Thanks for the advice Georgia. Since my last posting a few things have changed. An earlier bedtime (7 pm) and no solids in the evenings right now. I came to the conclusion that she's not used to all the solids yet - and at short of 6 months, I don't need to rush it.
So I now bf at waking (usually 7ish) then offer whatever ceral and fruit she'll eat an hour later. Bf after her first nap (anywhere from 3-4 hours), and so on. I am not strict about every 3 or 4 hours. I let her guide me, and that's working a bit better. A few weeks ago I was toruturing both of us by making her wait 4-hours due to the advice of some well-meaning friends, but I think it's not working for us. She does not seem to take any more milk when super hungry (she's eadily distracted, even in a quiet room!)
So, I am giving this new pattern about a week, so I can see where the problem is. Then I think I will tackle the night routine. I think first I'll start with a 5-hour stretch at night with no food, and work my way toward longer (my thinking is that baby can go at least an hour longer at night than during the day between feedings - so I've read). Wish me luck!