4 month old: Extending naps, shush/pat, pacifier prop

[AliciaS]

My 4 month old LO2 has difficulty falling back asleep after a 40 minute sleep cycle. For a week or two I've been mostly patting him back to sleep. It typically takes 20 mins then he often briefly wakes up again after 5-10 min a couple of times before he is truly down again. Sometimes he won't do a full 40 min cycle again though. A few days ago he did a nap without waking up after one cycle, but hasn't since. I was able to devote this time to his naps because my mom was visiting and taking care of LO1. It will be very difficult to continue now.

How many days should I keep trying shush/pat? How many minutes should I try it if he's not falling back asleep? How long can I just keep focusing on naps only? Is it possible that I could just do shush/pat for naps and then he will learn to put himself back to sleep when he wakes at night? When he wakes up is it better to start shush/pat asap or wait until he cries?

I also use his pacifier as a prop unfortunately. I have to keep putting in back in his mouth when he wakes a few times. Should I hold off on fixing that while I'm working on connecting sleep cycles?

Thank you!!!!!

[becj86]

Hi just had a quick read of your other post re: feeding. From that, I know he is getting close to 5 months and given A times increase from 2hr at 4 months to ~2:45-3hr at 6 months (that's 10-15min increase per fortnight), LO may need a little more A time to be tired enough for a full nap with connected sleep cycles. 40min naps can be developmental at this age too, as sleep cycles become more pronounced.

In the first instance, I would say to increase A time by 15min and hold it there for a few days and see what happens.

Wrt resettling, do what works - if he settles back to sleep reasonably easily when he wakes, do that rather than waiting til he's upset because he may not resettle then. There's a balance to strike though, he won't learn to put himself back to sleep if you run in straight away.

Is it possible that I could just do shush/pat for naps and then he will learn to put himself back to sleep when he wakes at night?

Yes

[AliciaS]

Thank you for your advice! I'm glad you were also able to read my other post.

That is a good point about how much A times increase. If LO only takes a 40 min nap should I still aim for 2:15 A time? I have been doing more around 1:30 A time after short naps. I may need to stop trying to increase his naps bc of needing to take care of LO1. I've been spending 40 mins patting LO2 for almost two weeks without much progress. I hate to give up, but I'm neglecting LO1. How long do most people try shush/pat?

Thanks again!!!

[becj86]

I would aim for 2hr after a short nap, just slightly less than what you're usually going for.  Spending 40min shush/patting a baby who's not going back to sleep is a bit futile at times, I'd err on the side of goving it a go for 5-10mins and if you think he'll go back to sleep, stick with it but if not,  just get him up. If he was close to being tired enough when he went down, he should resettle pretty quickly. Sounds like he's quite UT for those naps if you can pat that long and he's never going back to sleep.

[AliciaS]

Thank you!!! Lately when he wakes from one sleep cycle during his naps I've been just giving him his pacifier a few times and usually he goes back to sleep much quicker (right away or 5 mins) than when I do shush/pat. I feel like when he sees me it's harder for him to go back to sleep. I sneak in the pacifier without him seeing me that much and that seems to work better. I know that his pacifier is a prop though. His NW has improved but he still wakes up several times (3-7 times) and the pacifier puts him right back to sleep. Any more insight? Thanks again!

[becj86]

What's his EAS look like now?
When are his NWs happening and is he having any feeds at night?

[AliciaS]

Hi! I added a top off feeding before his naps bc I was advised to in the bottle feeding board.

E: 7a; wake up
A: 2:15 hrs
E: top off
S: 9:15a; wakes after 40 mins then is given pacifier then falls back asleep
E: 10:45a
A: 2:15 hrs
E: top off
S: 1p; wakes after 40 mins then is given pacifier then falls back asleep
E: 3p
A: 2 hrs
S: 5p; 40 mins
E: 5:45p
A: 1-1.5 hrs
E: 7p
S: 7:30p
E: 10:30p; df
NW: 11p-4; wakes a few times and is given pacifier prop
E: 4a
NW: 4:30-7; wakes a couple times and is given pacifier prop. This sleep is very light and he seems to be in and out of sleep but doesn't always cry when he wakes

[becj86]

I'd  say if you increase the A time to 2:30, you might get him to sleep a solid nap rather than needing the paci. Certainly it looks like he's a little UT at nap time.

WRT night wakings, the ones in the early morning following the NF are possibly gas/possibly not enough A time first thing in the morning so again, increasing that A time is likely to help there.

WRT the NWs between 10:30 and 4am... some of thos could be wind, some could be legitimate hunger. Is he getting burped following the DF? Some babies need it though some apparently are relaxed enough at that feed not to take in much air. Do the wakings get closer together before 4am? The rule of thumb around here with BF kiddos is that they should go at least as long between feeds at night as they do in the day. For your DS, it would be reasonable and normal to be feeding 3 times overnight with the DF and 2 NFs.