short nap and hard to go back to sleep

[emily.panye]

Hi everyone, my LO is 3+month old, her day time nap is always short, 80% time she normally wakes up around 40min, but we used to use shuupat help her sleep another 40-60min, but recently, 99% time she wakes up around 40min with crying, and it's really hard for her to sleep back even with shuupat. here's our schedule, we also extend to 4 hours routine since she isn't hungry with 3 hours routine anymore. Most of time she wakes up crying cause her arm is out, but it's more and more harder to swaddle her now.

EA: 7:00 am
S: 8:30 am, start crying around 9:15 and we reswaddle her and give paci, it normally take her 40min to go back sleep and we have to make sure the paci doesn't fall, she can sleep another 40min
EA: 11:00 am
S: 12:30 am, start crying around 13:15, same like last round
EA: 15:00 am
S: 16:30 pm, start crying around 17:15, we hold her another 30min to calm her down
A: 18:00 Bath and night time routine starts
E: 17:00 feed and put on bed
S: 17:30 fall asleep
normally another feeding around 2/3 am, and if her arms are out she wakes up every 40min after 4 am. 

Should we just let her up around 40min mark instead of helping her go back to sleep ?
We tried swaddle one arm, and hold her arm after 40min mark, but this doesn't help her sleep back, should we keep trying or wait couple more weeks?
Also everytime her paci fall she wakes up after 40min mark, is that mean we should not keep teaching her to use paci fall asleep?
Should we teach her to use security blanket instead of swaddle+paci ?

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW forums

I think if your LO was previously able to be resettled more easily at the 40 min mark and now it is so hard it takes an additional 40 mins to get her back to sleep, it sounds like she is ready for a longer A time.  The A time you are on right now is spot on for the guidance times but it's always important to note that they are only guidance and some LOs need longer, as she has already moved to a longer E time too it could well mean she's ready.
Honestly I've always been slightly confused by the timing of the 4hr EASY, in one of the BW books it says "during the 4th month" (which to me means 3months+) and in other places it is "at" 4 months.  We can assume that, as with all the BW routines, it is a guidance and we should follow LOs needs for a suitable routine.
How about try an additional 15 mins on her A time and see if that helps with the nap, either she can begin to transition on her own from one sleep cycle to the next or it is easier to resettle her when you are helping her transition.  What do you think?

Personally I would not drop the paci now. The SIDS guides are that if a LO is reliant on the paci for sleep it should not be dropped cold turkey before 6 months.  I would wait the 3 months. I know many parents do drop the paci when it becomes a problem. It is a very personal choice - one I didn't have to make as my DS refused a paci and didn't suck his fingers or thumb either.

Certainly you can introduce a lovey (security blanket or item) which can help with the wind down for sleep, it can be a very strong cue for sleep and when she is older it can offer a huge amount of comfort. I am a big fan of the lovey and my son always used a muslin square (lots of them, easy to wash and replace), however I would warn again that SIDS guides are not to leave anything in LOs crib until at least 6 months.  What I did was use the muslin for all feeds, sleep wind down and comfort at any time of day, it created a strong bond.  At sleep time I let him use it to fall to sleep (I left the room briefly) then I'd pop back in to remove it.  When he was older and I felt confident he had proper control of where it was I left it with him...and later on I gave him extras so he could always find one in the night - he still sleeps with 3 in his bed at 6yo and has a little mini one like a handkerchief that he keeps in his pocket for school.

Should we just let her up around 40min mark instead of helping her go back to sleep ?

It's exhausting sitting in a darkened room shush/patting for 40 mins to resettle every nap. Many people do decide to just get LO up instead and get on with the day (I did during the 4 month regression, there was only so much darkness and patting i could cope with before I went crazy!).  Maybe try out the longer A time first and see how it goes before deciding what to do?  Or try the longer A time on nap 1 and aim to resettle that one but let the rest of the naps in the day be shorter so you can get out into the air.
It's your choice.

Here if you have further questions or if you'd like to let us know how it goes.

[emily.panye]

Thanks !!! we will try extend her A time today.