Almost 9 mo. old nightwakings and pu/pd

[kate585]

WARNING:  Pity Party Ahead!
I am totally out of steam over here, ladies.  Ryan, my angel/textbook baby is usually the best little sleeper for naps and night.  I can pretty much put him down, he'll roll over and go to sleep after a cuddle with his elephant.  We do have a wind-down, more for bedtime than for naps, though.

This week (or maybe 2?), we've been having trouble with nightwakings and I had been nursing to calm and then Ryan will go off to sleep on his own.  I knew it was AP, but hoped it was just teething and we'd get over it with the tooth popping up.  (Still no teeth yet!)  Well, I decided last night that it was enough.  I actually fed at 12:30 and when he woke at 1, I decided he couldn't be hungry again.  Did pu/pd for an HOUR.  Ugggh.  Dh was there to talk to him and I was the putter downer.  Exhausing.  Couldn't go back to sleep.  Finally did and he woke back up at 3.  Pu/pd by myself (dh didn't hear him and I wanted to try alone) for about 7 mins.  Hooray!    But, Ryan is up again at 4:10.  Pu/Pd for another HOUR.  Dh is really starting to question it at this point. Ryan then slept from 5:10 or so until 8:30.  Yeah!  What a night. 

Then, today...first nap, great (90 min.)  2nd nap...another HOUR of pu/pd.   :cry:   Dh has really lost interest in this method at this point..."It obviously doesn't work."  I'm trying to stay calm and tell him thanks for helping, I'll finish on my own, which I do.  (He is at 30 mins. now, which is all I go out of yesterday's nap # 2..keep your fingers crossed!) 

It is so exhausing (especially on little to no quality sleep) but I know it will work and that it won't work in one or two nights. 

 :?:   Any suggestions for how to get dh on board...he read the section of the book for 8-12 mo. olds for pu/pd, but I think he needs to read the whole chapter to get a better idea.  He is sort of like, "If he's going to SCREAM  and cry, we might as well just leave him to it."  But, aside from the fact that we don't do it like that, he can pull himself up now and it's hard to let him fuss it out at the beg. of nap while he is standing  up...can't get down yet.   :roll:

 :?: There is a 9 mo. growth spurt, according to BWSAYP, so could that be it?  And, if so, should I be feeding him?  Ugggh!

 :?:   This has been going on since Monday and we are seeing some signs of teething, but no actualy teeth...could that really be the issue? 

 :?:   Is this a common occurence at this age?  Words of encouragement?

TIA, ladies!!!  Btw, Dh is really THE BEST DADDY around and I don't mean to get down on him or give the impression he's a jerk (but I sort of feel like that right now.    )  It's just so hard for us to see our usually happy baby so upset!

[franniesmith78]

I don't know what to tell you except that my baby is doing the same thing.   She too is nearly 9 months and the past two weeks have been horrible.  She is up every hour.  If I give in and feed her she is up again with in 2 hours.  She is so exhuasted and so am I.  I have tried everything.  I really hope someone reads these and gives us both some relief.  I literally think I am lossing my mind due to sleep deprivation.

[kate585]

Well, last night was SOOOOOO much better!  It took him an hour to get to sleep with pu/pd, but then...HE SLEPT THROUGH!!!  Consistency is the key, as some of my other friends on this site told me.  I haven't given in to feed since the first waking on Fri. night and it has started to sink in with Ryan, I think. 

Although he did need about 15 minutes of pu/pd for his first nap ( :?  never had a problem with that one before), I was so much more rested that it was not a problem.

A few more questions:
 :?:   If he is not crying, but just continually standing up, do I do pu/pd or does he need to be crying?  He needs help getting down so if I leave him to it, he'll stand for a few minutes and then cry.  It seems much smarter (not to mention much easier to endure) to just carry on with the pu/pd even without the tears. 

 :?:   It takes him a LONG time to stand up and he seems to get tired while on his knees (rests his head on the crib slats to take a break  ).  Do I still wait for him to stand all the way up?

Thanks again!  Just writing this email yesterday seemed to take some of the pressure off.

[Mariposa]

Hey ladies,

I hear your frustration.  My husband is also the BEST daddy, but is definitely not into understanding baby language or using Tracey's ideas.  So I too have been doing it alone (especially at night).  Lili is now 10 months and I can say that the last 2 months have been the roughest.  I too have the question of how much teething changes things and what to do for it.  I can HAPPILY say    that it's getting better. 

Lili had been up every hour of the night for a long time.  I know it started with the teething, and I would nurse her too to get her back to sleep.  Same scenario, she would be back up again in less than an hour.  It did help sometimes when I made sure to give her a nice big dinner and even something heavy right before bed (cereal or something). 

Also, I stopped doing pu/pd and changed to only pd becuase she would stand up and cry, wait for me to pick her up and then go immediately back to sleep.  So now we just do PD.  I noticed that she responds much better to PD in the middle of the night if she has had a good schedule during the day and I was consistent with PD all day.  If we went out to run errands or play date, missing a nap or something, the night doesn't go as well.  So like you said...consistency is the key.

Also, I definitely agree to start pd without tears.  For Lili, if she's not already upset and crying, she relaxes quicker and stays calm better.  Now, if she even starts to pick her head up, I gently lay it back down, continuing until she gives up.  So she's really getting the point that she doesn't have to stand all the way up before she gets my attention.  I don't make eye contact either, as that can get her more excited.

Also, if she is really upset and yelling, instead of picking her up, I do SHHH really loud, as loud as I can and usually that will stop her yelling and then I soften the shhhh and stroke her hair if she's laying on her back or sometimes roll her over to her tummy and do shhhh/pat.

Good luck tonight.  I've had all of 3 good nights recently, so I'm just coming out of this phase (fingers crossed!).

Chao