Bedtime Battles and the Swaddle!!!

[Katw]

Hi, wondering if anyone can help me??.....

From about 5mths we have been battling bedtimes. Naps generally no probs , will put herself to sleep fairly quickly( on some days is starting to refuse the 1st nap but think its an age thing!!)

About a month ago I started to do the bath earlier and have quiet time before going upstairs for bottle and bed. This worked well for about a week before things started to go downhill again. Its not as bad as previously and tonight only took 15mins and 2 re-swaddles but I'm wondering if we're making it worse doing this and if she will ever learn to sleep without her swaddle - her hands are still a total nightmare!!!!

DD has been swaddled since 5weeks old and seems addicted to re-swaddles before she will eventually go to sleep. Most times she has either got her arm out or pulled it up near her face but generally she moans and moans with bursts of cries until I re-swaddle, this then carries on until eventually she thinks ' ok thanks for the re-swaddles, I'll go to sleep now' and I put her down , walk out and she's sound asleep.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this and has any advice of how I can get around this - or whether I just need to ride it out and it will sort itself out. I also cannot ever see losing the swaddle as if an arm comes anywhere near her face then she can't sleep.

However one good thing - we dropped the DF last week and for the past 3 nts she has gone through until 7am and she has her hands by the morning - so I'm assuming she must be sleeping some of the night with them out, so maybe its a case of keep going and one day she'll learn!

Sorry this is such a long post but just trying to pick some experienced brains out there!!!!

Thanks so much .....

[Liz R]

oh my, the swaddle was a huge issue for us too. it seemed like "can't sleep with it can't sleep without it." We eventually got so sick of re swaddling 4 or 5 times a night, we lost the swadlle by putting him in a gro bag, with his arms swaddled, and a folded sheet over his legs, then zipped his arms in the gro bag, and lost the sheet on his legs.
Then after a while he worked his arms out of the holes, but even then I had to hold his arms down until he calmed enough to be left. It took close to a month(see my other posts) but I'm glad we did it as he seems much happier, and its lovely to see him sleeping like a starfish.
Plus at least I won't have to pop out to swaddle him when he leaves home! :lol:
Liz

[Katw]

Hi Liz,

Thanks for your reply! We tried the swaddling and putting in her grobag but she manages to get her hands up through the neck part and nearly strangle herself! Because her swaddle is up to her neck when she pulls her hands they go upwards and out the neck rather than out the side arm holes - not quite sure how to get around that one......!!

Once you got your Lo asleep did he manage to go through the 40mins? Or did he keep waking? On the times she does manage to go to sleep with an arm out she can never get though that 40min mark and I have to re-swaddle to put her back to sleep, so kind of defeats the object. This is only ever naps, at night her arms have to be in.

I'm wondering whether we should be brave and go cold turkey or whether to just carry on as we are and hope she'll eventually want to lose it herself??

Thanks alot

[Liz R]

The only thing that got jake past the 40 min naps was not related to his swaddle.It happened when he was 4 months and I put him on th 4 hour easy, It worked almost like a charm.
With the swaddle I found his sleep was all over the place, it took much longer to settle, but eventually it became better thatn before, as he wasn't fighting.
Use you gut instinct re the swaddle, if you take her out and it becomes worse than having to re swaddle in the night... put her back in! But if you don't try you won't know for sure?
I wish the BW had been able to give us direct advice on how to stop swaddling, it just a "stop swaddling when they find their hands" I wish it was as easy as that! :lol:

[Liz R]

I just remembered something else!
After he was out of the swaddle for a couple of days,I went in during a nap and found he'd rolled onto his tummy,(which panicked me at first!) but it turns out he likes sleeping on his tummy/side, which I think helped his sleep, to change positions. Obviously if he'd still been swaddled, we'd have not known that!
Liz

[dhaksha1979]

Hi

Everytime I swaddle my 3 month old she has a fit and tries her best to get out!  She fights and fights.  When I try to shush/pat she cries even louder      Any suggestions?  I only started swaddling just before 3 months.  As you know they say don't swaddle due to cot death that's why i avoided it.

Thanks
Dee

[ks6]

At 3 1/2 months, my husband decided not to swaddle the baby's arms, as he seemed to fight the swaddle every night.  He also cried every night before going to sleep.  As soon as we left his arms out, he has been going to bed at night without a peep!  :shock:  He's 6 months old now.  No more swaddle, and naps are still a problem.

[thitz]

Hello, we swaddled till about 6.5 months.  I started swaddling with one arm out for several months.  She would suck on the thumb of whichever arm was left out.  Then the other arm she would squirm around so that it (still swaddled) would be over her face.  When we stopped swaddling, i just wrapped the corner of her blanket around one arm so that she could snuggle it to her face and we had no problem getting rid of the swaddle.

[Katw]

Hi ,

Thanks for all your input!!

The problem we seem to have is that she cannot stand to have her hands anywhere near her face and if they are she can't suck them to put herself to sleep - they annoy her and eventually she'll start crying and we'll have to re-swaddle with them down by her side.

I just can't see a way to get around this! Everyone seems to say their babies liked being able to suck their hands but not mine!!!

I feel like I want to leave her to 'learn' her hands but I'm too scared she'll lose out on too much sleep in the process! At the moment naps are so inconsistant its not true so I'm reluctant to not swaddle as we're down to 1.5hrs sleep total on some days and its just not enough!!

If anyone else had a baby who really couldn't sleep with their hands out - please let me know how you got around this!!

Thanks so much.

Just had an example so thought i'd add it in!

DD just woke crying after 40mins. I counted to 100 but still crying so went in. She didn't have an arm out so I picked her up, she calmed down so I put her down and went out. 2 mins later she's crying again, went in and her hand was out. So I picked her up, re-swaddled and put her straight back into bed. She went straight back to sleep.

So am I making things worse by doing this, or not???........

[thitz]

I agree with you.  I'd say she's got to learn to have her hands out especially by her age.  You'll probably have a few rough days but then you should be good.  I would put her to bed with one hand out and not reswaddle it anymore.