Help -- Advice. Messing this EASY stuff up!

[beans1030]

Hi there.

OK -- I'm messing everything up, so any advice would be soooo helpful.  Please give me your thoughts.   I've listed our situation below:

1) DD is 6 weeks old.  She sleeps well at night -- about 4 hours between feeds.  She eats, burps, changes the diaper and goes right back down (at least to date -- I'm probably jinxing myself by typing this   :lol: )

2) She does not do well with the "get her sleepy and put her in her crib to fall asleep herself" routine.  We've tried it and I've wound up in the room pat/shhhhh ing her until her next feed cycle (we WERE on a 3 hour feed cycle until things fell apart last week).  I admit that I've NEEDED her to sleep so much that I'm letting her fall asleep in my arms before putting her down.

3) her naps are lasting only about 45 minutes (like everyone else's it seems).  There are times wen she's awake anywhere from 4 hours to 6 hours at a time b/c I can not get her to sleep.

4) she won't take a dream feed....refuses to take the nipple and just wakes up and gets angry.

5) the only way I can get her to fall asleep is to hold her in my arm (facing upwards) -- she SCREAMS for 2 - 10 mintues then falls asleep.  I'm afraid that she's going to start associate sleep with screaming and it'll get even harder.

Our girl is breastfed, can stay awake and play for up to 2 hours playing between naps, and when she wakes up even from her short naps seems to be in a good  mood.  Does she just need less sleep?  If so, I guess my 3 hour schedule is modified to have more  active time than asleep time?

I know this is long and I'm sorry -- I just need some help b/c I'm screwing this up and getting frustrated with my baby girl, which I don't want to do.

Thanks much!!

[Jayri]

Okay first take a deep breath, remember tracey siad EASY would not necessarily be easy.
1- Go with the flow, you are still getting to know one another. Guide one another, not really leaving it all together, but allowing to see what her ques are to guide her to the routine to what you want.That makes sense right?

2-What do you do to wind her down? Have you tried to swaddle her? Is the room set up for proper sleep? Main thing is to focus on relaxing, if you are tense she is tense, hard to picture I know, but watch how she follows your various moods.

3- Any nap is good when you are starting, it took me about a month for it to have ant real affect on my dd. Don't look back, your that one step closer to where you want to be.

4-If a df doesn't work for you, no big deal, it may work in a while, it may not. If she is fine at night don't worry about it. Maybe try it again when you have your EASY routine a bit more settled. Remember that when you start, it may take a few days for her to adjust to this feed and change how she sleeps through the night.

5-snuggle her right into you. I would cradle dd in my arms on the edge of the bed, snuggled in one arm and patting with the other. She will adjust to it, you are teaching her how to sleep, so she may cry out of not knowing what is going on.

One thing I find amazing with the BW techniques is that if you are consistent and do the samethings every day it will get easier.
Don't ever think you are screwing it up, you're a mum, no one ever knows exactly what to do when they have children. Even kids manual writters don't know they learn what to write through experience.
Have you treid thee EASY forums for whatever month your dd was born in. I found the one I am on very helpful. It lets you know that you are never alone, there is always one of out here who has either done it or is going through it.
If you are on a 3hr routine, make sure you think of it as a routine, something you always so whereas a schedule sounds more like an appointment,anyway if she is on the 3 hr routine, try 1.5hrs of combined E and A time, and aim for 1.5hrs of sleep, maybe you could incorperate some of your wind down time in your A time so that way she is all stettled for her S time to start.
As you can tell I too have had and am still having issues with my EASY routine. But that is what we are here for, to help each other.

Good luck, pm me if you need a shoulder.

Take care.

[beans1030]

Naomi,

Thank you so much for your response.  It's so helpful to know taht other people are going through the same things and that my daughter is not going to be scarred for life of hate me b/c she's having a hard go of it right now.

Thanks for the advice and tips.  I will definitely put htem into place.

My husband is so frustrated at this point that he wants to try BabyWise, which I think is a horrible idea.  I have to get this to work so he will keep that horrible option off the table!!  :wink:

[beans1030]

Naomi,

I just realized I didn't answer your questions.

To wind down, I watch for her yawns and when I see the start, I take her into our bedroom (where she is staying for the time being).  I swaddle her, tell her that it's ni-night time and that I will see her soon.  I take her into my arms and sway her back and forth while her head is over my shoulder.  Most of the time this doesn't work to get her down, so I have to go to the facing up position cradled in my arms.  She cries, I shush louder and she eventually falls asleep adn I put her in her crib.

I had some success two weeks ago with having her fall asleep on my shoulder rather than the cradled position. I have a feeling if I could get her to realize it's nap time and get comfy in that position taht I would have more luck.

This we use the same routine for night time, too,though most of the time she falls asleep while I'm burping her which makes it easier to get her back to bed (again, this only happens during the night time).

Thanks

[Jayri]

Hi there, If you put her in your arms, I would use my right, hold her facing you swaddled and all, you can use the other arm to pat her. Rocking/Swaying with her is fine to calm her, but try to remeber that the aim is to teach her to put herself to sleep. So If you sit on the edge of the bed with her, you can sway with your knees and pat with your hand, all while she is snuggled into you.
With your dh, maybe you could ask him to try it out for a trial, like 6weeks maybe, remind him that you need his help too. You both have to be determined to do it.
Pat/shh is not easy by any means, or is getting you dd into a routine, but she will become acustomes to it over time.
Go with the flow, learn with your baby and dh, do this is a family.
I love this program for babies, I had never heard of BW with my ds, but I had heard of it with dd, so I bought the new book. If you don't have it, it is well worth the buy, you can use it as you go looking back on it when you need a little guidence.
Keep going with it, there are LOTS of forums for you to use if you need help, definitly check out the EASY and pu/pd forums, you never know, there maybe a post on there similar to what you are going through.
Take Care Hun, HTH
Keep us all posted on your progress.
Just remember, we are here for you, and have all gone through it or something similar.
BTW, just wondering where you are from, you never know, you may have other BW around you.