When's the best age to start sleep training? (Long!)

[Mom2katiebug]

We've been using a 3 hour EASY plan with our 5.5 WO daughter and have a pretty good routine for eating and activity.  However, we must confess to a wide variety of accidental parenting sins when it comes to sleeping.  I know that we need to tackle this before too long, but I have a few questions:

1.  What is the best age to start this?  I know that Tracey says start as you mean to go, so that implies Day #1.  But our DD is so cuddly and rocking her to sleep just feels good and taking a nap with her during the day is a guilty pleasure!  I know she'll grow up quickly and be an active toddler and I don't want to look back and wish I had cuddled her more during these days.  Plus, it sounds like sleep patterns/habits are erratic at best in the early weeks and settle down around the 3 month mark.  If so, shouldn't we wait until closer to the 3 month mark? 

2.  Have read a theory that babies should sleep somewhere other than their crib during the day to distinguish between daytime sleep and nighttime sleep.  Anyone else heard of this?  Any thoughts?  If you agree, when do you stop having two places to sleep?

3.  Do you use the same routine for naps and nighttime?  I would guess not since nighttime usually has bathtime and a story where nap routines would be quicker.  Any sample routines?

4.  Do you find it easier to share the sleep training with another (like DH)?  My DH is an absolute dream (all my girlfriends are jealous), however I'm concerned about consistency.  He's all for easier sleep, but I'm not entirely convinced that he will do everything the same every single time.  Plus, even the way he cradles and rocks her is different than how I do it. Will my LO notice the subtle differences?

5.  How do you balance the sleep training and pat/shh with the LO's need to sleep?  Part of our accidental parenting stems from our LO being overtired and we know she just needs to sleep - however we can get her down.  So, if she loses 30-60 minutes of each nap/nightime sleep, doesn't this start the overtired cycle?  Do you set a time limit on pat/shh (say 30 minutes) and then go back to rocking her and try again at the next nap?

6.  We'll be having family here for the holidays and our LO will be the center of everyone's attention.  I can envision a ton of holding/rocking to sleep, naps on aunties, etc.  Should I even try this before the holidays?

Gotta go!  Time for my dear LO to eat.  Thanks for all of the thoughts.  I know we really need to tackle this, but before I do, I wanted to get as prepared as possible!

[ngoest]

I can give u advice on a few of those things!!
My son is now 8mths, I use to rock him into a real drowsy state and lay down with him for naps until he was about 6mths old, which is when I started sleep training him on putting himself to sleep without any winddown routine. Since about 7mths he now takes all of his naps in his cot. He can also be put down in his cot completly awake and will put himself to sleep in say about 5-20mins depending on his mood. He doesn't cry at all. I must confess though a big help in that department is his Leapfrog dreamscape soother he can turn it on and off by himself and thatz what he falls alseep to.

I did all the sleep training on my own as I knew how I wanted it done.

He has the same routine for all naps and bedtime.

Bottle, then sleeping bag, soother and paci.
Bath/ bottle sleeping bag soother and paci for nighttime.

As for the pat shhhhhhhhh when I first started that kinda sleep training which was from 6wks old I would go for about 1hr of trying and then do his wake time for about 5mins and try again. It does get better, and if u use Traceys sleep training u will like my son have a wonderful sleeper. HTH

Nat

[Mom2katiebug]

How long did it take for your son to get to this stage?  I'm trying to get DH on board and am asking him for a week of help with this (but still not entirely convinced that he and I will be consistent).  Am also worried about the holidays...would you start before the houseguest come or just wait until January?

[AngelFarrell]

Hi, from experience I can definately recommend getting your man to help. Aside from giving you a much needed break, your LO needs to learn to be put down by someone other than you. Otherwise you may have problems later on. If you are worried about him doing things differently, have a good chat about what to do, in what order and why. Having a special routine before bed and naps is so important, that way your LO comes to know whats happening, and that its time for sleep. A good bedtime routine may be: bath, massage, story & cuddles, feed, then bed (all taking between 20-30 mins). A good nap routine should be shorter, so may just be a couple of those things, e.g. walk quietly with bub for 5-10mins, story & cuddles, into bed. Important to make sure your LO is still awake when you put her into cot. I have given up shush/pat as it was driving me nuts and didnt seem to help much. Rather, i now sit in a chair beside the cot, stroking his face and head if he's crying (i stop once he stops crying), and calmly repeating his sleep phrase, "Sleepy time Sam, Sleepy time". This really works. It may take a bit of crying for the first few days, but this gets less and less. It now takes around 5 mins and he's asleep. This is great because it is teaching him to self-soothe, and has also meant long sleeps. I would begin now, dont wait till after your visiters have been and gone. This really works, and if you are consistant, your LO should be sleeping great before the visitors arrive. Good luck

[AngelFarrell]

Hi, from experience I can definately recommend getting your man to help. Aside from giving you a much needed break, your LO needs to learn to be put down by someone other than you. Otherwise you may have problems later on. If you are worried about him doing things differently, have a good chat about what to do, in what order and why.
Also, write down the order of things for him to stress the importance of being consistant for your LO.
Having a special routine before bed and naps is so important, that way your LO comes to know whats happening, and that its time for sleep. A good bedtime routine may be: bath, massage, story & cuddles, feed, then bed (all taking between 20-30 mins). A good nap routine should be shorter, so may just be a couple of those things, e.g. walk quietly with bub for 5-10mins, story & cuddles, into bed. I suggest getting your LO to sleep in the same plce for all sleeps, this way she will associate it with sleep. The way they differenciate between day & night is that during the day some awake time is encouraged, during the night you keep your activites to the bare minimum in dim lighting. Its important to make sure your LO is still awake when you put her into cot. I have given up shush/pat as it was driving me nuts and didnt seem to help much. Rather, i now sit in a chair beside the cot, stroking his face and head if he's crying (i stop once he stops crying), and calmly repeating his sleep phrase, "Sleepy time Sam, Sleepy time". This really works. It may take a bit of crying for the first few days, but this gets less and less. It now takes around 5 mins and he's asleep. This is great because it is teaching him to self-soothe, and has also meant long sleeps. I would begin now, dont wait till after your visiters have been and gone. This really works, and if you are consistant, your LO should be sleeping great before the visitors arrive. Good luck