help please! combination feeding

[fibernie]

Hi there

Is there anyone out there who can offer support for combination feeding.  I have been breastfeeding for nearly 12 weeks, exclusively for the first 5 when I added a bottle of formula 'dream feed' which has really helped my daughter sleep through the night...

Now I am exhausted, emotional and suffering from really bad bouts of postnatal depression.  My mother says I am worn out and should stop breastfeeding for the good of all of us.  I'm stubborn and filled with feelings of guilt and inadequacy.  I'd like to try adding more bottles but am terrified of my milk supply running out.  Ideally I'd like every second feed to be breastmilk - this would give me a break and my daughter would still get my milk.

Has anyone done this?  Can you advise on how to make the transition?  There is support for exclusive breast or bottle feeding but very little for the combination.

Many many thanks in advance from a worn out and very fed-up new mum.

Fiona

[Nicola_G]

Fiona,

Why are you worn out and fed up? I think that's probably the key. If you have feelings of guilt and inadequacy, is it because you are considering reducing the number of bfs you are doing?

The research suggests that breast is best, but realistically not all mums can manage it and there is absolutely nothing wrong with using formula. You have to do what is best for you and your baby.

But if you really want to keep bf, you may need to decide to really stick with it and do some things to increase your supply (supplements, drink more water, etc). At 12 weeks I can't see why you couldn't go to a combination of breast and formula, but your supply WILL decrease, and there is a risk that you will lose your milk altogether. However, if you are tired and worn out, that may also be enough for your body to shut down the milk bar.

So I guess you really need to think about the underlying problem and maybe try and fix that. And ask yourself what would really suit you as you are the one who is being (pardon the pun!) sucked dry.

My experience with bf (I am still feeding my lo at nearly 8 months) was pretty horrific initially (and I know I'm not alone there). Bleeding nipples, supply dried up, lo losing weight, yadda yadda. Yes, it nearly crushed me. But I really wanted to keep bf and I stubbornly refused to give up. But for you it may be different, sounds like you are getting close to the end of the rope.

Maybe we can help you with the cause as well as the solution?

[fibernie]

Hi Nicola

Many thanks for your wise words....
Why am I at the end of my rope - it's a long story, but my husband and I had a very stressful year before our daughter was born, then she came a month early and my life turned on it's head in the four hours it took for her to enter the world!  The stress, anxiety and depression is no doubt affecting my supply, but it's a bit of a cycle, isn't it - breastfeeding causes stress, stress causes problems breastfeeding.

I think in my heart I have realised that I can no longer manage to breastfeed exclusively, but would like to continue to some degree.  I'm a health professional, and I know all about the benefits of breastmilk, plus feel such huge peer pressure (self inflicted) to continue.  This is all tied up with postnatal depression of course... I would like to go on antidepressants to feel better, but I worry about crossover to the milk.

I know there is no right or wrong answer.  That's the thing with parenting - you have to go with what you feel is best, and guilt is a bit of a wasted emotion.  Saying 'don't feel guilty' is a bit like saying 'don't think about pink elephants'... you just can't help yourself.

Well, little one about to wake.

F

[The Vern]

Fibernie - hugs to you. It sounds like you have had alot to deal with over the past year.  I can only share my own experience with combo feeding. My lo is 11 weeks. Due to a breast reduction surgery 15 years ago, my supply was doomed from the get go, so I did what I could to increase it (herbs, meds, pumping, frequent feeds), but always had to top up with formula.  This has worked quite well for us and knowing that she at least got some bm from me made me feel less guilt, as some is better than none.  And if you have managed to bf for 12 weeks, I don't think there is anything wrong at all with supplementing with formula every second feed.  Now, I agree with Nicola that you could see your supply diminish, but if you could pump after giving her the bottle, then at least stimulation continues at the same frequency.  If this would still stress you out, I would leave it be and give her the breast every second feed as you plan, as a stressed mom doesn't help the lo.  Recently my lo has started to reject the breast during the daytime, I think because she is more alert and wide awake and therefore doesn't like having to work for it, knowing that the bottle will follow, but this was just a recent development, so I continue to give her boob at night, which she takes well.  Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide on.

[SylvieA]

Hi,
It seems like a lot of mothers are struggling though the same thing. I'm pretty much in the same boat. I started giving formula to DS at 2.5 months at night before bed. (my son is now 18 weeks) It would give me a chance to rest while DH was feeding. Then I started supplementing more and more. Now my supply is very low, altough trying to increase by pumping and taking fenugreek. Now I'm only breastfeeding in the morning, and have to supplement that one. And maybe add another breast feed in the day. And will keep supplementing. Since I had given myself a goal to breastfeed till 6 months which I'm sure a lot of mothers do. I think thats one of the reasons we have a hard time letting go. And another is the negative you get from society on bottle feeding. I think as parents we should start doing what is best for us and baby and not what everyone thinks is right or wrong.
And fibernie try to give yourself some rest. I know it's hard. But I'm sure you need it.

[annary]

Hi! I read your post and had a chuckle! Could have been me a few weeks ago! Relax! Combo feeding is the way forward! I have been combo feeding since Thomas was 6 weeks old. He is now 14 weeks old.Your milk supply will lessen, as your baby is only eating half the amount, but if you keep your feedings relatively regular you will be right as rain! I have now stopped breast feeding as I am getting pretty busy at work ( <im in theatre and do funny hours......) He never had an issue with going from bottle to boob ,but he was really fussy for a weeks or so when I stopped boobing him. He would only take the boob and not enjoy from the bottle. But I have a theory that it was not the boob thing, but  a change of teet on the bottle and, from various postings regarding fussy eaters at 12 weeks, a totally normal thing!
Just enjoy your time with your baby. I loved the fact that I had taken away the pressure of exclusive breast feeding, and the inclusion of my husband in the closeness that comes with feeding your child! I cant understand why more women dont do it! I think we need ot spread the word.

[fibernie]

Many thanks all!
One other question... those of you doing combination feeding, any sign of your period returning?  I've had some irregular spotting and wonder if it's related.

Fibernie

[The Vern]

I have now gone to solely bottle feeding for the past week and a half. No sign of any period yet. I posted the question on the bf board to ask when people generally can expect it to return - the answer was that we're all different, some take weeks others months.