Author Topic: Schedule Help for 3mo please!  (Read 2040 times)

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Offline Crispysage

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Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« on: June 27, 2016, 19:55:21 pm »
I have two under 2 (thankfully both Angels  :D) DS1 (22mo) is on a great schedule. #2 (3mo) got on a schedule a bit late, but is taking to the idea well, Im just having some trouble getting the times right. He is 13lb+, ebf, born 36 weeks (so technically, not yet 3 mo really.).

Main things I need advice on are:

in working towards letting him lead the night feeds to 4hourly, I let him demand bf (I never do less than 3 hour gaps at night, he occasionally does 4/5 hour gaps.) so that's my main problem is the mornings can start off different times. and risk ESA and falling asleep on the boob. Sometimes I have to do a 2.5 hour gap during the day to get back on a EAS -

2. bed time routine usually ends up in falling asleep on the boob because his awake time is just that long. (See sample routines below.) I usually don't get to 11pm for df because he goes to sleep at 6:30 (Same time as DS1 who is with DH for bath and bed after dinner) - I want to bf DS2, dinner DS1 (hand over to DH) then bath DS2 (so that the baby doesn't use dirty toddler water -  then he is tired and falls asleep drinking at the bed time feed. I don’t have time to get him to cat nap during this awake time (feeding and bathing everyone.)

3. He is struggling to join 45min day time naps so we are working on teaching him that... (I think he was UT so i make sure he has a first A time of 2 hours, then the rest of the day work on 1/5hours A time at most, Eating every 3 hours, trying hard to EAS. He is good at falling asleep by himself when given the chance. He often has one sleep of the day in a carrier or stroller because of other LO's needs.

He does have a medical issue which makes nights difficult (Anal stretching )

The schedule changes times every day  :-\ but it's E every 3 hours during the day until tank up time in the early evening, then a little erratic nights as I let him take over with 3hr+ demand feeding. One problem is he will often be ready to drink at 7am but only want to wake at 8am. that puts us on a ESA :( It's hard to make him wake up at 7am because I REALLY want to sleep then too after a long night of him straining to fart (the medical problem) I'm up and down with the paci, he doesn't need ssh-pat, just head stroking and my close breathing and regular paci replacement, but is unhappy and straining for hours I have him swaddled and with a weighted blanket in a cot next to my bed. (Recently moved out of the bed.)

Sample when not messed up:

E -5:30am
Wake up 8am (13 or 13.5 hours sleep with waking up for short periods.)
A
E -8:30am
A
S -10- 11:30am
E - 11:30am
A
S - 1:00 -2:30pm
E - 2:30
S - 4-5 catnap in carrier/pram
E - 5:30 pm
A - bath
E - 6:15/6:30
S - 6:30 usually on the boob because too tired… (often he has not had the fill 17+ hours described above - sometimes a nap will only be 45 mins, but he usually gets at least 16 hours p/day.)

Then can go many different ways:
my ideal at this point is:
E - 10:00pm
E - 2:00am
E - 5:30am

but it can be

E - 10:00pm
E - 1:00am
E - 4:00am
E - 7:00am
Wake up at 8am!
then I’ll
E - 9:30 (falls asleep drinking)
S 9:30 -10:15
A
E -12 (falls asleep drinking)
and so on


I have noticed that he generally demand feeds every 3 hours at night but seems quite happy to do 4 hours during the day given the chance. (I always offer breast at 3 hours daytimes -unless I can't- because I want him to get his food during the day so we have the best chance of him stretching himself to 4 hours or more at night.) It would be nice though to have a set schedule every day & night so that I don't spend so much time figuring out the days plan and counting the hours etc. At the moment I enter projected sleeps and feeds into iCal every morning so that I can keep a handle on the day - because every day is different depending on what time he drank/woke up.

Any suggested shedules/tips thoughts are welcomed! I guess I will soon need to move him to a 4 hours EASY anyway. But that’s not todays challenge! Bless all you luvlies. I hope this long ramble is clear enough to advise on!

XXX  Karla



Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2016, 13:17:42 pm »
Hi!

Sorry your post has been missed until now. I'll try to answer your questions.

1) What you describe sounds completely normal for a BF baby- some need to feed more often than 3hrly at this age. Feeding on demand is what is advised now. If you need to do a shorter gap because of the way naps fall, that's fine too. You say later your DS can sometimes go 4hrs between feeds? That is quite a long stretch at this age. My DD would sometimes do that at this age but would then be up more often feeding in the night

2) I found it hard to fit the CN in with my 2nd too. What worked for us was putting DD in the sling late afternoon - I had hands free to cook a meal for DS and she would have a CN to help her get to BT. Is that an option for you? That might mean he doesn't fall asleep on the BT feed. And earlier DF with earlier BT is fine too.

3) lots of babies find it hard to join sleep cycles at this age. Wake to sleep can help - the option of going in before wake up time and just holding baby through the transition. How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
2 hrs would be a very long A time for his age, I would expect 1hr20-30 at the most but some do longer A times earlier, does that get you a longer first nap?

It's normal to have different times each day, especially at such a young age. EASY is a routine not a schedule, it's about having s predictable order for things not set times...which means it's not necessary to wake at 7pm if your LO isn't ready then. Start the day at 8 if that's what he needs or just when he wakes as that gives him a good long refreshing night sleep.

I yearned for a predictable day too, but they change so much at this age variability is expected and flexibility is needed. It sounds like you're doing great but if you want to records & post a few days of what actually happens (exact times for feeds, sleeps etc) I can have a look.

PS- do you also have a post in naps? I'm confused as you seem to be describing a different baby there (5wks old, born late rather than early?)




"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline Crispysage

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2016, 19:08:19 pm »
Hi Scottish mommy! Thanks SO MUCH for your reply :) You'll be pleased to know that DS #2 is named Angus  ;)
I guess that the other post in naps was in 2014 for DS1? All your advice is very sound and it's so warming to read from across the world, here in Cape Town. Lo has now learned pretty much to join his cycles during the day, and I am moving slowly but surely towards a more regular schedule - being flexible as he demands. He is now 2 weeks off 4 months and he is very happily on a 4 hr during the day and night. I would push for the 3 hrs during the day hoping for longer stretches at night but he's just not hungry enough - 4 hours seems to work well for him with the odd exception, (then I demand feed) though it has only been a couple of days straight now of 4 hr easy. (And yes the CT in the carrier has been working well while DS1 rides his bike we walk before dinner.) Questions now are: is waking at night every 4 hours (according to Tracy's ideology) habitual waking or hunger waking? She says erratic waking is hunger and "to the clock waking" is habit. Angus wakes to eat every 4 hours regardless of what time it was before he went to sleep at night. He can be stretched by paci in the early hours of the morning ... but I don't want to not feed him if he needs it. (difficult to know the difference) He is gaining weight really well and a very happy chap all round despite the fact that he vomits A LOT of many of his feeds. I mean A LOT. he's not medicated as it doesn't seem to bother him. He now seems totally cool with an awake time of 2 hours. I generally follow his lead but try push him to do 2 hrs for this first awake time and then allow him somewhere between 1 hr15 - 2hrs the rest of the day. I try put him down at 1.5 all else being equal.

I tried to write a schedule but they are all over the place - do you think it's a bad idea to try and consolidate a longer nap while DS1 naps? So to have shorter naps and then one long one - it worked SO WELL today when all four of us napped (Sunday) DH and DS1 1-3 me and Angus 12:30 - 2:30. I would wake him after 2 hours (unless I was asleep at the time :D

With the schedule being so flexible he does sometimes have an earlier BT and DF (although I wouldn't call it a DF as he always calls me to it...) Still, DF is between 10/11 as BT is between 6/7.

Hugs, and thanks again!

Karla



Offline Crispysage

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2016, 19:10:59 pm »
Oh, and the post in Naps is for DS1 now? different problems :P



Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2016, 19:03:34 pm »
Hello again!

Good strong Scottish name there  ;)  Sounds like things are going really well now & that he's pretty much moved himself to a 4hr EASY.

Re night feeds- It is still normal to need NFs at this age. My DD was on a 3hr schedule round the clock at this age and I asked myself the same question about hunger re habit but in the end feeding her got us all back to sleep quickly and easily and when she got older she pushed the time between feeds longer herself as she was ready. Conversely DS fed erratically at night and was the one who became a habitual night feeder and needed me to wean him off (when he was approaching 1yo).

I think he's a bit young to be waking him from naps at the moment, apart from the last nap if needed to maintain BT. I know people who have capped first nap at this young age to try to get a longer one in the middle of the day & my DS never took a long first nap so fell into that patten by himself,  but it's not what the BW books recommend. In the end it's your choice though & I definitely understand wanting to get everyone napping at the same time.
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline Crispysage

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2016, 20:17:56 pm »
Thanks so much for your advice and sharing your experience. (I wasn't planning on weaning NF now - i'm totally ok with the stars quo - DS1 was demanding A LOT more at this stage, I count myself lucky. - the books do seem to suggest that he doesn't need it though - but I think perhaps thats more relevant to formula fed babes.) More importantly regarding his naps - I woke him twice today  :o Once because it was over 2 hours (and the first nap was 1.5) and then the second time was too close to BT (it had been 1 hr and I needed to leave to come home with DS1 anyway.) I think as long as he is getting 15/16 hrs in 24hrs it's ok? (Today he got somewhere between 16-17...)


?



Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2016, 05:21:50 am »
Hi again! 
He's a good long napper isn't he? I think waking after 2hrs and to get BT is ok. I misunderstood you when you asked about waking from naps and thought you meant doing a short morning nap (waking at under an hour). Whether you wake or not is your choice and depends on the baby but I think the books suggest no longer than a 3hr chunk of sleep for younger babies but also waking from nap at feed time - which would be 2hrs on a 4hr EASY.  That total amount of sleep looks great.
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline Crispysage

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Re: Schedule Help for 3mo please!
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2016, 10:59:38 am »
Yes- I have been experimenting with // hoping for shorter morning naps to match the long one to Ds1. It sure is great when it happens... Thanks again for your time  :)