PLease please help me, night wakings are getting worse.

[josie k]

PLease help me.  ???I have a 6 month old who has never, ever slept through the night. I started the EASY routine at three months to hopefully make a difference to his nights which unfortunately hasn't. At the moment his night wakings are even more frequent and won't be pacified no matter what i do-except feed him, but often this also doesn't work.

I really don't know what to do at this point and feel there are no options left for me now except to just accept the situation as it is and forget about me getting any sleep any time soon, which leaves me feeling depressed and frustrated. I feel for my lo too, that he cannot possibly be getting enough sleep for his development.

His routine is good in the day. He has a good 1.5-2hr nap in the morning, activity times are 2-2.5hrs, he seems to have dropped a long lunchtime nap to about 45mins and has another 45 later on in the day, which he always seems happy after and is not still tired and cranky. He has a milk feeds every four hours, although he and I, have almost dropped the 3.00pm feed and has baby cereal instead.  I started weaning him at four months in an effort to get him going longer stretches between feeds at night, which actually worked for a few nights (but not now) and has his solids three times a day an hour after his milk feeds.   

He has always had a good bedtime routine too which he enjoys. A warm bath at 6.00, dressed for bed, last feed, then sleep at 7.00 but this has now turned into a real ordeal too. He screams when getting ready for bed and won't calm down. I manage to feed him and he falls asleep immediately after so i put him in his cot, which has been totally fine for over three months now, but now he stays asleep for 5 mins and then is wide awake and screaming, i'm not kidding, until he falls asleep out of exhaustion despite being rocked, held, sang to, given gripe water, teething gel etc. I'm not doing PU/PD at the moment although it has worked in the past.

I really feel his night wakings and the bedtime ordeal are linked and i'm guessing he is A: overtired and B: is incappable of settling himself to sleep and back to sleep during the night.

When i first started the routine he went into his cot, what, three times a day awake and was frequently settling himself to sleep, however now he knows his wind down routine so, so well as soon as i draw the blinds shut he settles himself on my shoulder and falls straight to sleep, which I'm presuming is an issue - he's got out of the habit of settling himself.

He is teething at the mo and four of his top teeth are coming down at once, but even with painkillers and teething gel he still wakes sometimes every ten minutes crying. i never used a paci, he doesn't have a lovie (i don't know how to introduce one) and have started feeding again at night even though we cut out night feeds a while ago.To make matters worse he also wakes regularly at 5.30am giving me even less sleep.

I do suspect feeding him right before i put him down is possibly a problem. I think he's maybe uncomfortably full??? I have also shifted his bedtime forward to 6.00 too if he is possibly overtired, but i still have the same bedtime battle and screaming.

Sorry about the long E mail but i am desperate.I have found nothing helpful in Tracy's book that i feel i am already doing. But if you have ANY advice i could try, you will save me from nervous exhaustion!!

Josie K

[andibig]

4 teeth at the same time!! poor thing!! sorry can't give you any advice just send you big hugs. i think its probably his teeth that are causing the night wakings because 4 is an awful lot to come at once. hopefully someone can give you some good advice

[Colin Macs Mom]

Josie, so sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time. My DS never slept through either until he was about 7.5 months.    It does sound to me like teething could be the primary problem, but can you post your entire routine? That might help identify something else. 

[josie k]

Here is an average day
Wake 5.45am so feed. Sometimes he goes back to sleep until 7. Most of the time he does not.

E. Solids 7.00am (Depends when he woke. weetabix with cows milk and banana).
A. 2.15hrs from waking. Read books, playmat with toys.
S. 8am-9.30. This is pretty stable.
E. 10.00 Bf
    11.00 lunch (Pasta with cheese, fruit and yogurt. He loves Cheese!)

The reason I've said what he eats is that i read it's important that they get the right amount of carbs and protein throughout the day, which supposedly effects night hunger.

A. 2.5hrs from waking. Walk in the park.
S.12.00pm-12.45. Sometimes, rarely now, sleeps for an hour, never more.
A. 12.45-3.00. Usually go out now shopping etc.
E. 2.30 or 3.00 Bf
S. 3.30pm-4.00pm He doesn't always have this. Often he gets really hard to put down now without huuuge screaming match.
E. Solids 4.30-5.00. Bowl of baby cereal and banana. If he doesn't have his last nap this meal is earlier at 3.30-4.00.

He's getting pretty cranky now whether he's had last sleep or not.

A. until 6.00. 5.00 if he missed last nap.
Bathtime, dressed for bed, taken into dark quiet bedroom for last feed then put into cot asleep.

This is when problems start. Tonight wasn't interested in last feed. Probably because had had cereal only an hour before and took an hour to settle. I put him in his cot awake and sat with him shushing for a long time. Resorted to pU/PD in the end. Which worked.

I get so depressed that the sleep situation is such hard work ALL of the time. I know I'm not alone but it sure feels that way. Ive lost the feelings i had when i first started the EASY routine. That i was working towards a goal and that it would all be worth it in the end. I feel right back where i started but with no solutions now and nothing to hope for and to expect, except that my Lo seems exceptionally hard work.

Sorry about all of the details! I have managed to get the number of a sleep clinic in London now so i am going to give them a call. I don't feel hopeful though and have a feeling these things are very expensive. Anyway i really would appreciate any advice.

Josie K

[andibig]

i think at six months they usually drop there catnap in the a/noon.pretty sure my dd did at that age as it was becoming impossible to put her down for that nap without major screaming fits. i then had to move her nap time later (therfore giving her longer A time) so that she would sleep for longer. sounds like he's getting over tired causing the night wakings (imo). maybe a sleep clinic can help but be careful as they can be very very expensive! good luck

[Colin Macs Mom]

How many ounces per day is he getting, do you know? I know it can be hard to tell when you are BF-ing.

I believe he is in a cycle of overtiredness. It looks like he's not having much in terms of naps after the 8-9:30 am.    The first thing to do here is to extend the naps. Also, at 6 mo. it may be time to transition to two naps instead of three - he should be able to handle being awake for a bit longer now. That might do the trick to get him to sleep longer. Also, putting him into his cot when he's already asleep is going to cause problems as well. You want to put him down awake and teach him to sleep independently. Then when he wakes he will know where he is and not be somewhere different then when he went to sleep.  Here is what I suggest:

7:00am Wake and Solids (weetabix with cows milk and banana).
A. 2.15hrs from waking. Read books, playmat with toys.
S. 9:30am-11.00.
E. 11.00 Bf
    12.00 lunch (Pasta with cheese, fruit and yogurt. He loves Cheese!)
A. Walk in the park.
2:00 (or so) nap
3:30 wake and BF
5:00 Solids, Bowl of baby cereal and banana.
6:30/7: Bathtime, dressed for bed, taken into dark quiet bedroom for last feed then put into cot AWAKE.

If you move bedtime to 7-8 that ought to make a huge difference as well. I'm glad to hear that pat/shhh and PU/PD worked for you, but it takes more than one try. It's something that takes some time, the length of time depends on the lo. You might want to check out the PU/PD board for some support and ideas there. If it works for you then go with it - EASY is not easy, it takes a lot of work but it really does pay off in the end. I promise!! And we are all here for you to help out! 

[josie k]

Thanks for the reply. I agree i think he is overtired and have thought he needs his afternoon nap extending for some time. I think i'll cut his morning nap shorter to maybe an hour as that has made a difference to his pm nap before. I think he has another cat nap late in the afternoon because he hasn't has enough for the first.

I also agree putting him in his cot asleep is a problem, it's a cycle we've got into but i wasn't overly worried about him going down asleep for the night as he always went into his cot awake for the rest of the time. It's only recently that has changed. He did go down awake tonight however and it took an age to settle him. Still i guess he'll learn eventually. Just like he did at the start of EASY.I bought him a lovie today so i'm hoping he'll become good and dependant on it soon!

 I've actually moved his bedtime earlier as he is overtired and by the time iv'e settled him it's after seven anyway, but i'll try putting him to be a little later tomorrow. I think he has about 16oz, four feeds a day and at the moment another 8oz at night. I am totally guessing! Last time i expressed i got about 2-3oz a breast but he is really dropping the 3.00pm feed. Anyway i'll stick to your routine and see how it goes. Thanks again.
Josie K

[Colin Macs Mom]

Yes, please do let us know how it goes!

Don't worry, it will take ages to settle him at first, but it will get better and then one day, it will be everything you could have dreamed of!!