5 month old... 45 minute naps

[alealfaro86]

My baby is about to turn 5 MO at the end of the week and he's been sleeping for 11 hours at night since he was 2.5. He used to nap for 3 straight hours in the morning but it stopped when he turned 4 months. At that point, he started waking up after 45 min - 1 hour and I'd have to go back in, pat him and give him the pacifier, but he'd go back to sleep. For the past few days he doesn't want to fall asleep again. He´s VERY awake. I've tried putting him down later, having more AT before his nap, letting cry for 10-15 minutes so he'll grow tired. Nothing's working.

I've read about the 4 month regression, but could this still be part of that? How long does it last? I know he can fall back asleep on his own cause I've seen him do it on naps sometimes and during the night. My worry is that he's not getting enough sleep during the day. He does two more naps, one at around 2 pm and that's only a 35-40 minute nap, and one at 5:30 pm but it's also 30-35 min. Any tips?

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW forums.

Could you give us a little more information please?

How did you initially sleep train?  Was it with the BW shush/pat method or another method?  And does he fall to sleep for all naps and night sleep independently now?

When you say you've tried letting him cry 10-15 mind, do you mean a self soothing mantra or is it a hard cry?

What does the day and night look like at the moment - could you post your EAS times please.

[alealfaro86]

Hello! Here's my whole story...

At around a month and a half we noticed he had a light case of reflux so we decided that at night I would keep him in a "standing" position for 15-20 minutes before putting him down. By the end of the 15 minutes, he'd be asleep in my arms. There'd be no rocking, just light pats on the back. Now at 5 months old, I still leave him in a standing position before putting him down, but only for about 10 minutes and he's usually awake by the time I put him down. He'll "talk" and play for 15-20 minutes and then fall asleep on his own. On a very RARE occasion, he'll cry on and off for those 15 minutes and then fall asleep on his own. Only once have I had to go in after 15 minutes and pat him and shush him because he was ED OFF crying his lungs out.

For the naps, I used to swaddle him up to 1 week ago. I would look out for the signs that he was tired (usually yawning or fussiness), swaddle him, give him his pacifier, pat him for about 1 minute to soothe him, put him down (still awake) and place a burp cloth or something similar next to the pacifier so that it wouldn't fall out before he was fully asleep. After a while he'd be so asleep that he'd drop it. When he started waking up during the naps, at first I would go in immediatly and give him the pacifier and pat him for a few minutes so that he'd fall back asleep. It usually worked but after a few weeks I started getting the feeling that he knew I'd be going in and he didn't make the effort to fall back asleep on his own. There'd be days that I'd have to go in 10 times in those 2.5-3 hours but he'd fall back asleep. And then there were other days where he'd sleep perfectly without waking up.

Now that'd he's off the swaddle, I look out for the signs, give him his pacifier, put him down but I have to stay there for a few minutes to make sure he doesn't grab the pacifier because he'll start crying. It's what soothes him. The first few days without the swaddle, he'd wake up after 40-45 minutes and I'd let him cry for 15 minutes before going in to give him the pacifier and patting him. On occasions he'd fall asleep on his own in those 15 minutes. If he didn't fall asleep on his own, I'd go in, give him the pacifier, pat him and once he was calm again, I'd leave the room. If he started crying again, I'd wait 10 minutes before going back in and doing the same and usually that'd be enough for him to fall asleep again. But for the past few days he'll wake up after 40-45 minutes and WON'T go back to sleep.

This is our day:

7:15-8 am: Wakes up. If he wakes up before 8, I leave him in his crib where he's chatting and playing on his own.
8 am: first bottle
8:15-9 am: activity time
9 am: we drop off big sister at summer camp but come home to more activity time
9:45-10 am: put him down for first nap. I've been leaving him in his crib until 12 pm even when he wakes up after 40 minutes and I have to go in to help him fall back asleep.

12 pm: second bottle
1 pm: pick sister up and a little activity time
2 pm: second nap
2:40 pm: wakes up
2:40-4 pm: activity time

4pm: third bottle
4:20-5:30 pm: activity time
5:30 pm: third nap (usually on the stroller or in my arms because we are almost never home in the afternoons)
6 pm: wakes up

7:15 pm: bath time
7:30 pm: bottle
8 pm: asleep

Three out of the seven nights of the week he wakes up in the middle of the night (around 3 am), he'll talk or play with his hand for 10-15 minutes but falls back asleep on his own. I haven't had to go in for about 1.5-2 months now.

I don't know if I gave waaaay too many details but I wanted to be as specific as possible. I know that as babies grow, they'll start sleeping less, but it was a dramatic change. Two weeks ago he was sleeping 2-2.5 hours in the morning. Now he only wants 40-45 minutes. Should I be doing something differently? Or is this normal? Should I keep on trying to put him back to sleep or should I just take him out of his crib when he wakes up? With my first child, the second she'd wake up I'd think: she's not sleepy anymore, and bring her out. But many days she was cranky. I don't want to make those mistakes again, that's why I insist on him falling back asleep.

[alealfaro86]

Quick update... I had the same problem this morning. After 45 minutes he woke and nothing worked getting him back to sleep. I became really frustrated and swaddled him and he fell asleep on his own in literally 30 seconds.

I know it's a setback but could it be that he's not ready? Should I swaddle him for the first nap and try again in a month?

[jessmum46]

Hi there, just stepping in to offer some help if I can. 

Four months is a common time for the 45 minute nap to rear its ugly head.  Lots of reasons - mainly developmental but also routine and props can contribute.  It sounds like the paci is a big sleep cue for him, so if it falls out that might be a reason for him to struggle to settle again at 45 mins.  However if you can't get him to resettle even if you put it straight back, it may well be other factors are at play.  The swaddle may well be one - why did you decide to unswaddle him?

Has he been on the routine you posted above for some time with naps at those set(ish) times?  If so, I think the issue with the first nap is that it's probably now too early for him.  At 5 months many LOs are having an A time of about 2h30 mins, which would mean (based on an 8am wake) first nap around 10.30am.  Now I wouldn't suggest to jump there immediately, but maybe push it forwards to 10.15 for a few days, then to 10.30 if the nap doesn't lengthen out.  You may then need to adjust timing of the second nap accordingly - for example if he sleeps 10.30-12.30, you might want a second nap around 3pm. 

I'm not sure how familiar you are with baby whisperer techniques but we don't in general support leaving a LO to cry alone.  There is always a balance to be had so that you are not rushing in immediately at the slightest whimper, but certainly we would suggest that your response should be based on the cry, not an arbitrary time on the clock.  I'm sure you know your baby well enough to recognise when there is a 'fuss' or 'grumble' kind of cry - which is very different from a full-on crying distressed cry.  The latter should always be responded to immediately so that LO maintains that trust that help will be there when he needs it.

In terms of whether you get him up after a failed resettle - really it's up to you but to be honest I think you know in 10-15 mins max if the resettle is going to happen or not.  If you leave LO for a long time in the crib awake the chances are by the time you get them up they'll already be getting tired again and you'll miss out on the best bits of their play time!  Personally speaking I'd just get up and move on with the day, being aware next nap will likely need to happen earlier.

Hope that's some help