Are we ready for the 2:1 nap transition?

[Bcav15]

Hi all.  Need some advice on whether or not my little guy is ready for the transition down to 1 nap.  This transition gives me so much anxiety!  I just want to make sure he's ready and I'm not pushing him too soon.  He will be 13 months at the end of April.  Quick background... 

He has always struggled with naps lasting longer than 40 minutes.  Around 8 months the first nap lengthened to about 1.5 and the second nap has always been hit or miss, either 1.5 or 40 mins.  Majority of the month of February and March he was able to give me two solid naps totaling 3 hours and approximately 11 hours overnight.  Recently the second nap has gone back to 40 minutes and overnight sleep is about 10.5 hours.  Sometimes when he goes down for the night, he will pay for up to 30 minutes in his crib while before, he would out in 5 mins.  Here is his current schedule:

6:30 wake
10-11:30 nap #1
3:15-4ish nap #2 (goes in at 3 but plays, sometimes nap will go 1.5, but I feel like if he now sleeps past 4:30 it will compromise night sleep)
7:30/8 bed (depending on last nap length)

Another group I follow suggested that I cut both naps to one hour and follow 3.5/3.5/4 and max out on 11 hours before dropping to one nap.  I tried that and even with the first nap cut, he still woke at 40 from nap 2.  I struggled so much with him waking at the end of sleep cycles for so long that it feels like a sin to me to wake him!  I appreciate any input you have to offer!  Thank you

[Katet]

Honestly there is no hard and fast rules. He's not pushing his first nap later, so that's one indication that maybe 2 naps is still right. What happens if you move the first nap to 4 hours from wakeup? Because really to do 1 nap they pretty much need 5 hours A time.
Also  do you like the shorter nights (we did as DH got more time).

Most importantly it should not be making you anxious, it's often a journey of a few months (some it's an overnight change but most not) with some one nap days and some 2 nap days.

TBH follow what feels right and gives you a happy rested child rather than an ideal as long term  2-1 transition is not worth worrying about.

[Bcav15]

Thank you for your response. I did recently push his nap 5 hours after wake time bc of an appointment. He actually slept 2.5 hours and didn’t take a second nap that day so it was early to bed. He was crabby a bit the next day. I guess I should explain the anxiety part. Poor guy struggled for so long with connecting sleep cycles and finally was able to connect. I get anxious bc I hated seeing how tired he was when that happened. Just hoping if he is ready for the switch, he can still get the rest he needs with one solid nap. And I too agree that for a bit we will probably have to have a one nap day and some days a two nap day.

[Katet]

I'd say you've answered your own question with the one nap day. He can do the longer awake time and a long nap but as he's grumpy the next day he's not really ready for it as a regular thing.

I do think it's more normal than books make us believe for babies not to connect sleep cycles, Mine definitely didn't for a number of months and I know the two young babies of families at our hockey club definitely don't.