15 month old waking screaming

[Han12345]

Hi everyone,

You have all been so good to me before and I'm really hoping you can help.

My little girl is nearly 15 months old and this last week has been waking crying in the night. Tonight being the worst so far. She woke very upset around 3.30 (3rd time she's woken tonight) so I went in and gave her a cuddle. She was happy straight away but wanted to get off me and stand/ wake up for the day and play. So made her stay with me and tried to let her know it was still bed time. She wasn't happy that I wanted to hold her so I put her back in her cot and she became absolutely hysterical. I tried to pick her up again and she snuggled into me but if I sat down she wanted to be off me. So I decided it was best to put her back in the cot and leave her to calm down herself (we have initially done some sleep training where she's CIO for a short time and found she usually settles much quicker on her own then if we are around).

The last couple of nights she been waking crying but soon settling herself.

So 30 mins later and she won't stop crying. I can tell though it's an angry cry rather than upset. She keeps stopping then deciding she's going to try again. I'm desperate to go in to her but I just know it won't help and will more prolong the situation.

What could be causing these and how can I help. She's not been very well recently and still has a runny nose and cough. When she first woke at 12am I went in and gave her nurofen and snuffle babe on her chest so realistically she shouldn't need any medicine.

We have also since January been working on her sleep transition from 2:1 and to stop EW. The last few weeks I feel we've had a break through with it and she's coping much better. Infact today has been one of the best days we've had in a while and I felt we had a break through! Then we've had this tonight??

Today's routine was this:

Wake:6.30 - leave in bed till 7
Breakfast: 7
Bottle:9am
Lunch: 11am
Nap: 11.45
Woke: 1.50 (2 hour sleep I was chuffed! She's only been doing 1.15hr and she's always needed a good sleep)
Snack: 2.30
Tea:4.45
Bath: 6.20 (usually this is around 6 but we were out at softplay)
Bed: 7 (this is usually between 6.30/7 depending on how she has slept in the day and how tired she is)

As I've been writing this she has finally settled (fingers crossed). I wonder if I should have just not gone in initially as I might've made it worse.

Does it sound like it could be night terrors? Or maybe separation anxiety? Could it just be the cough and cold upsetting her? Or maybe she's just going through a learning curve??

These babies really keep us guessing don't they!!!

Thank you xx

[Han12345]

Ok so total BAD MUM moment! Went to get her when she woke this morning and she had wee all down her front  I didn't even think to check her nappy because I couldn't smell poo. She drank a lot of water yesterday but I didn't even think her nappy might over flow!! Feel so bad.

Anyway, she is still waking crying in the night as she's done it a few nights in a row,  this was obviously just why she didn't settle back easily at 4am and was crying  god I feel awful!!
So any idea why she might be waking and if there's anything I can do to help?

[Katet]

When she first woke at 12am I went in and gave her nurofen and snuffle babe on her chest so realistically she shouldn't need any medicine.

Was the nurofen on an empty stomach as that can cause stomach pains & it's not really good practice & that may be why she woke another time

we have initially done some sleep training where she's CIO for a short time

On BW we really don't condone CIO as it breaks the trust the child has in the parent being there for them. It is hard when they don't settle easily but it's also very confusing for them why sometimes they get their cries answered & other times they don't, so it acutally means they will cry more.

It is normal for babies & toddlers to go through lighter sleep cycles & wake  if things like teeth or illness come into play they wake for longer periods & if it's night terrors she really wouldn't respond to you & if it's SA then actually going into her & showing you do respond to her needs is an important long term action. Esp now as she was left to sleep in the wet.

Rather than going in & giving her a cuddle you are probably better going in (in the dark) & softly telling her "Mummy's here, time for sleep" & just repeating it, trying not to hold her, but if she needs it just putting an arm on her chest if she is lying down or if she is standing, gently lying her down &  if she stops crying when you turn up, just keep reminding her "it's sleep time.

I'd be inclined to think if she's been a good sleeper then it's illness & teeth & "this too will pass" but please don't leave her crying, you wouldn't leave a friend to cry alone would you, so honestly I don't think it's fair to do it to a baby even if it is in the middle of the night.

[Han12345]

Thank you for your response. I know it sounds bad me letting her cry. She's just going through a stage at the moment where she's shouting/ crying for everything as a way of communicating with me in the day and I thought she was wanting to get up for the day. I do feel terrible for last night as I have never left her that long before but after a few nights where she keeps waking crying, I was tired, I had been in to comfort her and I didn't know what else to do. Obviously I know now but we learn the hard way don't we.

She's been amazing today so I know she's not mad at me. Also went down to bed really well tonight. I've been worried I could have made her not want to go to bed. I will and do always comfort her, especially in the night. Last night was a sleep deprived one off which I've regretted all day.

I know I sounded like a terrible mum. Xxx

[Haribo2012]

Hey, your not a terrible mum we all make mistakes and you recognised that you don't want to leave her crying.

Fingers crossed you have a good night, keep us posted x

[Katet]

It's hard being sleep deprived, my eldest only started decent sleep at 6mo for a week & then started daycare & got sick & we didn't see decent sleep again from him until he was 2yo & even then that was 1 night waking, by which stage I had a NB. I think society sets us up very unreasonably to say that babies & toddlers should all sleep through the night from a few months old & we as Mums are expected to work & run a family on less sleep... parenthood is peppered with in the moment decisions that with hindsight we would do differently.

Be mindful that if she is crying in the night it's most probably for a reason, I know with my DS2 we had a few horrid nights & I took him to the Dr & discovered he had an ear infection, we'd thought it was just teething & he hadn't been sick, but his ears were red. IMHO if a toddler who was sleeping well stops for more than a couple of nights, then get them checked out by a Dr as their quite possibly is a reason (esp since most children have ear infections when they are little) .

[Haribo2012]

How are things going?x