bedtimes horrendous.....screams and screams

[kirsty_167]

Please once again im looking for advice.Jakob is 5 months next week and has in the last 4 nights begun anightly dramas at bedtime.It takes up to and 2 hours to get him to sleep.he has done this before but he has just talked for 2 hours,now he screams.I go in every 10 mins and resettle him but nothing works.The only thing that has is climbing into his cot and patting him and holding him down gently to stop his legs doing judo workouts!!! This works within 10 mins....but that was tonight and after 1 1/2 hours of screaming on and off and me going in every 10 mins...understand i was at my wits end......

He has a good routine at bedtime and nothing has changed.The last 4 weeks we had terrible naps and good bedtimes but now its swapped over!! Naps are good and bedtimes are horrendous!! This is the first time in 4 months we have had a problem at bedtime.(lucky in that way i guess)

Can anyone tell me how they coped if they went through this...what did you do??? Did you go in every 10mins or so like i have?What did you do when you went in??if yu dint do this what did you do???

I am lost as to where i am going wrong.I would appreciate any help,tips and other mums stories if they too are going through this/have been through this.I am distressed as i have virtually no wind down time of my own at night to relax.Im too stressed and with jakob most of it.

Thanks
kirsty (again!!)   :cry:
 
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[Katw]

Hi,

Poor you! I know what's its like as Alana started to do the same at around 5 months! We had this every night for a month and I was nearly in tears every night!
Like your LO she was fine for naps but it was just bedtime. In the end I changed her bedtime routine slightly. I gave her her bath at 5.30pm and then got her ready for bed and we came downstairs for quiet time. Then at 6.40pm we went upstairs for bottle and bed. (Previously we had done bath, bottle , bed straight away)
Anyway that night she was straight to sleep as soon as I laid her down at 6.50pm! I couldn't believe it!

We are still doing this now and its better but she rarely goes straight down , normally winges for between 15-30mins and we have to do re-swaddles etc and eventually she'll go to sleep. I can't believe the bath made such a difference, I guess it was just totally over-stimulating her!

Anyway I don't know if this is any help but you are not alone!!
AS for your wind-down, once your LO is finally asleep, pour yourself a massive glass of wine - That's what I do................

[kirsty_167]

Just wondering if anyone can help........still need advice please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KellyC]

Hi Kirsty

First of all big {{{{HUGS}}}}.

Have you tried PU/PD rather than the controlled crying approach you're using?  If Zander's crying like he's not going to settle himself I pick him up and tell him he's just frustrated because he can't sleep and that mummy's here to help him and it's only sleep etc etc.  If he settles when I'm holding him (he doesn't very often) or he starts arching his back and fighting against me or after a minute or two if neither of these happen I tell him I'm going to put him back down and lay him down again.  When I lay him down I either keep talking to him or do a bit of shushing.  Sometimes I pat his back too and other times I just put some pressure on him and/or cover his eyes.  He's used to this now and only usually needs picking up once then when I put him down he stops crying and goes to sleep.  I just wondered whether Jakob may need you to stay with him - 10 minutes is a long time for him to be crying (and for you to be listening!).  This is what worked for us, feel free to email me again even if it's only for support.

Good luck

Kelly x

[Gigismom]

my dd did the same thing at that age for no apparent reason.  i cannot give you any advice because nothing i did worked either.  one night she was screaming so hard i thought she was having a seizure she was shaking so bad.      but then all of a sudden she just stopped doing it and going to bed nicely like nothing ever happened...and we haven't had problems since.

 maybe though you could try checking on him every 3-5 mins instead of every 10 mins so he doesn't get so worked up.  we didn't use pu/pd because it made gianna even more mad, but i found that just checking on her more frequently helped her not get SOOO angry.

[kirsty_167]

hi and thank you for the responses.....pu/pd doesnt work for jakob either hegets more upset.I will try going in every 5 mins maybe and see how we go.i agree 10mins is a long time but 4/5 of those minutes were just grizzling not screaming.

Last night was better.I gave him matime after his bath instead of a bottle straight away and this seemed to help him ....not sure how it will go tonight as he only had a short lunch sleep (1hour).........

Will keep u posted!!!!
kirsty

[charleesmom]

Well, babies can drive us a little nuts sometimes.
Okay so I had a little trouble with my LO at about 4 months.
After a week of going in an out every 5 / 10 /15 / 20 minutes to pat and shhhh her and nothing working - I did what worked for US!

First thing is I make sure to get her ready for bed WAY before it is time to go to bed.  With this she new it was getting close and bedtime is near.  Her final feeding is about 2 hours before she goes to bed.  (Although back in the day she had her final feeding at bed time and that was a DREAM!!!  Eat and right to sleep.  I miss those days.  )

So, she get's her final feeding at 6:00 pm then gets a Clean Diaper and changes into her pj's.  I normally will clean her up a bit but I wont give her a bath at this time.  It seemed a bath didn't hlep her go to bed as much as it got her really worked up - to much fun maybe.  At night when it is time for her to go to bed (she gives me signs like rubbing her eyes getting cranky and such) I first walk her around the house saying goodnight to everything (daddy, animals, toys) and turning off all the lights.  I think she believes everything is going to bed with her (at least that is what I think she is thinking).  We then go in my room and lay in bed for a few minutes.  I don't sing / I don't talk / I don't rock.  We just lay in the dark.  I normally will hold one of her hands so she knows I am there.  I cover her with the blanket as well as myself and say goodnight.  After maybe 5 mintues she is gone.  Then I let her stay there until me and my husband are actually ready for bed and then we move her to her crib.  She sleeps like an angel all night.  And it doesn't take me hours anymore to get her to sleep.

I know that cuddling in our bed is NOT recommended.  But it works and so I feel do what works.  She doesn't sleep in our bed all night just for a short while to get her to sleep.
Pat & Shhh never worked for us.

Good luck and do what works for you and you LO.
That is what is best.   :wink:

[kirsty_167]

Thanks for the advice Charlies mum......i totally agree...do whats best for you!!! I will definety do that when i find what works!!!!! I will keep trying to find that magic something!!!!

Thank you for your advice and support!!!!!!!!!
kirsty