Lots of questions about implementing EASY!

[Hoofbeat]

Hi, I'm a FTM and my DS is 12weeks old tomorrow. I've been very loosely following the EASY approach (as in I always give him activity after eating, before putting him down for a nap), but am now keen to develop a bit more of a routine. I've been reading "Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer: Sleep" but I have lots of questions I was hoping someone could help me with:

1. My DS goes down for bed about 7:30pm at night, so I was hoping to start his day time routine at 7:30am (this also fits in well with mine and my OH's own routine). He's now sleeping through from 07:30pm-05:30am, but then I'm not sure what to do! He usually has a very good feed at 05:30 and is ready to settle back to sleep at 06:30/45am. Should I then wake him at 07:30am to start the day, or wait for him to get a longer sleep in?

2. How does the EASY routine work when you have commitments at different times different days? For example, on Mondays we go to a baby group at 10am and it is a 20minute drive away, so we need to leave the house at 09:40am, but my DS goes down for his nap at 9am usually. Should I be changing his schedule on Mondays, or just letting him try and stay on schedule as best as we can? I'm happy for him to sleep in the car, but inevitably when we arrive at 10am he's awake, but not ready for food until a bit later, so then we're more following an EASA approach (but then later on during the day we're back to EASY).

3. My DS has silent reflux (he is on medication for it and I've been trying a dairy/egg/soya free diet and we're seeing paedatrician next week) and sometimes prefers having a smaller feed, then a play, and then another smaller feed, so then we're following EAEASY - is that ok?

Thanks for all your help - I'm likely to have more questions as I continue to read the book and implement the routine!

ETS: I've thought of another question:

4. Is it ok if the bedtime routine is not exactly the same every day? We only bath 3 times a week (due to dry skin) so on bath days the routine goes: Bath, PJs, Lights Out, Feed, Sleep and on non-bath days the routine goes: Massage, PJs, Lights Out, Feed, Sleep. So far it seems to be working well for us (although DS has a tendency to feed on and off for an hour!).

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW forums
I'll see if I can help you with those questions.

Should I then wake him at 07:30am to start the day, or wait for him to get a longer sleep in?

It really depends on a few different things.  Depending on your own personality you might prefer a set WU time every morning and this is fine, so yes you can go ahead and wake him at 7.30am to start the day, after a short while he would likely form this as a habit and start to wake naturally at that time.  This can also be the more desirable option if you have set things you need to be out and about for, school drop off (for an older child perhaps) or baby groups etc as it keeps each day pretty much consistent.
On the other hand if you prefer a lie in in the mornings (after being up in the night to feed etc) and if LO is happy to sleep longer, then there isn't really harm in that either.  So long as you can work out a suitable day time routine of enough but not too much sleep and keep the day and night in balance it is fine, some LOs will happily do longer than 12hr nights at certain ages/stages.

2. How does the EASY routine work when you have commitments at different times different days?

This depends a bit more on LOs character.  Some LOs are very flexible and can cope with one day per week being off track, they bounce back from it and go back to their regular routine the next day. However some do not cope well and will be grouchy and may not recover for several days which could mean you take several days "recovering" from the baby group and only have a couple of "normal" days before again going out to the baby group. There are options to work around this for instance making all days consistent by giving a CN in the morning instead of the evening (or 2 CNs one either side of the group), or opting for a baby group at a different time (when my DS was under 12 months we only did afternoon groups, after turning 1yo we only did morning groups, I looked for groups which fitted his routine and sometimes went in a little late or left a little early because for him this was preferable to missing his nap time).

but inevitably when we arrive at 10am he's awake, but not ready for food until a bit later, so then we're more following an EASA approach (but then later on during the day we're back to EASY).

This is fine. There is no strict rule to feed immediately after a nap if it is not time to eat. Rather it is about having a little A time between E and S to avoid a feed to sleep prop.  Many routines are EASAEAS.

3. My DS has silent reflux (he is on medication for it and I've been trying a dairy/egg/soya free diet and we're seeing paedatrician next week) and sometimes prefers having a smaller feed, then a play, and then another smaller feed, so then we're following EAEASY - is that ok?

Yes, it's common for refluxers to prefer smaller feeds more often.  I would just keep an eye that he is feeding well and not snacking. If you are BF you will want him to feed well enough to get the hind milk.  Mine had silent reflux too. He didn't take a lot of milk as a result although always gained weight, he was a great fan of solids when he started (not this young though).

4. Is it ok if the bedtime routine is not exactly the same every day?

Yes I think that's fine.  Honestly mine screamed every time I tried to bath him until he was about 5 months old so I cloth washed him and only tried the bath once per week or so.  I think your LO will let you know if he is not happy about the variety in the routine. It might be possible to give a water bath without any soaps for instance if bathing helps him wind down and sleep well.

hope this helps

[Hoofbeat]

Thank you creations that is so very helpful! I'm keen for my DS to learn to be flexible with his routine (and so far he mostly seems to be) as we live in quite a rural location so are very limited on the baby groups available to us, so we can't unfortunately be too choosey about what time of the day we go.

[creations]

Yes, I understand. Baby groups are great, a life saver in many ways. Lovely for LO to get to meet others, get into a different environment and so on, but also great for you to get out and have a little social time with some other parents too.  I often struggled to get us out for our groups but was determined and once there I felt like it was a little "time off" even though I was still fully responsible for him.
I was quite lucky though, there were a number of centres I could look at the time tables of activities to find a best fit even if not perfect.

if it turns out that the baby groups timing does effect his routine I do believe you can work around it though.  Like I said, a CN either side with long naps in the afternoon instead, and keeping every day the same (doing the 2 CNs even on the non-group days) can also help for babies who are not so flexible with their routine.

[Hoofbeat]

Fab thanks we will try your suggestions if he does seem to get upset.

At the moment we are just trying to battle naps as we seem to struggle getting him to fall asleep on his own (though he's fine at night!). Going to try and really focus on the 4S's (though without the swaddling as he hates that!!)

[creations]

It's absolutely normal for LOs to sort out their night sleep before their day sleep.  From 4-6 months is a common time for difficulty with naps, mine started his "4 month regression" at 3.5 months and even independent sleepers can find it hard to nod off independently or do a full nap during this phase.
Sleep training takes time and effort, you'll get there bit by bit.