mom2katie.. short naps

[Mom2Katie]

Sorry for the meltdown - stressful morning...       Here is my info:

1) Naps are 30 minutes like clock work.  Ive tried wake to sleep at about 25-28 minutes.  I go in, pat her gently, replace her paci, and stroke her head until she stirs a little bit.  It works once out of maybe five or six times, but then only until about forty minutes.    Most of the time, she still wakes up right at 30.  She always wakes up making these little frustrated cries.  Then, if she sees me, she gets excited and smiley.  So, I've been trying to keep a hand over her eyes.  Then it's back to the frustrated cries, which finally build into real crying.

2) She's on the 4-hour EASY.  Our day goes something like this:

6:30 a.m.  Wake, bottle
7:00 - 8:00 a.m.  activity.  She almost always gets tired (yawning, rubbing eyes) at around 8a.m.  I can usually get her to stay awake until 8:15, then she's out.
8:15ish - Nap for half hour, then fight nap for an hour
10:30 a.m. - bottle
11:00 a.m. - activity - since she's so tired from fighting her nap, she's been tired again by 11:45.  I can sometimes get her to stay awake until 12:00 p.m., but it's been hard.
12:00ish - nap for half hour, then fight nap for an hour
2:30 p.m. - bottle
3 p.m. - activity
3:45 or 4:00 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. or so- again, since she's been so tired, she's been catnapping around this time.  Then she's awake and pretty cranky until her next feed & bed.
6:30 p.m. - bottle
7:15 p.m. - bath & bedtime routine
7:30 or 8 p.m. (depending on how tired she is - lately it's been 7:30) small bottle & bed

3)  She goes to sleep independently.  She's very easy to put down.  I close the blinds, read a short book, then put her in her crib, drowsy, but awake.  She usually drops right off.  She does use a paci and is pretty attached to it, until she falls asleep.  I stopped swaddling her about a month ago because she kept kicking off the blanket.  The lack of swaddling makes it harder to soothe her or do shhh/pat because she's rolling all over the place.  This is only a problem at naps, though.  At night, she puts herself back to sleep, even after rolling all over the crib.

If she needs an extra cat nap, should I be doing her nap routine and putting her in the crib, or just let her sleep wherever she happens to be?  I usually only do the routine for the first two naps and then let her cat nap in her bouncer chair, on a blanket on the floor, or in her car seat. 

Let me know if you need more info or if I can clarify.  Thank you so much for your help.  I don't mean to be selfish here, but without any "Y" time, I'm going crazy.

[Mom2Katie]

Hmm.... well, she doesn't wake for it at night.  She used to, up until two months ago when she started sleeping through the night.  Now that I think about it, she does seem to need it to go to sleep, and sucks on it usually until she drops off.  Then it falls out of her mouth and I don't replace it, except when I'm doing wake to sleep. 

Do you think that's the problem for naps?  I can try to wean her, but oh boy that's not going to be fun.

[Mom2Katie]

No, she doesn't wake up when it drops out of her mouth.  But I've never tried extending without the paci.  I've just been automatically giving it to her because we're both so used to it.  She does seem to need it back when I'm trying to extend.  After she's done screaming or fussing, she'll start to settle down and fall back asleep, and she seems to calm down faster if she's got it to suck on.  I also use it at the end of her wind down time just before nap or bedtime.  I guess I actually depend on the paci a lot, probably more than I should.  Would you recommend trying to wean her off of it, at this point?

[Mom2Katie]

I think today was the worst yet.  The routine went right out the window.  She didn't even eat at normal times.  I think all the screaming made her hungry.  After a total of half hour sleep for most of the day, in the late afternoon, I finally picked her up and - undoing weeks of hard work - just laid down with her so that I could get moment's peace.  She of course slept like a rock, moved a little bit at the half hour point, but stayed asleep for another hour and woke up smiling and sweet.

I don't know if I'm being inconsistent or if she (and I) are too dependent on the paci, but it seems as though things are getting worse.  I'm not sure how to stop the habitual waking at the half hour point.  I tried wake to sleep today at 25 minutes, but she still woke up.   

[Mom2Katie]

Stacy - Thank you - sorry for the desperation.

[Kimberly®]

Mom2Katie; Hi sweety, I'm so sorry your having suck a tough time. Part of why things are getting so bad may be because of a growth spurt, she's due for one, also I do think it may be time to get rid of the paci.
I think its time to really kick it into gear with the PU/PD. Hang in there I know its hard but you can do it. First thing to do is wean that paci. Have you tried at all? What have you used to try if you did?
Also try putting your LO down 10-15 minutes earlier then you currently do. It may help, it may be that she's showing her tired signs to late.

[Mom2Katie]

Karita - Thank you for the encouragement.   You're probably right about the paci.  I hadn't realized until Stacy clued me in how much I use it.  I have not even tried to wean her from it.   What do you use for comfort instead of the paci?   

She really fights me when I'm doing PU/PD (arching back, waving fists) so I've only been doing it when she is all-out crying.  Otherwise, I do shhh/pat or just put my hands on her chest or stroke her head.  Do you think that the shhh/pat or hands on is less effective? 

[Kimberly®]

Try giving your LO a lovie, a small stuffed toy, or blanket to cuddle or chew on for comfort.

Try the easy removal paln first to wean, if it doesn't work try cold turkey. Stacy has a point about daytime use for the paci. If you want to wean it that means wake time and night time. Its a lot of work but its better in the long run. If you take paci for bed, but leave it for days it'll just confuse her and make things worse.

I would say persist with patt/shh if it works for you. If she has that reaction to PU/PD I don't think its helping any.

[Mom2Katie]

Hi Stacy & Karita - sorry for the delay.  To answer your questions:  yes, I had been using the paci during awake time, typically during wind down time.  I hadn't been giving her a lovie, but I started today, this morning, a small stuffed toy.  I tried putting her down for her morning nap without the paci.  I think she definitely is dependent on it to get to sleep.  She is usually so easy to put down - a couple of minutes of cuddling, short book, paci, and bam, out.  Sorry, this is pretty long, but here's what happened today:

She was tired at the usual time this morning (8:30 a.m.).  At her first yawn, I took her to her room and did the nap routine, but did not give her the paci.  She started crying and struggling in my lap.  After a few minutes, she calmed down, so I put her in her crib.  Immediate crying.   I did shhh/pat for 30 minutes (with a little PU/PD when she really started screaming).  At 30 minutes, she calmed down and fell asleep.  She slept for twenty minutes, then woke up crying.  I did shhhh/pat for about ten minutes. 

Then after ten minutes of shhh/pat, she suddenly stopped crying and was awake and smiling, talking, cooing, playing.  I had no idea what to do at this point.  It seemed like I was stimulating her, so I finally just sat down in the rocker next to her crib.  She couldn't see me, but when she started to fuss, I would talk to her.  This worked for about ten minutes, then she started really crying again.  I did shhh/pat (and some PU/PD) for forty-five minutes.  She got more and more worked up and was screaming at the top of her lungs.  She would settle down, then start screaming again, over and over.  Finally, at about fifteen minutes before her next feed (10:30 a.m.) I took her out of the room.

She took her bottle and is now playing in her bouncer chair.  She seems content enough, but looks really tired.  I'm going to give her a few more minutes and start wind down and the nap routine all over again.  From what you said, Stacy, I guess her reaction to no paci is normal....

I have no idea what to do when she stops crying and is wide awake and smiling.  Should I continue shhh/pat?  Leave the room until she fusses?  Wait until it's an all-out cry again?  This is so confusing!  Thank you all so much for your encouragement.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it's so nice to know that I"m not alone!

[Kimberly®]

Its good start. It's going to be a few days of this unfortunitly. Just stay strong and don't give it {{{HUGS}}} When she stops crying, even if she's playing, either do what you did, or leave the room. We used to leave the room

Do you have a misic box or CD player you can put in there? If not get one and start playing the music. It'll help keep her calm. Just make sure its very soft, and its soothing, they have great CD's for infents. I used to use my CD payer at every napa nd bedtime, she now gets it for bedtime, sometimes not at all. While music can be considered a prop, most LO's grow out of that on their own. If they don't its easier on you to turn on a radio and leave the room. Better yet try to get one with a remote so you don't even have to enter the room.

[Mom2Katie]

Same thing happened for second nap, but shorter time to go to sleep, and she's past the twenty minute mark now.  I"m not going to hold my breath, though.  I forgot to mention, I do have a CD player in her room that I use for white noise.  Her room faces the street and the white noise seems to block out traffic sounds.  I've been using it for naps and run it all night on repeat.  Is this ok?

This is going to sound stupid and selfish, but, I feel like she's going to end up hating me!  I'm doing this by myself pretty much.  My DH, bless his heart, tries, but he can't take the crying and usually ends up doing whatever will make her stop, which includes feeding her, even if it's only been twenty minutes since her last bottle!  But he works and travels a lot, so it's usually just me.  She just lights up when he gets home - I'm so afraid she's going to associate me with all these negative emotions about sleep and naps.  Is this completely dumb?  I'm pretty high-strung as a first-time mom, plus I had a really hard time getting pregnant - three years of fertility treatments.  Then, she was a twin, but we lost her sister during emergency C-section.  Add to that, she was a six-weeks preemie and over a month in the NICU, so... I'm pretty uptight about her.  I want so muich to do the right things with her and not fall into the "poor baby" routine that Tracy talks about.  But it's so hard when she's screaming her head off!  I guess all this stuff belongs in a different post...

[Mom2Katie]

I've started drinking a nightly gin & tonic.  Does that count as a prop???

The afternoon nap seemed to go slightly better:  she woke up crying at half an hour, and then about every five minutes, crying, after that for another half hour.  But she never really completely woke up, and so she ended up getting about an hour and a half nap.  And she's made it till now with no paci, although it's been tempting.  I know the hard part is not over yet, but at least I got a little break this afternoon.  I know you're right and it will be worth it in the end!  Thank for all your advice!

[Mom2Katie]

Can it really be true???  We seem to have completely weaned her from the paci, and although she still has a little trouble settling herself for sleep, she's getting better at it.  And even better, we are on day two of 1.5-hour naps!  For the past two days, I've watched her wake up at the half hour point and put herself back to sleep.  Hallelujah! 

Thanks so much to you and the other moderators for your help, support, and suggestions.  I couldn't have done this without you.   She may regress and I may be back, but for now, things are looking brighter!

[Kimberly®]

I'm so happy to hear that things are going so well for you. Anytime you need a hand feel free to ask