20mo BT struggles + EWs

[LaraDaisy]

Hello everyone!
i have a few questions regarding my spirited guy who has become quite difficult recently in terms of sleep.
after he was about 13-14mo I switched him to 1 nap and it went quite well for us: he was sleeping 11-11,5hrs at night (sometimes even 12!) and having a nap of 1-1,5hrs, he was going to bed quite easy after a normal routine of bath and then goodnight story and kiss from mom, he could lay awake for a while in his bed but did not cry and just fell asleep, it was heaven which I have to thank Tracy and this forum for 
then he had days like this:
WU 6-45/7ish
NAP 12-15/12-30 till 14ish
BT between 19 and 19-30

but then around 17 months he started being more difficult in terms of falling asleep - he would cry mama and i would do WI/WO for about 20-30 min, which was not fun but i was attributing it to 18months sleep regression and just kept doing the WI/WO, and after about a month it stopped, only to reappear a few weeks later and now it is every single night - 20-30 min of WI/WO and it starts to worry me because he does not seem to be getting better in this aspect.
Additionally, we moved his BT a bit earlier as he was really tired during the day and would be very grumpy and terribly short on temper and always in bad mood and having flat on hysterics when he woke up in the morning or from his nap, so I decided to try earlier BT and it helped immediately with his moods but now the last 2 weeks that we have earlier BT, he started waking up earlier and earlier, the last 2 days it has been 5-45 and the tiredness returned.
so, our day looks like this:
WU 5-45 - 6-00 am
NAP 12-15 till 14-15ish
BT 19 (in bed by 19 but taking 20-30 min of WI/WO before falling asleep)
and last few nights he has this early morning wakings after 5: he would wake up at 5, i would do wi/wo, then 5-15, then 5-30 and then 5-45 up for the day, or somedays sleep till 6 or 6-15 but still be tired.

Can I do something to improve his sleep and our BT experiences? It is getting really exhausting for me and him I think as he is clearly OT (last week he fell asleep in the daycare two times at around 11).
For now the only thing that I can think of is shortening his nap and moving his BT later, but I want to hear some other opinions as I am really not looking forward to having his meltdowns due to OT (he has NASTY meltdowns with throwing everything, pulling my hair, biting me and throwing up)

thanks a lot!

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!

Here are a few suggestions, but if you feel he's getting OT now your first step might be to do one or 2 nights of EBT to catch up,, even if it gives you EW again e.g. a 6.30 BT, hoping for a 6.30-6/6.30 night.

Is it possible that he needed the earlier BT to compensate when he was going through the sleep regression but has caught up now and could go back to a slightly later BT? You could try moving BT gradually later e.g to 7.15 for a few nights then 7.30 and see if that helps.

If you still get EW you could maybe also try moving start of nap gradually later too but keeping length the same so the whole day is moved a little later.

OR.. If you're worried about OT at BT, you could try just moving the start of the nap gradually later but keeping length and BT the same...some LOs at this stage do well with a long morning and shorter afternoon.

A few options ..which are you most comfortable with?

[Bella89]

Hi there,
Just wanted to jump in and say that my 19mo has THE SAME problem, except the nap, which I have to wake him from. We have nap 12:30-3 usually, but it's better when I wake him 2:30. I just don't have the heart to do so.
After lots of trying I found 2 things helpful:
1. Lots of activity around 5-6:30. Running and god knows what.
2. 7 pm supper, bath and asleep by 8.

Maybe you feel like he is more tired, but I feel they have this energy they don't know how to accomodate.
PS. I also tried later nap, and it was worse.
Just a case to consider:)

[LaraDaisy]

Thank you ladies for your suggestions!
I think today he is better in terms of OT, he woke up at 6, but then fell back asleep till 6:30. Yesterday he was in bed at 19, but fell asleep at around 19:15. I think I will try to stick to this time (in bed by 19) fora couple of days and then we will see how it evolves. If EWs do not come back the I will stick to this timing, I am happy if he's up at 6:30 and happy

[LaraDaisy]

Just wanted to post a small update on our situation here
So it seems that the best results are coming from shorter nap. 2hrs is too much. 1hr to 1,5hrs nap means that at 19 he is tired enough to fall asleep easily and sleep till 6:30ish. The trick is to wake him up at the right time so that he is in good mood in the afternoon I am not always good at it as I just fall asleep myself (1st trimester fatigue is so tough with an active spirited toddler 

[Bella89]

That would make sense. I wake DS at 2h knowing 1,5 is his optimum, but I need my nap ;p
I am horrible, I know, but we need our strenght to keep up with them:)
Mine is always in bad mood when I wake him:/ 30 min of fussing. We also PT right now, but there is no chance to put him on the potty right after WU, so we usually miss the pee:( Hate that!
Back to you- it is good to know what works. Now you just have to do what works for both of us. Don't be so hard on yourself, pregnancy is heavy on your body enough.
Hugs

[chauncycay]

I think we're a bit similar over here :-)
Our 22mo hadn't ever been consistent with sleep. Very spirited and anything new she learns seems to throw her off. Lots of talking, 3 word sentences started, just started part time day care, etc.
We're holding off on PT until we fix the sleep a bit.
Naps are inconsistent, but usually only an hour to 1.5 max. We also go through spells of no nap unless we resort to the car
Nap is after 1:30 on school days (M-R) and we try to keep her up until at least 1p on days at home to be consistent. We stay active with her most of the day (she won't stay still unless strapped into something or held!) and she has slow times to stroll around the block, or read or sit and watch a program around 8am and right after she gets up from nap ~3p.
Currently BT is set at 19:00. She goes down easily now as long as I stay and "sleep" next to her crib until she settles in. I tried wi/wo and she just screamed, for over hour, so this works, kind of.
Every night is different with NW (usually 1, quick resettle if before 3am with sleepy words over the monitor, or sometimes I can go in and say sleepy words and get out pretty easily). She's started saying "hold hand please" when she goes down and when she wakes in the middle of the night *sigh.
EW is every morning and *super* fussy immediately with no recourse but the whole house up lights on reading, snacks, etc. She wakes up immediately and screams Out! Up on mommy! I've tried putting new animals in her bed after she falls asleep, etc.
Usually wakes between 5-6am. This morning 4:47, (but no NW! :-)) no getting her back down, even on me.
She clearly needs more sleep!
We have to car cat nap before day care drop off between 8-9am on days like today, otherwise it all goes south...

Per the pedi recommendation we're trying melatonin before bed and a timer light set at 6am.

Before investing in a gro clock we're trying the led candles we use in the house at night, one in her room set to come on at 6am. Otherwise it's pitch black, which is why I'm scared to get a gro clock to add light to her room...
I'll post back if anything works! :-)
Just need sleep :-)