Baby wakes after 45 min napping, lays awake for 15 and goes back to sleep

[Marizza4]

Hello everyone!

I’ve been reading through posts about naps for couple of weeks now and I cant seem to find anything about our situation. We’ve been on a.e.s.y for almost two months now, baby is three months old. She sleeps through the night-DF at 11 and eats again at 5 am and we wake up at 7.30 or 8. No assistance needed during the night for her sleep. But during the day she always wakes up after 40-45 min. This used to be after 30 min until few weeks ago. Most of the time she will fully awake and lay down for 15 min, mantra cry couple of times and go back to sleep for another 45 min-that’s when I will usually take her or wake her for the next feed. My question is-should I try wake to sleep (not  the shus pat version but the one with a gentle touch because the first one agitates her) or leave her because this way she learns to go back to sleep independently? And-After I pick her up at the end of second 45 min cycle, do I encourage 45 min waking?
Other info-we are on a 3 hour easy, I dont think she is ready gor 3,5 hour easy yet. I watch that she is not OT or OS as she is touchy baby when it comes to sleep, we start wind down after one hour of awake time and go to her room after 1.10 and she is in her crib by 1.20 awake time-it always after two-three yawns and watery eyes so I dont think she is UT. She eats very well also. We swaddle but she’s been breaking out a lot to suck her hands-tried unswaddling  so she can self soothe but she gets to excited with the sucking thing. We use PA/PD but with shushing-pick her up when she cries and wait until she is totally calm and put her down after that, shushing in between, patting never really worked for her.
Any suggestions or just opinions are greatlly appreciated, we’ve been dping this for two minths now, I am mentally drained from staring at the clock to see if she wakes and than at the monitor to see if she goes back. And oftenI will go in and try for the rest of the sleep cycle to get her back to sleep-that always agitates her and she never goes back to sleep.
Sorry for the long post!

[becj86]

Hi, welcome

I think if you were to nudge the A time, no need to go too much but another 5-10mins may help to get her just tired enough to connect those sleep cycles. She's doing really well if she's able to go back to sleep without any input at this point.

Re: A times - average A times go from 1.5hr at 3months to 2hr at 4 months to 2:45-3hr at 6 months, that's about 15min increase every fortnight and if you can increase gradually, things go a lot more smoothly.

And oftenI will go in and try for the rest of the sleep cycle to get her back to sleep-that always agitates her and she never goes back to sleep.

This sounds like she's probably a touch UT for naps. FWIW, its much easier to resettle a slightly OT nap than an UT one.

[creations]

Hi and welcome to BW forums

I agree with bec about nudging the A time only a touch, could do the trick. But what I really stopped by to say is that my DS also often did this when he was very young and an independent sleeper.  he was actually younger than your LO but he would wake and lay happily gazing around and eventually go back to sleep. I just left him to it as he never called or cried out for attention and he got enough rest.  I think there is a bit in the BW book which says this can happen and in generations gone by parents probably wouldn't have know their LOs were awake and going back to sleep because they were likely in another room - these days we have baby monitors or have baby sleeping in the family room during the day so we are more aware of broken sleep.

Glad you decided to post - you really don't need to scour the past posts for answers we generally like to offer individual support whenever we can.

[Marizza4]

Thanks Bec and Creations for your replies. Any support is encouraging as last few days I feel conpletely lost thinking is she OT or UT amd spending every nap with her in the room ttying to get her back to sleep.
Past few days baby wakes after 45 min and basically screams u til I come to pick her up. It could be regression, hopefully we’ll get back to the part where she just chills and dozes back to sleep.
I also noticed she is not particularly hungry until later in the evening so she might be ready to have longer A.
I will definately try it with longer A. If I understood corecrly, the time from her waking up until she falls asleep should be 5-10 min longer? And I should expect that it should get worse before it gets better because now she will be a bit OT? Is her being quite rested after 45 min another sign she is UT?

Would you suggest we try to stop swaddling her? She breaks out every time and although she sucks her fingers she gets really agitated once she starts sucking them-like a frenzy. Maybe it would be better to go through it together with nudzhing the A?
I dont know if this is important but putting her down for bedtime takes forever, she naps and wakes for 2-3 hours until she finally settles-I pay attention to feed her through this period so it’s not the hunger.

Bec, I did not know UT babies are harder to get back to sleep, thanks:)

Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it

[Marizza4]

Update- this morning baby was fussy after 1.10 hour, I’ve waited until 1.30 and after 5 min of wind down she fell asleep immediately-I was hoping it would take her longer to fall asleep so the A time is longer. Went in at 30 min and placed my hand on her chest to wait for waking up, at exactly 42 min into sleep she wakes up and starts smiling like she saw a Santa Claus with little bottles of chocolate breast milk.
Conclusion- A time to aim should be at least 1.40 with falling asleep or maybe even longer? And, if she is happy  after 40 min  nap-definite sign she is UT? Do I try to resettle UT baby or go on with the day and maybe prolong other naps, as EASY will be over much sooner-I also don't know how to deal with this?
Thank you!

[Marizza4]

Another update- baby woke up after 42 min, smiled and was calm in the crib. I just sat next to her, shushed couple of times (no physical or eye contact) when she complained and after 10 min she went back to sleep. Was this in a way successful W2S, because she was reassured by me being there? 

[becj86]

Sorry, I had a post all written out and lost it.

If I understood corecrly, the time from her waking up until she falls asleep should be 5-10 min longer? And I should expect that it should get worse before it gets better because now she will be a bit OT? Is her being quite rested after 45 min another sign she is UT?

Yes, a touch longer A as I think she is UT. Its not necessarily going to get worse - she may be going to sleep out of habit but you're not increasing by a lot, so it should be ok. Be ready to resettle at 30min but I think you'll find she'll just extend her nap length on her own over the first 3-4 days of the new A time. If not, we can tweak again.

Another update- baby woke up after 42 min, smiled and was calm in the crib. I just sat next to her, shushed couple of times (no physical or eye contact) when she complained and after 10 min she went back to sleep. Was this in a way successful W2S, because she was reassured by me being there? 

Maybe... I'm not sure if she stirred, but either way, she went back to sleep which is good.

I think she probably needs 1:40-1:45 A time given what you've said. Happy 45min wakings are usually UT but can be developmental. I think you're fairly safe saying she's UT though given her age and the progression from napping well to napping 45min and resettling self to requiring intervention to resettle to not resettling.

[Marizza4]

Thanks becj86,

We will try this for three days and I will update how’s it going.
I also have a feeling she is UT after I’ve read more about it.

We really appreciate this:)

[Marizza4]

So, here is my update:)
Tweaking the A time was definately way to go, it took us few days to see how much of an increase works for us and 1.40-1.45 A time is perfect. Baby wakes around 40 min mark but easily transitions. Getting rid of that catnap is also working great for us to move the bedtime earlier.

I dont expect an answer for this post, as it is not crucial and a lot of other parents need help, but if anyone was to read this-do I now continue to prolongue A time for about 5 min weekly until we reach 4 hour EASY (she is now 14 weeks old)?

Thanks!

[becj86]

Glad things are going well for you

do I now continue to prolongue A time for about 5 min weekly until we reach 4 hour EASY (she is now 14 weeks old)?

Great question! Yes, you do. If you increase A time gradually, about 15min every fortnight or so, sleep will be much easier for you. Average A times go from 1.5hr at 3 months to 2:45-3hr at 6 months, so that's about 5-10mins a week. Just watch for cues and if naps shorten or LO starts waking progressively earlier in the morning, its time for an increase.