How much involvement?

[catty47]

I am a bit confused about what to do when PU/PD works in general but Isla is still waking up once in the night.  Sometimes I go in and she just needs to be turned on her side, maybe grizzles a bit, and then she goes off.  Other times it's full on PU/PD.  Other times we have full-on PU/PD, then she starts awake and then plays for 10 minutes before getting grumpy again and off we go with the PU/PD.

She is just 6 months, and more or less knows how to nap and bedtime independently.  Sometimes she goes down with no fuss, other times she has to grizzle a bit.   Sometimes we still have big PU/PD in the daytime.  I am cutting the night feed and she is now eating much better in the day.  We still do the dream feed.

Should I just leave her when she wakes in the night?  Should I wait for her to really start the full cry before doing PU/PD?  Sometimes I feel that she is almost pleased by my being there and cries more, or smiles etc.  I'm not at all sure what involvement I should have.  If I sit by the cot, she seems not to know that I'm there and I see her looking towards the door.

I fear I'm being inconsistent, because she is being inconsistent in her behaviours in the night, so I try to adjust, but maybe do things differently each time.

Any tips on how to deal with this agegroup and this issue?

[sara_derek]

When she wakes at night, do you wait a few minutes to see if she can go back to sleep by herself?  Sometimes if you go in too early and they are in light sleep, they can go back off by themselves but are disrupted by our well meaning intentions.  I would definitely NOT leave her to cry - that goes completely against Tracy's methods and really breaks trust between mother and child.  If she wakes fully and is not crying (moaning, whining is ok), leave her.  If she wakes fully and is crying, do pu/pd until she can go off by herself.  Be very consistent with what you choose though and she will respond!  Is she teething?  This ages is famous for that and if she's waking and crying, she might be in pain, so watch her closely.  You don't want to do pu/pd when she is in pain - it will frustrate her even more.

Good luck!

[catty47]

Okay thanks for that.

The other thing I have noticed recently is - I have often got her to drop off but she is bouncing awake after a few minutes...last night this happened so many times I was beside myself and it's making me so frustrated I had to leave the room and go and bite a pillow!  Not very constructive I'm sure and I bet she picks up on my anger, even though I try really hard not to show it in my voice.  It makes me feel very helpless!

Is this a sleep cycle thing, which has become an obstacle, or might that be a true signal that she is hungry/in pain etc?  It's not as if she has only just learned how to go to sleep; really she's quite a pro now - I've just put her down for a nap for example and she whinged a bit but then dropped off.  And she had in these times actually settled for sleep, so she has shown she can do it.

It's possible she's teething - although her gums are showing no sign of it at the moment, and I don't want to give her calpol or anything unless I know for sure.  Also, would teething pain only happen at night?  She is her cheerful self in the day - haven't noticed any irritation or grumbling.  She saves it all up for night time!

[Katet]

6months old is a growth spurt & it can be a funny one that comes & goes on off for a week or 2, so not a good time to be dropping a feed. My thought is if she settles off & wakes again, it could well be a hunger issue.

[catty47]

Okay - maybe I'll just have to live with that for a few days and see - specially since she now has a cold so no sleep training!

Last night I tried Tracey's idea of not talking much in the night wakings, and just having physical presence.  Still did PU/PD but no talking. Terrible night last night - 3 wakings from 2.30 onwards, but she did at least settle more easily each time (there's a good example of lookng for the positives!)

It's funny with the hunger thing, because she never glugs down a boobful in the morning - which is what makes me think it's not hunger.  Unless she's now more interested in the solids than the milk?  She always has a good breakfast.

I have noticed two nights in a row she has woken at 2.30 so maybe that is her habitual waking, and now she is more mobile she's in daft positions too which may be waking her... 

Questions....

Perhaps I should do wake to sleep? 
And if so - do I fully wake her, even though it will mean another PU/PD battle to get her back down again? 
And do I go through a bedtime routine, or just wake her in the cot and then try to get her to go back down again?
One other question - should I, if she is perhaps hungry wake her at 2am and feed her, then put her to bed. 
Or is this forming a bad eating habit?

It seems to me 6 months is a tricky time for sleepers!