3 mo old short naps and major meltdowns before every sleep. HELP!

[jyr838]

I have a 3 month old little girl who has some mild reflux. We hare been trying our very best to keep her on an EASY sleep schedule but short naps are killing us! Generally there is guaranteed to be at least one part of our day that ends up looking more like EASAS. Because of this, our routines are all over the place! I will include a sample of a schedule that we've had recently that kind of sums out our problem. Any help, suggestions and even commiserating is very welcome!!!

S: 851pm-142am
NF: 150am
S: 210am-539am
NF: 545am
S:610am-855am

E: 9am
S: 1017am-1105am

E:11:30am
S:12:42pm-115pm


E: 148pm
S:240pm-323pm

E:4:16pm
S:450pm-545pm (this is where it gets a bit wonky - it hasn't been enough time that she should be eating yet and so we end up using the ergo carrier to try and bridge the gap and give her an extra nap)
A: 545pm-655pm
S:655pm - 730pm

E:740pm
S (bedtime): 920pm - 613am (next day)


We seem to find that there is one sequence every day where we need to correct her EASY schedule as her eating slowly moves from the beginning of her awake time to almost right before she needs to nap again. So when we get to a situation where she is feeding very close if not right before her nap, she will invariably wake up and not be due for a feed for another 1.25-1.75 hours so we keep her awake for approx 1 hour then take her out in the carrier where we know she will fall asleep.

Oh and also we've tried giving her shorter awake times and tried starting her wind down routine at 40 min and 60 min. Neither of which seems to give us any better of a result really.

Of note: there was a week straight about a week ago where she was able to put herself to sleep. We would put her into her crib awake and she would end up cooing and talking herself to sleep (sometimes with a bit of fussing but not a ton) and then this past week she has been screaming bloody murder as soon as we put her into her crib or even take her into her room. it has gotten so bad that we have had to calm her down first and then really help her get super super drowsy before even putting her in the crib where she sometimes will fall asleep on her own or will then escalate again...

The other issue we have is with the volume of formula that our 3 month old is taking. She is 12.8 lbs and due to her reflux cannot seem to handle more than 4 oz (approx 120ml) per feed and so needs to feed ever 2.25-2.75 hours. she ends up taking around 750ml of formula per day which to my understanding is below what a baby of her weight should be drinking (if i go by the 2.5 oz per lb method). Maybe a separate topic but another factor potentially in our current napping debacle.

Thanks again for any help!!!

Update: she has recently started with major meltdowns before each sleep as soon as we are done winding down and turn off her light to start with the calming she starts to cry to the point of a full blown meltdown!! It takes us anywhere from 20-45 min to calm her down to the point that we can start the soothing part of our routine (rocking with a soother until she is drowsy and then we put her in her crib without the soother and she self settles to sleep). Could see be undertired???

[lolsyb1982]

Hi and welcome!

You do have my commiserations. Short naps were the bane of my life until my dd2 was 7 months. It's very typical of this age to have short naps and for the most part is developmental and they need to learn to transition between sleep cycles.
Your A times look about right - the average around this age is 1hr 20/30. Here's a link you might like to save as its really handy to reference for the first year Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

You might want to pull back the A times after a short first nap as im wondering if that 2nd one is OT.

Stick with trying to resettle the naps with ssh pat. It can take a lot of time and effort but you should see some improvements over time.

[Clairehv]

Commiseration here as well
I am living the 40 min wake up cycle with my 4.5 month old who despite always settling herself initially, cannot transition herself.
We often end up using the sling to then get another nap or extend the nap just to try and keep the day on track.
I hope it will improve with age and good luck.
Do what you need to do to get through and it will improve.
My dd 1 became an amazing napper

[jyr838]

Thanks for the replies. Im wondering for the awake times does that mean 1hr20/30 from the time she is awake until asleep (ie: wind down routine would staty at 1hr) or does that mean that 1hr20/30 I should be trying to put her down?

[lolsyb1982]

The A times mentioned would be from when she wakes until when her eyes are shut so would need to include wind down.

[jyr838]

Ok. So something new that or DD has recently started is now when we start going into her room to start our sleep time routine (whether it's napping or bedtime) she starts to cry and will eventually escalate to a full blown meltdown. It takes us anywhere from 20-45 min to even just calm her down noteven putting her in her crib to sleep. Once she's calm we can then finish our soothing routine of rocking in the chair with her soother until she is drowsy and then we put her in her crib drowsy but awake and she falls asleep on her own.
I guess my question is could she be undertired?

 We usually bring her upstairs to start her wind down routing at about the 1hr Awake mark (we read books and sing a song). The once that routine is done and we turn off the lights that's when she begins her meltdown.
 I've put an update in the original post as well with these details.

[Scottishmummy]

My DD used to scream if we started WD too early.  It was like she was cross at us trying to get her to sleep when she wasn't tired enough. She only needed a really short WD and could fall asleep within minutes.

If you're aiming for a 1hr30 A time, maybe wait until 1hr15 before starting WD?

[deb]

Have you seen this? 3-4 months was Hell for us, especially with reflux as part of our equation, but Tracy herself helped us sort it: How Tracy Helped Josie and her Family Get Past 45-Min. Naps!