8 month old - need new settling techniques

[Newmum1111]

Hi there,

My lo has just turned 8 months old and is usually very good at self settling (thanks to Tracey's books and this forum!). We do our wind down routine which includes a brief breastfeed, nappy change, turn on white noise, sing a song, put him into bed, zip up sleeping bag, pop in dummy, say have a good sleep and leave. Most of the time for naps he chats for a few minutes then does a mantra cry for less than a minute, rolls over and goes to sleep. Occasionally I need to go back in, pop the dummy in and sit next to the cot while he drifts off. All good (at the moment)...except when it's bedtime!

In the past, if he had trouble getting to sleep I would shush pat and occasionally rock him. Then at about 6 months, the shush pat became too annoying for him so I would just leave my hand on him. Now he's started pushing my hand off him.

The latest is he grabs my hand and holds it as he rolls over and desperately tries to get to sleep but even that doesn't work. And now the last two nights, after an hour of trying to settle in the cot, even rocking hasn't worked. At this point I have breast fed (and he's taken a full feed both nights) and put him into bed awake but very sleepy and he's crashed.

Can you please help me with a settling technique that will help at this age?

We finished transitioning to 2 naps about 2 weeks ago and his routine is finally looking good except I suspect I'm either keeping him up a bit too long for bedtime or I'm not winding down enough. I'd appreciate some help on this too. His easy routine is as follows for most days-

Awake 6am
E 7 bf
E 8 solids
E 8.45 top up bf
A total awake time between 3hrs and 3hrs 10 mins
S 9-11
E 11 bf usually small amount
E 12 solids
E 1.45 bf
A total awake time about 3hrs
S 2-3.30
E 3.30 bf
E 5 solids
E 5.45 bf usually small amount
A total awake time about 3hrs
In bed 6.30pm
Try for an hour to get him to sleep. After an hour give up and feed.
E 7.30 full feed
S 7.45

We usually have 2 night wakings for a bf. One around 10 or 11 and the other around 2 or 3. The number of bfs could also be a problem. I find he doesn't have very much at each bf  and gets distracted easily.

I should also mention he's been teething and have given him nurofen about 20 mins before bedtime the last 3 nights.

I really hope someone can help as I don't want to breastfeed so close to bedtime as I'm sure it will become a habit.

Thanks in advance.

[creations]

Hi
As you've only been on this routine 2 wks I'm not sure what the routine or feeds looked like before so forgive me if I'm way off track here.
Looks to me like dinner solids might be coming a bit too late, although 5pm might seem early to adults it is getting quite close to BT and could be effecting how much milk he's able to take at that last BF 5.45 which you say is small rather than later at 7.30 there is a full feed.  I'd expect to see a good full feed just prior to BT at any age (up to say 12 months or beyond).  I wonder if you can move the solids earlier to 4.30 or even 4pm to allow him more of an appetite before his BT feed?
Also putting into bed at 6.30pm looks a bit on the late side based on his A times and how long he's been on two naps. Can you aim to get him down a touch sooner? So that he has time to settle and relax with the aim of falling to sleep at/by 6.30pm?
If you need to extend the day a little I would look at increasing the second A time a little rather than letting the last A time become over long.

Now he's started pushing my hand off him.

The latest is he grabs my hand and holds it as he rolls over and desperately tries to get to sleep but even that doesn't work. And now the last two nights, after an hour of trying to settle in the cot, even rocking hasn't worked. At this point I have breast fed

What happens if you just walk out?  So you put him down, he is trying to go to sleep, how about just say night night call if you need me and leave?  Then return if he does call for you or cry?  It sounds like he doesn't really want you there or at least not touching him - mine was like that too although yes of course still needed help during certain phases.