Have lots of questions

[Petra-Kate]

My DS was born on 2/10/2006 (8 lbs 5 oz).  We have been trying to do EASY since the beginning but feel like we are utterly failing.

Here is what is going on:

We started out intending to EBF.  However, before I even left the hospital, I was told that my DS was not getting enough.  So the nurses supplemented my breastmilk with formula.  One day home and DS is up from midnight to 6 am - screaming his precious head off.  So call the peditrician first thing in the morning....bring him in because he hasn't pooped since his first night.  Pedi says that we need to supplement the BF with formula....DS is hungry.  So we start supplementing - he took 1 to 2 ozs of formula after breastfeeding. By day 6 the whole family is miserable and I give up on breastfeeding after both lactation consultant and pedi's partner tell me I am supposed to be on demand 24/7 and told me that I should be willing to not sleep for days on end - literally- after I explain that my DS is staying up and crying for 6 hours at a time at night...sleeping only when exhausted.

So my MIL (a former neonatal nurse) comes down to help and she suggests a three hour feed cycle.  It seemed to be working when she was here.  But now DS seems to want a 2.5 hour cycle.

We have also noticed that he seems to have crying spells in the morning after his 8 am feed and in the evening around 9 pm.  We don't understand why.  We walk around in terror that the child will wake up early - again.

How strict should we be on the time schedule?  If he wakes up due to a wet diaper he does not settle back down at all....in fact he goes into a seeming rage.  If it is within an hour of his last feed - should I just go ahead and feed him?  I have tried to stall him but then he just cries a lot and hard.  Then when he does eat he doesn't eat as well and he falls asleep while feeding due to be tired from crying.

I understand he isn't going to have much of an A period right now.  DH and I are worried that we are getting the A before the E when we try to let him wait for the next feed. 

BTW we have been trying pat/shh but he goes nuts.  He arches his back and goes into a raging cry.

[mickymuscles]

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) your lo is so new!!!  It's sooooo hard the first few months!!!!   You think you will never sleep again....but it does happen eventually.    I found with my lo he liked to be fed every 2 hours when he was as little as your lo.  Breastfeeding is very draining and hard but becomes a bonding time...did you ever pump to see how much you were producing??  Formula can be very constipating (my lo suffered!!! when we first switched).  Are you swaddling your lo? And are you using a pacifier?  A 2.5 hour feed cycle is very reasonable.  Your lo is growing like a weed right now and is trying to put on some body fat.  I'd try not to get so consumed with watching the clock (easier to say... ) and try and go with how your lo is responding and what works for him.  Has he had a poop yet?

Your ds is probably sensing your apprehension too.  I'd try to back off the clock a bit.  Try doing a 2-2.5 hour feeding routine for the first few weeks then maybe try stretching it out a bit after that.  New parents aren't meant to sleep long stretches. 

[Petra-Kate]

Thank you for the reply. 

I did try pumping.  I got about 1 1/2 oz to 2 oz of pumping.  Part of the problem I was having was that DS fell asleep as soon as I put him to breast.  I think I could have hung him by his feet to bf and he would have fallen asleep!  He just would not actually eat from me.  He seems happier on formula.  He is a champion pooper now  - a least 2 a day (usually at 5 am of course).

We have been trying to use a pacifier.  We have to hold it in his mouth for him most of the time. We have a couple different kinds but they all seem to fall out before he is ready.    I think he mouth may be too small yet for the pacifer....maybe in a week or two?  We do swaddle unless he is in a sleeper (I am scared to death of SIDS and overheating has been linked to SIDS).

[Petra-Kate]

If DS wakes really early...say an hour and a half early..do I go ahead and feed him or do I wait?  He is wide awake when he wakes up. We have tried resettling him...great way to send him into back arching rage.

[mickymuscles]

That's too bad that you didn't get more support for bfing---it sounds like you producing more than enough milk for you lo. 2oz at his age is about normal....your supply would have started to increase by now too.    But at least you have peace of mind now knowing for sure he is getting enough. 
I thing I was taught to get Jackson to take a pacifier was to dip it in sweetened water (don't use honey tho).  He started sucking on it very well then....at your lo's age it's a good thing to have the pacifier just because they can't soothe themselves.  So maybe keep trying.  My lo never stuck with a pacifier once he found his fingers.
Are you in a cooler climate? and is your lo's room a reasonable temp? Swaddling at this age is important since they don't have good muscle control yet and those darn twitches always seem to wake them up!!!    Maybe adjust his clothing so that you can swaddle him all the time as part of your routine.  That way he will begin to associate swaddling with sleeping.
When you say wake-up early...do you mean from his night sleep? And what is early to you?    If you mean like 4amish...I say keep the stimulation low, lights off (preferrably), re-swaddle (if necessary), and feed.  Hopefully without any interaction he'll go back to sleep for another 1-2 hours.

[Petra-Kate]

Thanks for the reply.

We live in South Florida.  We keep the house bet 70 and 75.  I will continue to try to swaddle.  The hospital told us to stop after 2 days of life because of SIDS.  So swaddling scares me to be honest.  It was so hard to have DS and I am terrified of losing him.

When I say wake up early I mean in his nap cycle.  So that he has only slept an hour or less. If he slept til 4:30 am, I wouldn't be sitting here in tears.

I am also having a huge problem resettling him if something wakes him up like a wet diaper. I change him in low light, keeping things quiets as possible and then try to put him back down to sleep.  But he just has a crying fit.  Last night after an hour, my DH took over.  He got frustrated and put DS down and came to bed. DS cried hard for 5 minutes and then went to sleep for another hour.  Is it possible that he soothes himself by crying hard for a short time and by trying to calm him I am actually keeping him awake?

[mickymuscles]

It depends on what he is doing with his crying.....how long since his last feed, etc....he could be crying to soothe himself to sleep since this is the only thing he knows and he's looking for help to try and learn how to go to sleep.
If he wakes early from naps, but it's too soon to feed just adjust your routine.  Sometimes EASY isn't EASY but more EASASY or EAEASY or EASAEAS.....if he starts falling asleep while feeding maybe swaddle then put to bed or change diaper and put to bed.  A doesn't have to be anything major just a little something so that it isn't feed-bed.
Swaddling.....as long as he's not overheated (sweating) I would still swaddle....maybe by summer you can get out of swaddling because then he'll be way too warm.