  She will lay there quietly looking asleep for a minute or so or sometimes even 10-15 minutes then start screaming again. We usually then go in and pick her up and she immediately looks like she's fallen asleep so we put her back down and the cycle starts again.  This goes on for an hour or more until finally I often give in and nurse her a bit and then she will sometimes fall fully asleep but sometimes will still cry afterwards even if I'm holding her.  We are at our wits end with this routine! Am I catching her too late for her sleep window? Nursing only takes about 15-20 minutes (she is a gulper) so her activity time other then feeding is usually about 15-20 minutes before she starts fussing.
Oh she does seem a bit refluxy and is sleeping in a rock n play for the incline...she tends to cough and sputter as well.
Help!

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Hi, welcome back to the forums    I don't have any experience of using BW at such a young age I'm afraid but when I started at around 8 weeks I used to just aim for one nap a day in the cot,  and I had to sshh pat all the way through it, pretty much, so what you're describing sounds quite typical of a 3 week old to me   Babies have an A time of around 1hr at this age (Average A times- BOOKMARK ME! ) you could try aiming to have her asleep by then for one nap  I always found mine went down best for the first one of the day. I'd AP the rest and enjoy the cuddles to be honest

The other thing I'd do is keep an eye on the potential reflux. I don't know much about it but if she is refluxy you will probably find it very difficult to establish a routine, even if you're doing everything "right". I don't know at what age Dr's would diagnose reflux, but you can probably start trying to figure it out yourself and gathering evidence to take to your Dr. The following link may help:  Reflux 101 - General reflux information

Finally, getting to know your baby is probably the first step in establishing independent sleep and a routine. Does she like more or less A time than average? Does she like a long wind down for naps / bedtime or none at all? Does she like sshh / pat, or just the sshh? While you're enjoying your newborn cuddles, you can start getting today know her, and when you're both ready for more concerted sleep efforts, you'll already know a bit about what she likes and what works for her.   This links may help if you haven't already seen them:

The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"
The Five Types - Everyday Moments
Recognising a Baby's Cries

[vthatcher]

Thank you so much for your reply! After reading up in the sleep section here I realized that we were doing things all wrong...I wasn't doing the 4s wind down and was trying to rock and bounce her to sleep but not all the way asleep so she'd wake herself up when we lay her down.  Then I started doing shhh pat but forgot about the sitting part of the 4s routine. So I'm slowly getting this thing figured out agin but man oh man am I grateful for this forum! Had a crazy short nap extra nursing day today but she is 4 weeks tomorrow so maybe a growth spurt? Hoping for a more normal day tomorrow!

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Yeah, there are loads of growth spurts in those early weeks Exciting to see the changes afterwards though

Glad you're enjoying the forum - I love it too!