EASY Routine with Daycare and Commute?

[WorkingMom]

I'm afraid that I really need some help!  My LO is 3 months old, and we've never really been serious about getting him on a routine...  Now I think I have my hubby on board (I know I'm ready!), but I can't quite seem to figure out a routine that will work for us!  By the time we leave the house in the morning until we get home at night is typically 12.5-13 hours.  (Our commute is ~45 minutes each way).  So...  has anyone else tackled similar issues?  Suggestions for what might work to make our LO happy and comfortable and on a workable routine?  In order to get to daycare, and then to work on time we have to leave here at 6:15 every morning. 
As I'm sure you can imagine we have all the problems you'd expect from a really bad case of accidental parenting... short naps, nighttime sleep problems etc.  I really am committed to getting us headed in the right direction (I'm planning to take a week off of work to get my LO settled into a routine), but I don't really know where to begin.  Help!  (And help too with suggestions of how to get him back to daycare after getting a routine going... or should I just keep taking him to daycare every day, even though they don't have the staff/time to be able to do PU/PD etc with him, until he gets the hang of it?)  ACK - can you tell I'm overwhelmed? 

Thank you in advance for any suggestions!

[HeatherC]

I'm so sorry I don't have much to offer on this one.  Does he eat before you leave the house?  If so, I assume he falls asleep in the car?  If you were able to transition him from the car into the daycare still asleep, he could finish his nap.  What kind of eating routine is he on now?  Every 3 hrs?  Does you daycare keep notes for you about his eating and sleeping?  The shorter nap on the way home could be considered his catnap. 
What are his nightwakings like?  Is he going through a growth spurt (erratic wake times, full feeds day and night)?
All you can do is the best you can do.  I know that's not great advice, but when you have to commute to work, you're limited, and you can't fault yourself for that.  I'm positive he's going to be just fine. 

[WorkingMom]

Thanks for the reply HeatherC.  I do feed him before we go to work...  and he does fall asleep in his carseat.  But he usually wakes up as soon as we stop.  But, I hadn't thought about the drive home being his "catnap"   That should work out perfectly.  How does this schedule look (ideal, not actual) 

E: 5:30
A: 5:45 (Dressed, into car seat)
S: 6:10 (on the way to work)
E: 8:30 (EBM)
A: 8:45
S: 10:00
E:11:30 (EBM)
A: 11:45
S: 1:00
E: 2:30 (EBM)
A: 2:45
S: 4:00 (Load into carseat at 4:30ish)E: 5:30 (at home breastfeed)
A:5:45 (Out in stroller or Bjorn for 30 minutes to walk dog, then home for tummy time and bath)
S: 7:00 (Down for the night, hopefully!)

Does that seem realistic?  Is the short morning activity time a problem?  Do you think he'll get enough sleep for his age?  And what time should I do the DF based on this?  (Have you done the DF?  How does it work exactly?  Do you slip a bottle into the lo's mouth while he's still asleep in his crib?  Or watch for deep sleep, and lift him out while sleeping to feed?) 

Thank you so much for any suggestions!

[HeatherC]

First of all, I wanted to mention to you that whatever routine you come up with is fine.  It will be your and your family's personal system, and your ds will adapt to it.  It doesn't have to be by the book, it just needs to fit in with your life.
So, it seems that you have a great plan.  The only things I would suggest are:
1.  since the first sleep of the day is short in the car, I would reccomend putting him down for his first nap even earlier than 10 if he is tired.  sleep doesn't always have to be so much time after eat, it should be when baby is tired, and if he's been up since 5:30 and only slept another 45 mins, he might be tired before 10.  if not, keep it the way it is
2.  if he is taking 1.5 hr naps during the day, that is great!!!!
3.  I personally would aim for an earlier bedtime to compensate for the earlier wake time.  I believe at his age he might need about 12 hr sleep at night (that is a broad generalization and every baby is different).  the df is designed to be given between 10-11 pm.  have you been giving a df already?  does he sleep through the night?  I had to completely wake my dd to feed her (bf at the time), others gently lift baby still mostly asleep and feed (this is probably easier with a bottle).  My dd fed and went right back to sleep, and I did it so that she wouldn't wake in the night (which she didn't), and I stopped it around 4 months I think.  I don't know if you should start the df now unless he is waking alot during the night, but we could find more help about that if it's something you'd like to try.