where to start...fixing a few problems

[MyPiggie]

I have a 3 layered problem sleep problem with my 8 month old son. I did all sorts of things wrong at the beginning, for various reasons, but now need to fix these problems. I just don't know where to start first.

Problem One: He cannot put himself to sleep at night or for naps. I have to hold him to get him to sleep and many times I also have to get a bottle as well. I tried to Ferberize him at 5 months and all it did was upset everyone and make him throw up. As a result of feeling so terrible for doing this to him, I returned to my old ways.

Problem Two: He wakes up at least 3 times a night and cannot put himself back to sleep (without a bottle). Without a bottle these wakings can last way over an hour and the relief usually occurs when I give the bottle.

Problem Three: Regardless of what else I try to do in place of the bottle, I usually end up feeding him 3 times a night. These frequent feedings lead to diaper overload. Many nights he is soaked and I have to get up to change him. His crib is also wet,  so he ends up in our bed.

I read this book about three weeks ago and tried to start the program with getting him to sleep on his own. I did pu/pd 67 times before he went off. The problem was that over the next few bights, we all ended up sick and the plan was put off. Now I am ready to begin again. I have a good night routine, though it always ends with me sending him off to sleep in my arms around 8pm. Around 1 am  we begin the up and down game until we finally get up for good around 7am.

My question is which problem do I address first? I just want to get this resolved before I decide if I'll  go back to teaching in August. Is this possible?

[Jenn©]

Definately a pu/pd thing.  When everyone is healthy again, start that again.  It's not an instant fix, but it does work.  He also needs a consistant routine for all naps/bedtime.  This will help him understand what he is going to do.   Diaperwise, premium diapers and diaper doublers (or maxi pads) work wonders.  We used the crib underpads when dd was little, but now she is all over the crib, so no point.      Is he taking a full feed at each waking?  If so, he is probably getting a good portion of his calories at night.  Check out the Props board for ideas on the whole bottle issue.  Also, can you post his full day/night routine for us?  That will help us spot things that can be tweaked.     

[Jenn©]

Hang in there!!  I'm gathering the various moderators to help.   

[Kimberly®]

try this again.. first one got lost 

I'm sorry your having such a hard time, while fixing this will take time and patience I have faith you can do this.
Change your nap routine so you have the bottle before the activity and get him down awake. Use PU/PD to settle him. Do the same for bedtime. Do PU/PD as many times as it takes to settle him, this can take a long time but don't give up. It will get better the more you do it.

For nights try not to change unless you have to, diaper doubles, pads in the diaper, or overnight diapers really help. When he wakes if he is crying go to him and start PU/PD, again do it as long as it takes. This may mean a couple sleepless nights, but they wont last long. Be persistent and it will work. Try to get someone in who can help you.

I notice you have 6 daytime bottles and at least 2 night time bottles. How much is he taking each time? I think he's having to much formula he should have about 20-27oz at his age and the rest in solid foods. Taking those night time bottles out is not going to be detrimental to him as they are habit and he doesn't actually need the food. If he doesn't take much during the day right now you'll notice he'll be eating more when you stop the night feeds.

I think cold Turkey is going to be the best way for you to go here. It'll be hard, but worth it in the end.

HTH

[Kimberly®]

thats a big improvement I hope it continues.

Your LO sounds like he's snacking. I think a 4 hour EASY may be in order. Maybe even 5, if you feed him ferther apart he'll eat more at each feeding.

[corrina01]

How long does he nap in the morning and afternoon?

[corrina01]

Have I read it right, tell me if I am wrong, he is having 2 solid meals a day?

If he is, try a 3rd solid meal at 5pm and then a bottle at 7pm cut out that 6pm bottle, so he drinks more at the 7pm bottle.

When he wakes during the night does he cry for the bottle or does he just wake and plays.  If he is just playing, cut down his nap times to 90mins each one.

Another alternative to going cold turkey is cutting down each of his bottles by 1oz every 3 nights, so he isn't expecting to be fed. So when the 3 bottles you are giving to him at night gets down to 1oz, then cut it straight out.  Cold turkey is the best way, but if you don't like to do it this way, above is an alternative.

[Richelle]

Hi,

Is it at all possible for you to have a 'very structured' routine?  It may help you as well as your son in regards to meals and naps.  I found that when my DD had trouble adjusting to something If I had a schedule to follow with her it really helped for me to remain objective and work through what exactly was going on.