W2S/shush pat/nap extending and self settling help!

[MiniNs]

Hi - looking for advice on how to help my LO connect sleep cycles and self settle.

He is 11.5weeks old and up to about aweek ago has spent most of his little life so far very poorly. This has meant that he has been held to sleep or in a ring sling for much of his day time sleep so far. I used ssh/pat and PUPD with DS1 but sssh/pat seems to o/s DS2. He’s a very alert baby and I’m struggling to get him to WD for a nap. Likewise, he then wakes at 40/45mins and is impossible tonresettle, even trying W2S and he’ll doze for a few secs but then fully wake. I use white noise and Blackout curtains - but the room isn’t completely dark until nighttime and even the smallest bit of light and he can’t stop staring at what he can see!  Is there any kind of gentle sleep training I can do?

At the moment I am having to wait for him to fall asleep on my shoulder during WD, and thenput him down (for him to wake 45mins later) or use the sling. He won’t nap in the pushchair or the car, I think it’s too stimulating.

Any advice appreciated. Our current EASY is below:

WU/E 7:00
A: 1hr30 (sometimes only 1h15)
S: 8:30 -9:30 (this nap is always in the sling while I get housework done or do the school run-he sometimes wakes after 45mins, then dozes back off 10mins later and has another 40mins)

E: 10:00
A: 1hr30 (sometimes 1h15/20)
S: 111:00/11:30 (depending on last WU)-11:45/12:15 mostly unable to resettle  in crib so ends up being held or in the sling 12:30-13:00(I wake him for a feed)

E: 13:00
A: 1hr 30(sometimes 1h15/20)
S: 14:30-15:15 mostly unable to resettle in crib so ends up being held or in the sling. If he’s still asleep at 16:15 then I wake him for a feed 15:30-16:15

E:16:00/16:15
A: 1hour-1hr15
CN S: 17:00/17:15 (always in the sling as I’m always cooking dinner etc) sometimes he fights this nap and how long he has varies. In any case I don’t let him sleep later than 17:45.

A: bath time etc1hr 15 (probably worth mentioning that I bathDS1&2 together at 18:15ish, both out and dressed by 18:45 and then DS1 goes to bed while I go off to feed DS2. Hesnormally very unsettled at this time and cries a lot once he’s out of the bathat 18:40)
E: 18:50
S BT: 19:00

DF 22:00/22:30
NF:2:00 (sometimes another at 5:30 but this is getting less frequent)

[Katet]

It's very normal not to easily connect sleep cycles around the 3/4month old age, so mostly it's developmental.

The fact he will go back to sleep in the sling says that he is trying to sleep longer, so honestly I'd just keep doing what you are doing & maybe try to  extend out the A time a bit longer with low key activities such as a "chat together" or reading a book as that may help him being sleepy enough to get through the cycles

[MiniNs]

Thanks for your reply. DS is now 13.5weeks and we are still having the same problems.
I’ve tries altering oUr A times but still get 45mins (if I go anywhere around the 1h15-30 mark) or sometimes just 30mins (when I’ve tried 1h45).

It’s definitely a sleep cycle issue - I’ve tried w2s but he always eventually fully stirs, even ifhe lies dozing and trying to resettle for 10-15mins.

Then obviously when he’s only had 45mins, he’s yawning and rubbing his eyes half an hour later. Then I have to go through the whole thing again, kicking and screaming while I rock and then put down. Sometimes he then only naps for 15-20mins on the second time. I also have a 2.5year old at home.

I’m struggling to get through a day without him having something silly like 6 cat naps!

I’ve now completely blacked out the nursery so he has no visual distractions, but I’m also now struggling to get him to WD/settle in the first place (which never used to be a problem) - if I hold him for WD or put him in his sleeping bag, then he fights and fights. He’ll scream (quite literally) and thrash for a good 5mins and I have to rock him...then he’ll suddenly crash and fall asleep, so I put him down. I’m aware that this means he expects me to still be there when he wakes up and won’t connect sleep cycles well. I’m unsire what else to try? I’ve tried ssh/pat in his cot but he just screams (and then doesn’t calm down when held either until rocked for a long time)

Is he too young for PUPD? Although I’m not sure this would work, as like I said, he doesn’t calm down very well even when picked up.

He’s a textbook/spirited baby.

[tbryans]

Have you seen any improvement ?
My baby 9 weeks and this sounds exactly like her.
Usually when she slept on my chest is would help to get a long sleep now that is not even working.
We are getting about three hours of broken sleep total the whole day - In 20-40min cat naps. All sleep training has gone out the window. All I actually want is for her to sleep and not be miserable all day.

[MiniNs]

Hi. Yes we’ve seen some improvement but it’s not consistent! At around 4.5months he started self settling for his nap a little better, or would at least not fight and scream in my arms but would snuggle in and then I could put him down once he had dozed off. He’s now 5.5months and with an increased awake time seems to settle better in the first instance but still often catnaps for 45mins. Sometimes he’ll sleep 1.5-2hrs but I can never figure out what’s helped in this instances! I wish I could say what helped but I think he’s just in the process of growing out of it.