2 months...where do I start?

[onemodestdiva]

Even though we used easy for my 1st child starting at 4 months and I am very sold on it I have done way too much accidental parenting with my second.  she is almost 2 months and I have really screwed her up!     Now I want to get her on a schedule but I am unsure of where to even begin. 

We allowed her to sleep in her car seat for the first 2 months because she had reflux.  I don't think she has it any more but she still sleeps there because she wakes up after 20 minutes if I lay her flat. 

She has either nursed to sleep or taken a pacifier while we walk or rock her.  I am doing better about the nursing to sleep but I am a little worried that I am causing her to be dependant on her pacifier to go to sleep since we use it so much and I haven't tried to get her to go to sleep without it.  my first didn't use one and so I am unsure if I am causing it to become a prop.

I have a toddler at home who has become very needy but only when I have to try and work with Mia to get her to sleep.  I know that this is going to take some time...but how do you do it with a small child?

lastly... she has been going to bed at 10 and sometimes as late as 12 and I can't seem to get her to go down any sooner than that without drugging the poor child.  Although I have resorted to that a few times I am sure that no normal mother dreams of permanently putting her daughter on Benedryl.  There isn't anything normal but over the last couple of days she has slept from 11 to 6 which is lovely but it really plays havoc with starting her on an EASY schedule because it has to start at 6.   

If you have any advise for where I should start I would really appreciate it.

Alisha

[Intransit]

Hi there,
I would suggest starting with one thing..and working from there. A good thing to start with is the wake time and sleep time(ok, that sounds like 2 doesn't it?) Wake your LO at the same time every morning...and really try to get the EAS in place...as you used EASY before Im sure you know what you're doing. 
Set a bed time...and have a routine in place that she will get used to.....and since she is younger try pat/shh perhaps? I remember the beginning of easy, when i started my LO on it..he was 3 months old..and it took time and patience...and a lot of crying on his part..but it paid off..thank god.
What does the average day look like?
Also..I dont have another LO to worry about...so I can't give advice about having another one around...hopefully someone can step up on that point
Good luck!

[LŠuren]

Hi Alisha

Now I want to get her on a schedule but I am unsure of where to even begin. 

Here is a link to getting started, however PLEASE still post your current routine so we can help you get started 

We allowed her to sleep in her car seat for the first 2 months because she had reflux.  I don't think she has it any more but she still sleeps there because she wakes up after 20 minutes if I lay her flat. 

Have you tried elevating her mattress so she isn't lying flat?

She has either nursed to sleep or taken a pacifier while we walk or rock her.  I am doing better about the nursing to sleep but I am a little worried that I am causing her to be dependant on her pacifier to go to sleep since we use it so much and I haven't tried to get her to go to sleep without it.  my first didn't use one and so I am unsure if I am causing it to become a prop.

Alisha, I am not too sure about how to handle the use of pacifiers, as DS was never given one unless I was trying to extend a feed for 5 - 10mins when he was younger.  The ladies on the the props board will be able to help you out with that one. https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=28.0

I have a toddler at home who has become very needy but only when I have to try and work with Mia to get her to sleep.  I know that this is going to take some time...but how do you do it with a small child?

Alisha, {{hugs}} it isn't something I have to contend with (at the moment) but I can appreciate it is difficult, there is another boards specially for mums with 2 under 2 LO's, here is the link:   https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=20.0

lastly... she has been going to bed at 10 and sometimes as late as 12 and I can't seem to get her to go down any sooner than that ....

As, Sarah says in the prev post, it would be beneficial to pick at start and bedtime, your LO is most likely to be constantly overtired if she is only sleeping from 11 to 6am every night, ideally you are looking for a 7 or 8pm bedtime.

Ideally what you are looking for in your routine is this; If your Lo can't stay awake this long an 'A' time or can make it longer, just adjust it accordingly and do wind down as part of 'A' time;-

E: 7.00am
A: 7.45  - look to start wind down at 8.15am or as soon as you see sleep cues after the feed.*
S: 8.30

E: 10.00am
A: 10.45 - look to start wind down at 11.15am or as soon as you see sleep cues after the feed.*
S: 11.30

E: 1.00pm
A: 1.45 - look to start wind down at 2.05pm or as soon as you see sleep cues after the feed.*
S: 2.20

E: 4.00pm
A: 4.45 - look to start wind down at 5.05pm or as soon as you see sleep cues after the feed.*
S: 5.25  **CATNAP ONLY  45mins**

E: 6.00pm
A: bath at 7
E: 7.30pm
A: 10 mins  ***no activity as such, only wind down***
S: 8 -

10.30pm Dreamfeed https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54662.0  ****dreamfeed may take up to a week to see any benefits***   I think you are breastfeeding, however here is a link to dreamfeeding FAQ's in the bottlefeeding forum that will help you.

or

if you did not CF you 'E' times would be 7am,10,1,4,7pm + DF is between 10 + 11pm only. The 1am & 4.30am feeds look normal for a LO this age.

* I would put your LO in his cot 15 -20 min before his nap time to wind him down for sleeping. You could also just try sitting with your LO, have you read about the 4 S’s in Tracy’s books. If you miss her sleep window and he becomes overtired she will cry out of frustration, to avoid this I always follow the same wind-down routine, 4 S's
Set the stage - prepare you LO room for sleep; remove stimulation, darken room, lullaby....
Swaddle - (I used to swaddle now I use a gro'bag with his arms swaddled)
Sitting - Quietly without any stimulation, and when necessary..
Shush-pat

Is there anyway you can start the 4 S's 15 -20min before a nap? As part of your 'A' time

Have you tried an earlier bedtime? If, so how did it go? At the age your Lo is you should still expect 2 nighwakings or possibly more if your are breastfeeding.

Have you done the quiz to determine your LO's temperament? https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0

........I can't seem to get her to go down any sooner than that without drugging the poor child.  Although I have resorted to that a few times I am sure that no normal mother dreams of permanently putting her daughter on Benedryl. 

What did your doctor prescribe your LO Benedryl for?   Is this not an anti-hystamine for over 1year old LO's??? Sorry, I am from the UK and it is not something I am familiar with, but just looked it up ont he net here http://www.askdrsears.com/html/8/T088800.asp
When does the prescription end? do you need to return to your doctors to get your LO checked out after the course of Benadryl? What meds are you getting for your LO's reflux?  If you more support on reflux issues you can look here; https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0

Check with your doctor it is OK to end the doseage and then work on getting your LO to sleep independently, there are load of fabulous sleep moderators here who can help you - like Sarah suggests, you can use shush-pat. A good, solid and predictable bedtime routine is the key, so your Lo knows whats coming next and what to expect.



Look forward to seeing your routine and we can help you further    Sorry it's so long.

Lauren

[HeatherC]

Alisha-can you tell us what times she does eat, and what times she typically sleeps and for how long each time?  Try to be as specific as you can and maybe we can help you tweak her routine.  I think she is overtired by the evening and that is why she is having trouble settling for bedtime.  If she's waking at 6, you'll need to aim for a 6-7 pm bedtime.  Also, use of the pacifier is up to you.  My dd still takes one at sleep times only.  She stopped using it during awake time a long time ago, and I don't feel that it is an issue.  There are many ways to get rid of it down the road, and I wouldn't try to tackle to many things at once right now.

[LŠuren]

Alisha
How are you getting on?

[onemodestdiva]

Thank you all for your replies.  I have been having web troubles so I haven't had a chance to reply.  Sorry it has taken me so long.

The last couple of nights my dd has slept from 9:30 to 6:00.  but then during the day I feel like the only thing that I do is try to get her to go to sleep.  Lately she hasn't wanted to sleep unless she is being held which has added a whole new dimension to it all.  I will try to give you an idea about what our schedual is like but nothing seems to be regular and I am taking it day by day. 

Today:
A: 5:15,
S: 5:45
A: 6:15
S: 6:30
S and A intermittently with me in bed until 9. 

S: 10:45-1:30
A: 1:30

Of course this is more un-normal than every other day because I was up until 4 with insomnia and so I was willing to let her nurse and sleep all morning since I wanted to sleep...and we have church.  She slept while I held her through church.  I will try the tilted bed tonight and try the bed time routine and tell you how tomorrow shapes up and start from there. 

Thank you so much for all the help and for working me through this.. I am not quite sure where I would be wihtout this website. 

[LŠuren]

Hi Alisha

Thanks for coming back  hope you have your web troubles sorted 

Do you want us to help you more with the nap side of things? Have you tried any of the ideas we posted? How often does your Lo eat?
Is your Lo still getting Benedryl or is that still ong-going  it is definatelty better to start good independant sleeping habits without this prop.

Let me know if you need more help.

[onemodestdiva]

She seems to camel-up and cluster feed and then want to sleep for 4 hours or sometimes more.  When I did the quiz she is mostly a textbook baby although she has about 3 in each other category. 

Yes I am going to need help with naps I think but it is so up in the air right now with everything.  The doctor told me about benedryl but it is only supposed to be to get her used to a bedtime so there isn't any kind of regimin per se just as a last resort if I need it.  He also told me about Maalox for the reflux and it seems to work well but I havne't tried her sleeping lying down since we got her on it. 

I am going to try and put her down tonight with a routine along with her sister and see how it all goes

thanks
 

[LŠuren]

Alisha
I forgot to say yesterday, have you only been suffering from insomnia since the birth of your LO? Do you now that think could be a sign of PPD or the 'blues'? Have you had a post partum check-up from your  doctor yet?  You can find more info about PPD, etc here  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=60.0

I remember when DS was a newborn and he would get up every 3 hours during the night for a feed, he would go back to sleep and it would take me over an hour to get back to sleep myself, then he would get up for his next feed.   Not fun!
 
Do you think you may be able to get her on a routine that resembles the one I posted for you?  It may possibly help if you can feed at 3hr intervals. Rather than allowing her to snack (cluster feeding is different I the evening)- because that will cause more problems and sleep issues.


I will get someone to help with your LO sleep issues.

lauren

[onemodestdiva]

I don't have insomnia problems often.  only about 2 times since she was born so no worries there.  thanks for the link anyway. 
What do you do when they get up regularly at 6:00?  do you wait to feed them until 7 and then start the 3 hour thing?
She went to bed last night at 8:40 after we worked withher for an hour and slept until 3:45.  It was deffinately progress.  I can't wait until I don't feel like my entire day is spent trying to get her to sleep.

[KimberlyŪ]

If your LO is getting up consistently at 6AM everyday you have 3 opitions.

1) if she is quiet and contented to play in her crib till 6:30-7, leave her be untill she begines to cry and then start your day with the 3 hour EASY. Just make sure you time her first nap on the 6am wake up, not the first feed.
2) feed her and see if she will go back to sleep for a few more hours. My LO has done this, there are days when she still wakes at 6am, I usually feed her and she'll sleep till 8 or 9. I then start my day then.
3) simply start your day at this time. I realise its early, but if she may start to sleep later as her sleep gets more consistent.

The great thing about EASY is the flexability. Do what you think works best for her and for you.

As for the Benadryl, I highly recomend you stop using it. You LO will become dependent on it and will be unable to sleep without assistence. I'm suprised that a doctor told you to use it. When we had to use it for our DD when she was sick, our doctor told us to only use it if we had no other choise, and to stop as soon as she was well. Benadryl is not ment to be used as a sedative to make babies sleep and its very unhealthy.

As for your routine. What time does your older child go to bed? Any chance you can start a bedtime routine at 6-6:30 and have your LO into bed by 7pm?? I suspect your LO is locked in a cycle of overtiredness. Start pushing an earlier bedtime. 7pm is ideal for her age, it'll take a few days for the effects to fully show so keep with it. Your already making pretty good progress this will help you some more.

AS for yourself, go and talk to your doctor about your insomnia. Make sure your ok. You can't take care of anyone if you don't take care of yourself.

[annas mum]

Just wanted to chip in re ideas for where your LO could sleep other than the car seat. My DS  had reflux and would only sleep in the car seat just like yours. When we tried to prop up his mattress in the cot we found that we couldn't get it at a steep enough angle to be effective and he just kept sliding down to the bottom. What we did was use a pram top where you could ratchet up the back. We then padded the bottom with rolled up blankets so he had no where to slide down, and then put a blanket in U shape so the bottom of the U was under his bum  and the sides of the U where at his sides so he felt all snuggly and closed in  - a bit like the car seat, was the hope . We also swaddled him really tight, and THANK THE LORD it worked!!We also used white noise in the settling process which also helped tonnes. He slept in this until he grew out of it at approx 5 months and by then his reflux was under control and we were able to switch him to his cot.

HTH

Clare

Mum to Anna 30 months and Nathan 38 weeks

[onemodestdiva]

sorry to be absent for so long.  computer issues!    
I just wanted to post an update.  EASY is going well although we have hic-ups every now and again.  that is the major battle I am choosing to fight. 
We have stopped using the benedryl and think we have a substitute for the car seat.  I am trying to work on the rocking to sleep but we will fight that battle in a couple of weeks.
thanks everyone for your help.  It is lovely having the support.
alisha