what to do for A time I feel like a bad mother!!!

[crazycanuck]

Hi There,

I struggle with keeping my son amused during activity time....I don't know what to do other than move him from toy to toy or in his swing for some quiet time...the only things he seems to like are his playmat and Baby Einstein Videos....I odn't like playing them to him too much but they actually seem to catch his attention.....he doesn't even jump around in his jumper that much.....he doesn't make much for noises......he doen't even stay up that long for A time for his age.......Does anyone else have this issue....?  I try to play with him and read to him etc., but he get's fussy.....and I too am fighting the tummy time monster.....DS is almost 5 months and for a little while he seemed to want to roll but he seems tohave no interes....he was rolling half way.....I am concerned now as he hasn't had allot of tummi time........we are trying to remedy this now (he is a bad spitter so if he's eaten at least 45min to 1hr no tummy time as he barfs always!!  This is why I think we just didn't do it much.....anyhow......i know I am rambling here so I'll end by saying Am I a bad mother for letting my DS watch baby einstein everyday??  (like usually 15mins max) 
Oh and I wanted to say I  find him still limited cause he can't roll sit up or anythign yet

[Lee-Stuart-Joshy]

Of course you're not a bad mother!!!  How old is your baby?  Mine is 5 months and he loves the TV.  It keeps his attention.  Sure i play with him, show him books, sing and talk to him but he is only amused for a short time whereas the TV jumps and flicks with so many colours he just stares at it.
People say i allow Josh too much Tv time but he is 5 months old.  He is learning and developing fine, but at the moment he is far too young for a good old novel!!?!  And far too young to say no do not watch it.  Why should i have him crying because he is bored when the TV can stimulate him so much. 
Especially if you balance it really well.  Share A time with TV (general), TV (kids), books, songs, silly games, toys, walks and he will be just fine!  And so will you you great Mum you! 

[Sarah O]

Hi there!

I can totally relate.  We are NOT bad mothers!!  Doesn't it make you wonder what they did in the pioneer days?  I mean, those mothers were hauling water from wells, tilling the fields, handwashing all the laundry...what were their babies up to during all this time??  They certainly weren't making the rounds from the exersaucer to the jolly jumper... 

My DD rolls and loves tummy time but my DS just goes to his side and kind of reaches up with his arms for objects while in this position -  no interest in tummy time. 

In terms of activity suggestions...we started a playgroup today where we learn finger games/songs.  If you're up for something like that it breaks the day up for you and for your LO.

Sarah

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Hi, I don't think there's anything wrong with watching a BE for 15mins a day - my dd does too.  However, just be aware that there are studies out there that discourage any TV for under 2yr olds - it's not because of the scary images etc, but more the fast paced, jerky, screen changes that could be attributed with the way the brain connects and the ability to concentrate and focus on what's going on.  The American Academy of Paediatrics also have this warning.  I'm not  posting this to cause a debate (we've been there done that in the past  :wink: ) - and there will always be studies going either direction - just saying that there is some information why it may not be a good idea and for you to make up your own mind for your child. 

As far as what you can do, at his age he's bordering on some big developmental leaps with learning to roll, gearing up for crawling, being more aware of his world etc - so it can be frustrating and tiring learning all those skills.  I don't believe you need to sit down and play with him all day to entertain him, but definitely change his environment and toys.  Just lying in the same room where you're doing chores and him watching you may be entertaining enough, talking to him about what you're doing etc.  They like different textures, so if you have a variety of ribbons, fluffy things, etc you can run them over his face, let him play with them.  I used to do action songs with my kids like wheels on the bus and move their arms. 

HTH

[Glynis]

Samuel is 5 months old, as well.  The tv catches his eye & once in awhile I put on B Ein for him.  I don't think it will make him a couch potato, but I have heard of it being bad for wee ones, as well.
As far as playing, I try to give Samuel a variety of what he does & where he is.  He lays on his play mat & bats at the toys or I give him some to hold/chew on.  He sits in his chair & we play patty cake (I do it) or he watches people.  He goes in his exersaucer.  If I'm doing chores, I usually sing "this is the way we...".  Sometimes I just carry him around & point out diff things in the house.  He loves looking in the mirror.  We do head & shoulders, we do itsy bitsy spider.  Sometimes we go on my bed & roll around & be silly.  I put him on my feet & play 'horsey'.  We make faces/noises at each other.  I think where I think it's the same old thing & seems boring, it's good for him as routine means comfort. 
I'd love to hear ideas from others.

[vmcdonald28]

my ds is 10 months old, and he watches tv regularly, whether we want him to or not! If the TV is on, certain things will catch his attention.
Better to put on something that you know is stimulating him, than just letting him watch anything!

[RyansMum]

Well I guess I am a 'bad mother' too cos my lo has Baby Einstein as part of his bedtime routine and really loves them!  He has a different one for each day of the week so that he is learning lots of objects colours etc and I feel that can only be good.  I also pop him in his gym and turn on the pre school channel in the morning for up to half hour while I do a bit of tidy/have breakfast.  He is completely happy.  I then have 3 groups we go to during the week, and the rest of the time when we are home we play with toys, talk, cuddle, read and massage.  But it is hard to keep them and yourself amused!!

There will always be some new research or study which just makes us all more paranoid about our children and our ability to make judgement calls.  There is too much information nowadays and too much contradiction so I wouldn't beat yourself up about using them, they are educational as far as I am concerned.

Hugs

[kate585]

I found A time for this age to be so difficult.  In fact, I posted a similar question about 5 months ago.     We came up with a list of fun things to do and Nikki mentioned a lot of them.  Ryan loved touching the shower curtain?  Not sure why, but it was fun for him to see the shadows, I think.  We danced and sang a lot and moved him from room to room to keep the boredom from setting in. 
While I agree that watching TV is not bad (and soooo doesn't make anyone a bad mum!), I try to limit Ryan's exposure to it as much as possible.  He'll see enough of it as he gets older, that I don't want to make it a habit now.  Also, since he doesn't get to watch it that often, it is so exciting when he does get to see it and it really does the trick when he's having a bad day.  Like I said, don't feel bad about whatever decision you make about TV.  You know your own baby and what he can handle.
Good luck keeping him entertained and watch out for the next few exciting months.  So many changes you'll be laughing about trying to keep him entertained instead of contained! 

[Rooster]

I to struggle with Activity time. My daughter is 4 months old and I play with when is awake, but it's hard to keep them entertained. I read to her/sing/play with her on her activitiy gym/shake rattles/do tummy time...but if she is awake for 2 hours - I find it hard to find things to amuse her - I can't wait until she is more interactive - I know enjoy every stage -

I have joined some mother play groups with her - Mother Goose - Tuesdays - Mother Workshop - Wednesday/Thursday - Yoga on Friday - I find that being involved in the groups helps break up the day - I play with her in the morning since the groups are in the afternoon -  I feel bad and worry that I am hindering her developing by being involved in different groups, but I struggled with the Activity Time...I find it hard....

I don't think anyone is a bad mother - I think by reading everyone's post, everyone is doing a good job and you have to do what is right for you and the baby.

I would love to hear some replies to what I wrote especially about me worrying about hindering her development by being involved in other groups.

[kate585]

Teresa, I don't think you're too involved, as long as your lo has enough sleep during the day.  Is she taking good naps?  Ryan was nowhere near 2 hours of A time at 4 months and I still struggled with only an hour or so. Do whatever works for you to have a thriving happy baby!!!

[alex and danny]

I too have struggled with A time.... from some of my Early Childhood Education trainning and learning from firends, I know that it is OK to just observe them from time to time.... it is not necessary to interact all of the time.  They will let you know when they want you to say or do something.  You could also put them on a mat and place different objects around and see what they gravitate to.  A friend of mine used to make a weekly box for her daughter, where she would put different toys and safe household items and let her either dump the box, look through it.... her aim was to let her lo pick what she wanted and explore.  HTH   

[1sttime]

I have a 4 month old and by the end of the day I often feel like I've run out of things to do for activity time. One thing that has helped me is giving him plenty of independent play time. I keep him in the room with me while I'm doing chores and put toys around him. He's usually happy with that for about 15mins or so. I want him to be able to play independently later so I'm trying to foster this now. At first he wasn't too happy about it, but now I often see him smiling and laughing at his toys and then he eventually lets me know he's ready for me to play. It's nice to see that he doesn't need me to constantly stimulate him. He also stays up longer with some alone time.

[tracy4499]

My daughter is 19 months old and has watched baby Einstein since she was 5 months old.  It is unbelievable how much she learned from watching these videos.  As long as you provide other opportunities during the day 1-2 videos can be a life saver. 

[tonkagal]

   THANK YOU!  I can't believe that your words are EXACTLY mine!!! It is so funny how we are all experiencing the same things!  My hubby is so great at telling me to relax and let her learn on her own - I CAN'T do everything!  The guilt gets me sometimes, but I know that at 4 months she is learning now matter what I do with our without her - why do we need to be the PERFECT mom??? 
Thanks to EVERYONE for all their posts - I feel ALOT better now!!

[Sylvia.]

hi some great ideas, dd like to sit or lay in front of the washing machine front loading and watch, now it is her job to empty the machine into a basket she just loves it