Where to start -- naps or bedtime in the crib??

[jforget]

I need help! Lo's first 3 mths have been just brutal -- 3 wks at home with mum and dad, then dad moved to another city to start work so lo and I flew back to where my Dad lives to live for the next 4 wks.  Came back to home, 10 days with dh, while I WORKED 8-10 hr days at home, then dh left again, grandparents helped while I worked for another 2 wks 8-10 hours to finish my project.  THEN -- project finished -- packed up the house and moved to the new city to be with dh! How's that for a first 3 mths?  To top it off, I just found out about a week ago that my thyroid has gone on the blink again and my levels are too high -- thus affecting my milk supply!  Had to feed lo almost every 1.5 to 2 hrs for about 5 days -- things seem to be improving now.  He basically only gained 5 oz in 2.5 wks!! NOT GOOD!

SO-- that's the stage, lo generally goes 3 hrs between feeds pretty easily, naps are not bad, though if I miss his "window" of putting him in his swing (he's NEVER slept in his crib) I have to walk around with him until he falls asleep.  Doesn't have much of a bedtime routine -- times are inconsistent too though I try to aim for 8pm.  I still feed him to sleep (only do this at night -- during the day he's on EASY). Then he goes to sleep pretty good, but is up every 3 hrs during the night!!  He's never slept longer than 4.5 hrs at night -- and hasn't done that since he was about 6 wks old......He's about 15 wks now and only 11lbs 5oz so needs to be fattened up quite a bit I think before he's going to start sleeping longer....thoughts??

I basically don't know where to start with him -- naptimes in the crib or bedtime in the crib??  Bedtime might be hard as he falls right to sleep off the boob....problem there is that I basically have to go to sleep when he does...fine when I'm tired, but I don't want to be doing this for the rest of my life!! Or should I try to develop a consistent night time routine before I start trying to get him in his crib? Any tips for moving him into this crib?  I'd say he's a pretty spirited baby, with a touch of textbook thrown in!!  Maybe getting him to nap FIRST in his crib might be the answer??  I definitely don't mind sleeping with me as it makes all his feeds a lot easier......

Any help/suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated! I just feel a bit overwhelmed with everything that's gone on over the last few mths!

[Intransit]

I sent you a priv msg.

[Deb_in_oz]

hi there - sorry you have had such a rough 3 months (itis a lot of stress for you as well as lo)

i too developed post-natal thyroiditis after having been ok for 10 years prior to dd1's birth and dd2 is also spiited so i can see where you are ocming form for some aspects of your situation.

i think that you will need some help from the props board so i woudl look there for the "Gradual withdrawl" technique and some help with independent sleep rather than boob or swing. i don't have experience with that so will hope that you get some advice from those who have been there.

i woudl say that it makes sense to tackle the naps first as you get lots of opportunities for practice so with each naptime you get another chance to fine tune your windown and settling techniques and reinforce the message to baby that this is the new way of doing things. when naps are sorted (will not be done in 1 day) then tackle bedtime routine so you can get your evenings back.

the main tip i will give you is this - CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY. think it through before you start and talk to the props girls and talk to Dh and come up with what you are going to commit to and stick with it. whatever you plan to do for naps make sure you do it the same for every nap until everything is on track - once you have everythign the way you want (crib sleeping and no feed to sleep) you will have some flexibility to work with  but for now it takes repitition for lo to learn that things are changing. he is likely to be upset by the change but over time (anywhere from a few days to weeks) he will settle into the new routine.

although you plan to continue the bedtime feed to sleep scenario you can start instituting a consistent bedtime routine - set the stage - you can do a bath and bedtime ritual... and start using a bedtime phrase for all naps and bedtime (like saying "it's sleepytime - night night" or something).

spirited nature: mine (and many i have read on here) does not like a long "windown" - just a simple nappy change and a cuddle/lullaby verse and into bed with goodnight phrase. i do use a noise machine and blackout curtains to limit chances of stimulation. there is a whole thread/sticky on this EASY board that is all about having a spirited lo and i recommend reading that.

Big Hugs - it is doable but likely to be hard - do you have the latest BW book (solves all your problems) as there is a LOT of specific advice in there for starting the routine and getting rid of props etc

[Colin Macs Mom]

I also had a tough time with my spirited lo sleeping in the crib. We started with night time in there and then went to naps after night was taken care of. A little backwards but it worked for us. It was actually quite easy to get him in bed at night, it was naps that ended up being a battle. The advice to choose one to work on first is definitely good. Be prepared to spend some major time on it though, especially if yours is indeed spirited. And to reiterate the other post, you MUST be consistent!