Desperate for some sleep - please reassure me!

[amyinlondon]

Hi,
I've just started bottle feeding after exclusively BF for 2 months and DP and I are at loggerheads as to how much food to give our son.

When I first introduced the bottle, I had no way of knowing how much Jacob took at each feed so I made up 8oz (he was 8 weeks) which I know was too much but I wanted him to have as much as he wanted so I knew how much he'd take, if you see what I mean!  Well, he scoffed the lot. So next feed I made up 8oz and he scoffed it all, so I just carried on making up 8oz feeds. 

I know its common with bottle fed babies, but Jacob started to sick up a little bit of food.  I'm not worried as I know that a lot of babies posset after meals and it seemed to be mainly dribble to me (I think he's starting to teeth) but DP became convinced that he's vomiting rather than possetting and thinks I'm overfeeding him.

I'm really conscious of making DP feel like his voice is heard so agreed to reduce Jacob's feeds to 6oz which is what it says on the tin for a 2 month old.

Problem is, Jacobs gone from sleeping from 8pm to 6am with a dreamfeed at about 11.30, to waking at 4.30 screaming for food. I see this as a direct result of reducing his intake during the day. DP disagrees.

This morning he woke at 3am but went back to sleep once I'd put the dummy in, then he woke at 4.30 and needed food. I gave him 6oz at 4.30, then another 4 (what was left of the carton) at 7am he was still desperate for food at 10.30am and took 9oz and he's now had 8oz at 2pm!

Problem is, DP thinks I'm trying to prove him wrong and I'm teaching our son to overeat and so he will end up being an obese child. But when DP is working he does nothing around the house at all, and takes no responsibility for hte care of Jacob (I'm cool with this as he works shifts and often does 60 hour weeks then has a week off, where we split childcare and housework 50:50) At the moment he's on nights so I'm left getting up a couple of times in the night to see to Jake and I'm exhausted.

Please someone tell me its not possible to overfeed a baby? Surely if Jake didn't need the food he'd just not take it.  I feel like by reducing his feeds I've gone back a step from having a baby who slept through (almost) to a baby who wakes a couple of times a night and needs a nightfeed.

My only worry is that he's still young (10 weeks) and so could be going through a growth spurt and so by overfeeding him DP is right and I AM making him ill or fat or something.

His weight gain is ok, if a little on the low side, so I dont think this is the case, but I just need a little reassurance as I've had doubts planted in my mind now!

Also, any suggestions to get him to sleep longer would be greatly appreciated - have tried hungry baby formula with no results!

Many thanks in advance

Amy x

[Mum to Ella Rose]

Hi,

First of all I don't think it's possible to overfeed a baby. They are great regulators of how much they need and yes, most babies sick a bit. Here's an average I found for you...

"The American Academy of Pediatrics, in the book Your Baby's First Year, also provides a nice guideline and suggests that 'on average, your baby should take in about 2 1/2 ounces of formula a day for every pound of body weight.' So for an average 3 month old baby boy who weighs 13 pounds, that would be about 32 1/2 ounces a day."

I just copied it from a website... and every child is different.

It is also not possible to "create" an obese child at this point. They take in what they naturally feel their bodies need.  How much does your lo weigh? How often are you feeding? My opinion is feed until until they stop. Especially if weight gain is slow. It sounds like you lo is very happy and is sleeping well which are the best clues (along with good steady weight gain) that you are feeding  exactly what he needs! 

Try to reassure your husband how well babies know their own bodies and all we can do is offer the milk. Believe me they will take it if they need it and if they don't they'll be quick to let you know!  I have a little one who was quite sick in the beginning and dropped a great deal of weight. Once her medical problems were resolved she ate and ate and ate to make up for it. She ended up being in the 95th percentile for awhile and was a large girl (9kg at 7 months) She is now evening herself out and is back to the 75th percentile weight wise and perfectly healthy.

You sound like a great mum who's in touch with her baby! 

I'm sure the other wonderful mum's here will have more advice too, but I say stick with what you're doing. Sounds great!

Sharon

[Mum to Ella Rose]

Oh and one more thing, the rule of thumb is to add calories they need during the day so it doesn't disturb their night sleep. So again sounds like you were on the right track!

Sharon