Trying to implement EASY with 2 month old

[magaparsec]

Hi everyone,

I have a VERY spirited daughter that turned 2 months yesterday. I read BW cover to cover last week and have been trying to follow her cues. She is breasfed and only naps for longer than 30-40 minutes in her (dreaded) swing, car or stroller. She is a fighter, and pat/sh did not seem to be working consistently when I tried it - after a few tries it seemed to start working, but then the next few times she fought and fought and fought. I am trying to maintain arounda 2 1/2 - 3 hour EASY but it doesn't seem to be working...

Her bedtime is getting better. She was co-sleeping with us up until last week. We feed her around 5:30-6:30, she sits in her carset and watches us eat dinner, then gets a bath or a wash, a bit of low-key play with Dad, feed from me around 7:30-8:30 and then Dad walks with her down the hall from her room to our room (where her cot is...) closes the door and does his magic. SOmetimes she goes down quickly, sometimes it takes a bit longer... I thing DH is trying to let her fall asleep in her cot, but sometimes I don't think so. Anyway...

First night was great - DF totally perfect, only 2 night waking (I think... mind is foggy from lack of sleep)... each night seems to be getting progressively worse, with more nightwakings and then she's hard to settle. DH has to swaddle her totally arms down (like a burritto - it's really cute) but she still arches and fights when she's upset.

Most evening she is showing her sleepy signs after her first dinner feed, in the carseat on the table. She starts out fine, yawning but happily playing with her hands... then she gets a bit fidgety and fussy. Last night DH swaddled her and sat her back down and that seemed to settle her, but then she started to 7-mile-stare and get droopy eyed. This seems to always happen. We continued though, eating dinner, then did her bedtime routine (it varies a bit, sometimes bath, sometimes no) and she went down around 9:30 finally. I dreamfed at 10:30 (her 2nd dinner was at 7:30) and she awoke at 1:30 ish - I fed and DH chaged her diaper and then she would NOT settle down! Wanted to play... he walked with her for a bit then had to go back to sleep for work so I walked with her a while, and then she played in her crib for a bit. She started yawning, so I reswaddled her (she fought) walked with her a bit and then finally ended up standing in the hall under the fire detector so she could stare at the little green light. I gently swayed sided to side - she would fuss if I didn't. After 5 or so minutes, her eyes started to close, so I kept doing it until they closed, then gently walked to our room and put her down. She slept until 5:30, when DH rocked her cradle gently and she settled back to sleep until 7 am! (first time). DH forgot to set his alarm for 6 so she wasn't disturbed. When she woke, DH changed her diaper then I fed her until about 7:40 ish... she played for a bit on our bed, started yawning around 8:10 so I picked her up, changed her again (she likes it) put new sleeper on her and let her lay in her crib for a few minutes. Then I reswaddled her, singing, walking back to our room, turned out lights, blinds, closed door, but she didn't seem sleepy at all when I laid her down. I admit, I got frustrated ( I was starving for breakfast...) so I brought her downstairs and put her in swing... she's been sleeping ever since (hooray... I should take a nap too) so for about an hour now.

Here's the thing. I would like to REALLY start a good routine with her during the day, but I have a hard time reading her cries. I can tell her sleepy cry (I think), but not sure about her hungry/wet/bored cries. Plus, whenever my mom or MIL are around or we're over at their places, the pressure is always, oh she's crying you better feed her. So then her feeding gets out of whack, and she can be a snacker, which makes her gassy, which makes her cry more... etc. I have cut dairy out starting yesterday and make more of an effort to burp her (she doesn't always burp easitly). She takes a bottle no problem now (after a few days of SERIOUS struggle) so we bottle feed ebm or formula every other day (DH gets her 2 nights a week as I am at rehearsal - nice to get a few hours off!)

ANYWAY - I am looking for some serious advice for someone who has implemented EASY at around 2 months with a spirited baby. My guess is that I have to start with routine, do it for a month and then work on sleep training... right now I'm more in survival mode than schedule/school mode 

I am in the Westcoast of Canada - are there any Baby Whisperers out this way who have had success who would like to help/mentor/go for coffee? DH doesn't quite get it - he likes to rock her etc. Before I read BW, we were in a bit of routine but it was co-sleeping and then feed on demand (which was about 2 hours or so) and for naps I just rocked/nursed/carried in sling/stroller/carseat for sleep... I do like to get out of the house for walks or shopping/coffee with friends (have several with babies so we relate - but they're babies are Angels...)

Ok enough rambling, DD awoke from nap fussy, but after a few rocks in bouncy chair, is happily playing (I think! She hasn't peeped...) See? Sometimes EASY is EASAE and then whatever goes from there! Her cues are hard to tell sometimes - because she is used to being nursed to sleep (less so now, thankfully) she used to root and crane her neck even when she was tired, not just hungry. And hse has foudn her fist and so it always putting it in her mouth, so is she hungry? Sometimes she comes off my breast, or both, and still acts hungry... need a mentor! Mom and MIL are old fashioned, either let em cry a bit or hold her ALL THE TIME! I do love holding her, but she also likes to be alone sometimes (already independent  ) I'm starting today to keep a log of her day, so I'll post that later on this weekend...

Ok enough for now. Need to eat and go for a walk. Would really appreciate some help though!

[HeatherC]

Hi, and welcome to Baby Whispering!  Which BW book did you read?  "The Secrets..."  has a good deal about reading your baby's different cries, and the "Solves All Your Problems" has, well, alot of problem solving.
Trust me, your dd sounds just like mine and our situation at that age; alot of swinging, bouncing, rocking, and crying.  It will get better, and you'll find a routine.
First, I think if you are able to develop a regular feeding "schedule" (I hate to use that word b/c it sounds so permanent when really nothing about a baby is  ), then you'll be better able to determine her needs during the rest of the EASY cycle.  So, at her age, I guess she needs to eat about every 2.5-3 hrs.  Then, at her age, she's probably able to stay awake 1-1.25 hrs total including feed time, so around that time you'd want to watch for the "seven mile stare", droopy eyes, fussing.  Once you can kind of track about how much time passes before she gets into this tired stage, then you can start her wind down a little ahead of time to prevent overtiredness. 
Now, consistency is the key here.  You will need to have a routine for every nap and bedtime.  You will need to prepare her for time to sleep b/c babies don't like to be playing and then, bam, put down to sleep.  Also, I feel that you should have a regular place for her to sleep at least while you are trying to sleep train her.  You will also need to pick a method such as shh/pat to help her learn to fall asleep and you'll have to stick with it for up to a week in some cases.  However, I hesitate to offer too much about sleep b/c on the SLEEP forums there are others much better able to give you information than I.
I know that it seems daunting to have to work day in and day out on just getting you baby to go to sleep, but it will truly pay off if you work on it now. 
Also, if you think she is becoming a snacker, you might want to check the Breastfeeding Forum for info on how to prevent this.  I *think* the idea is to try and hold her off with a soother/paci until as close to the next "scheduled" feeding time as possible.  Therefore, she should be more hungry and take a fuller feed.  Once you feel better that she is taking full feeds, you'll know that after she's fed and changed, she shouldn't be crying out of hunger, but something else, and, for example, if it's been 1 hr 15 mins since she last woke, then she's probably ready for another nap.
Boy, this is getting long, but bear with me.  Try to remember that things don't have to be by the book, or by the clock.  The general idea of the EASY system is to give you and your baby the sense of security and familiarity of a routine.  Also, it helps baby learn to fall asleep without having to be fed b/c you'll have baby play after she eats, and then go to sleep, and trust me, you don't want to be feeding her to sleep for long.  It will really do her justice to learn independent sleep.
I hope I've helped in even the slightest way.  Please continue to ask questions and we'll do our best.  I hope you have time to look around on the other forums for specific info regarding breastfeeding, props (feeding to sleep), and general sleep info.  Also, I'm including a link to a discussion between parents of other spirited babies.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=40851.0

[magaparsec]

Thanks for you message! I have been poking around on the site quite a bit, and read lots and lots. Maybe too much? Information overload, DH would say just go with the flow and use your instincts. Problem is my instincts are honed yet! Just now, she went down with pat/sh very quickly, but I think she was exhausted. Her first nap today was in the swing :0 and her second was a 15-20 minutes catnap... Anyway, we're working on routine, especially consistent nap & bedtime ones... unfortunately, it seems that just when it's getting better suddenly it changes! I have posted questions on other forums already, as well as the Spirted baby support group.

I read Secrets of BW, and am waiting for the Problem Solver book from the library.

I know it's a day to day thing... sometimes I wish it would all be fixed from one nap to the next or one night to the next! Last night was pretty good, but she woke up at 2ish, fed and then wanted to play... I eventually had to sway her under the smoke detector light until she was dozy and lay her down. She stayed until 5:30, then resettled with a bit of rocking until 7am! A first...

I am just finding it hard to incorporate my own eating and sleeping into EASY right now, because I'm trying desperately to watch her cues, especially sleeping, and so am not eating or drinking enough... but my mom i smaking lamb stew for St. Paddy's day tonight, so that will help!

I'll let you know how it goes next week.

[HeatherC]

It's always great for morale when a few things go well!  You just have to really keep with it or it won't work.  Congrats on the achievements thus far.
Please make sure you eat and drink throughout the day.  This is so important especially for bf'ing.  Can you keep a water bottle and some crackers by your side while nursing?
And, by the way, as there is a song that says "the only thing that stays the same is everything changes!"    It's to be expected.

[magaparsec]

She napped for almost 2 hours this afternoon! Pat/sh was so short, she almost passed out on my shoulder. She fussed when I lay her down but settled and went to sleep really quick. Thenas she stirred at 45 min, I ever so gently put hand on her and pated. almost tapped, and she swttled right back in! I had to wake her for 4pm feed. On the other hand, she has been taking almost an hour at feeds today, on and off, fussing and tugging. Frowth spurt @ 2 months or lower supply from missed feeds last night while at rehearsal? (I df as soon as I got home...)

[HeatherC]

Maggie, glad naps are improving!
I really can't offer too much as far as the bf'ing.  I had problems with my dd bobbing off and on around 3 mos, and I assumed it was a reflux problem.  I got medicine from her doctor, but it never really helped.  I eventually gave it up around 5 months, but wished I had tried harder to keep bf'ing.  Please check the Bf'ing boards for help.

[magaparsec]

And sometimes they surprise you... She was so tired when we put her down for the night, that she slept from 11:30-2am, and I fed her until she came off and put her back in bed. She then fussed in her bed for about 10 minutes and I was getting worried and then... silence! She put herself back to sleep (I think). Then she slept through until 5am and I fed her again, then she went back down until 8:30! Normally we'd start the day sooner, but hey, I got some solid blocks of sleep (hooray!) I fought her nap a bit again this morning, trying to extend it but it was 45 min on the dot... She was pretty tired too the rest of the morning, and my mom was over helping out with housework etc. Finally we went for a walk and the WHOLE time in the stoller to the cafe Emma cried. She'd cry, fall asleep, wake up, cry, fall asleep etc. Finally she was so worked up and had been crying so long it was time to eat again. She took 3 1/2 oz of formula (we hardly ever supplement, but I was really tired) from Grandma, sat up on her should, staring at the upholstry on the chair, and then just driften off to sleep. No rocking, so sh-ing, no patting. We were loathe to put her back in the stroller but she kept sleeping at least.

And I put her down and she just now woke up from 1:15 nap! No extender by me. I calmed her with pat-sh (she pretty much passed out on my shoulder) I lay her down, watched her for a few minutes, and then just left her to eat a snack and pump from missed feed. And she slept!

Always on your toes with a baby...