I need a sh/pat pep talk!

[poppyjo]

hi

I have been using the sh/pat method on my now 5 week old for five days. It was going well for the first three days but things have fallen off the rails a bit in the last two days and i don't know why. I guess some days are just better than others.

having said that I can feel my resolve wavering a bit and need a pep talk about how much better my life is going to be once this succeeds! I don't want to look impatient (even though I am sure I do!).

What I really need to know is how long, in general terms (as I know each baby is very different!) should I expect this method to take to work in a baby of this age?

Thanks!

[JennŠ]

Impatient?  Nah, just sleep deprived.  It's kind of a two steps forward, one step back thing in the beginning.  Sometimes not even that good.  It does get better though!   You start out with a sore back and a dry mouth.    This is where ibuprofen and hard candy are your friends.  (don't choke though!!)  Then you notice that it is taking less time to get lo off to sleep.  Hopefully the day is not far off when you can put babe in the crib, say "night-night"  and walk out.  With mine it just sort of clicked one night.   Keep at it and don't be thrown by the regressions that come with growth spurts and such.  You can always hang with us when it gets too frustrating. 

[Mom2katiebug]

It will work, but you may need to tweak it a little (or a lot).  Shh didn't work for my DD until she started getting interested in sounds.  So, I could shh till I got light headed and passed out without effect.  And, patting didn't really work either - in the traditional sense.  We ended up modifying it to a "bum-jiggle" where we'd put our hands on DD's diaper and jiggle her.  It wasn't rough or anything, but this worked the best for us.  We still use it sometimes now at 6MO. 

I think it was 12 or more weeks before the shh started having results for us.  In the meantime, I had a CD of rain that I played for white noise.  If I thought it would help, I'd turn it up pretty loud and it was my shh.

Good luck!

[poppyjo]

I had to laugh when I read mouse mums reply...sore back and dry mouth? Ain't that the truth! But I thought I was the only one who suffered that!

Thanks for the replies. I feel like a bit of a fool having a meltdown so early in the piece. It is a relief to know I am not the only one who finds it frustrating at times. Its just that when it goes well I feel fantastic! and when it doesn't its hard to continue to feel enthusiastic to say the least.

Actually, since yesterday I have been wearing my ipod, playing very softly, to help while away the time. Its been fantastic. 20 minutes flies by when you are listening to music that you love. (as long as poppy isn't crying too loud to hear it!)

Thanks again

Jo

[BabyBsMommy]

Jo, keep at it!  Hee hee, dry mouth and the woosies! - I totally had those symptoms at our bedtime marathon last night and whenever I had to take a break to swallow and try to wet my whistle, he would start to scream again!  We abandonned pat/ssh for a while with our son because it wasn't working.  He is now 15 weeks old and we've been trying again this week and it is...we had 2 or 3 good days with it and then yesterday it started to regress again - we were down to under 10 min and then we moved up to 15 min, 20 min and an hour and a half at bedtime!  I was so frustrated, I finally put him down on my bed and bawled my eyes out for ten minutes (ironically he laid there and was silent and smiling through my breakdown!) - he was up so late that I had to feed him again and abandon the dream feed for the night.  On the bright side, he finally went to sleep at 10:30, slept until 3:45 (he usually wakes at 4am for a feed with the dream feed and his normal bedtime), started his day at 7 and went down in less than 10 min for his first nap at 8:30.....sometimes you just need to get over the hump!  Ohhhhh, how I dream of the day that I whisper, it's bedtime, I love you and he smiles, sighs and goes to sleep!  You just have to keep the faith that the day will come one day! (or, they'll hit six months where their sleep cycle changes and they'll at least sleep for more than 45 min which will make the fight to get to sleep more rewarding!) - like the idea of listening to some tunes through it all - must try that!  Much more entertaining than wah wah wah, I presume! lol

[avery's momma]

i literally thought i would pass out last night shhhing at my lol's side, and i thought to myself, as she lay there asleep.. obviously oblivious to all my efforts to keep her in dreamland, that if i did pass out from all the shhhing, that i would land to the floor and startle her into a sure-fire wailing fit of rage. but i kept at it for about 10 mins (i know, i should have stayed for 20), and i tiptoed out.. i think i did this routine twice last night, (see, i should have just stayed for 20), but thankfully the second time it worked. i let her suck on my finger instead of a paci (has tried the paci a couple times, but when it falls out, she wakes up and cries) and the finger-sucking worked bc i would take it out when she seemed pacified, yet it wouldn't startle her. not sure i want to do this every night, but take heart- that was at 9:40, and she slept until 1:40! it was great. we have not tried the dreamfeed yet, so maybe we will tonight.. is that with a bottle, while they are still in bed? with no burping? i am brfeeding, but i have pumped some, so we could definitely try. hope this helps, and if not, maybe you at least got a good laugh thinking about all us moms/mums out there passing out from shhing.. (also- we have an air-purifier that we keep on a low setting all day and night.. when she seems to need more shhing, i crank it up to the loud setting, and it seems to help) good luck.

[BabyBsMommy]

Yay!  This nap took only 2 min of pat/ssh holding him, held him quiet for 3 min and asleep 2 min after I put him down in the crib - I was even able to reswaddle him in the crib, he was so dazed!
Avery's Mommy - after many tries and failures, I finally go the dreamfeed going about 5 nights ago (my son is now 15 weeks) - before I was trying with the breast but this time pumped and used a bottle and it works!  I pick him up gently and hold him to feed him, being careful not to wake him (he did almost wake one time and I had to spend a half hour settling him in the crib but it was still worth it to have him sleep longer after!).  Apparently you don't have to burp because they are so relaxed as they eat in their sleep state that they take in very little gas.  I tried burping the first 3 nights and he was asleep on my shoulder and didn't burp anyways, so the next two I haven't and I didn't notice any extra gas either way.  Hope this helps!  Oh, and he has taken all that I give him from the bottle, between 4-6 oz depending on how much I'm able to express for the feed.

[avery's momma]

great! thanks for the advice. and congrats on the easy down for your lo! we just had an easy down for a nap too! moms = 2, babies = 0 (but who's keeping score?) i will try the dream feed tonight and see how that works for her. good to know on the amounts.. do you put it all in one bottle (i store mine in 2 oz increments)? i haven't done that before when i have given her a bottle, but only bc i didn't want to waste what she didn't eat.. thanks again. i am a huge fan of this msg board- it really helps hearing advice from all of you!

[BabyBsMommy]

I'm keeping score!!!!  After all this hard work, we deserve to celebrate our victories!
I hope what I do is ok but I try to pump a few times a day, usually 1-2 oz so I don't have to do it all in one shot at night.  In between, I put some saran wrap over the petal part (suction part - it's the AVENT manual pump that I use) and put it in the fridge.  I was worried about wasting what he doesn't drink, too since my freezer reserves are running a little low but he seems to take whatever is in the bottle!  Once or twice I've ended up with 8 oz and so I've poured off 2-3 to put in the freezer before I warm up what's in the bottle.
Good luck with the df - just persevere with it, it took me many times to get in right but now I think I've learned that the bottle is the key!  If your lo doesn't take it after 4 or 5 nights trying, wait a week or two and try again.  Like I said, Brenden didn't finally take it until this past week at 14-15 weeks old!
p.s. We are 1.5 hours into nap 2 - SCORE!!!!