Crib or Toddler's Bed?

[mbasilio]

DD has been sleeping with me on the bed since she was born even though we bought a crib for her.  She's 14 months old now and we think it's time for her to sleep by herself, especially since we're trying for a 2nd baby and the baby will probably be sleeping in the crib in our bedroom (no more bedsharing with future kids!). 

Questions:
1.  Should we put DD in her crib or buy a toddler's bed for her since she'll be moving out of it when the baby comes, hopefully next spring or summer?

2.  How do I even attempt to teach her to sleep indepently and alone???  Where do I start?  I've always laid down with her till she sleeps and I can then leave the room.  She'll wake up a few hours later, crying for me if she doesn't see me, but she goes back to sleep quite soon after I lie down with her.

Thanks!

[Florencia]

Sounds like Gradual Withdrawal might be the method for you. It is described on the FaQ section of this forum, under the Teaching Independent Sleep thread. You might also want to read about similar cases on both Tracy's books, the "Solves all your Problem" and "baby whisperer for toddlers".

I would go for a toddler bed, since she's already used to sleep in abed anyway. And it will save you from another transition (that is crib to bed). Let us know if you need extra info on this, i've just responded to a similar question under a thread about an 18mo that cosleeps with the parents. You might want to check that out also.

Good luck!

[tylersmommy]

You might consider going straight to a twin size bed with safety rails to save you yet another transition! Even though Tyler was older when we transitioned him to a twin bed, he still had a hard time climbing in and out so we put another mattress on the floor as a step. You could use an air mattress or even the crib mattress, or some folks just start out by putting the mattress she's going to sleep on right on the floor.

Like Florencia said, gradual withdrawal might be your best option!

[Tonya]

I agree with Melissa about the twin mattress as opposed to toddler bed.  The toddler bed uses a crib mattress, which as your lo gets older and heavier, won't support well enough for a good night's sleep.

Might as well go for it at this age!

Good luck!

[mbasilio]

OK.  I'll get a twin bed for DD and try the Gradual Withdrawal method.

For the Gradual Withdrawal method, do I start with the mattress on the floor in our bedroom or her bedroom?  I think it may be a little scary for her to be alone in her own room since she hasn't slept in there before.  I remember a case in Tracy's book where the parents started off with the mattress in their bedroom and slowly moved it to the boy's room on his bed and the father slept on an airbed beside him.  What should I do if my DD keeps standing up and wants to be held while I'm holding her hand?  Do I just keep doing PD? 

And I have another question...My DD always whimpers and cries when she is lying on the bed.  She would be chewing her finger at the same time.  She'll also move around the bed, tossing and turning a lot before settling down.  It takes her 20 min to sometimes an hour before she falls asleep.  If it's bad, 2-3 hours.  She has been doing this for the longest time but I don't really remember when it all started.  I wasn't sure if she was hungry, teething or just her way of soothing herself to sleep, so I've tried feeding her more and even giving her Tylenol.  She's still chewing and crying so I assume that it's her way of getting herself to sleep and learned to tune out her crying and just wait for her to fall asleep finally.  When she was younger, she used to crawl around the bed and tried walking around the bed, before lying down and  do her crying/chewing thing.  So I just thought she's a Spirited baby who needs to work off some energy before sleeping.  But I'm beginning to be a little doubtful about my conclusion because we took a long trip to Asia and I don't see any other babies/toddlers doing the same thing when they go to sleep.  My DD was making so much noise for such a long time before finally falling asleep. And she also has this habit of crying rather loudly every time she wakes up.  But she goes back to sleep most of the time by herself after about a minute or 2.  I'm wondering if I've really messed up her sleeping habits because the other kids on the plane didn't cry that loudly when they wake up and not that frequently.  They don't move around as much while sleeping too.  My DD moves around almost the entire bed while sleeping and when she was on the plane, I had to lift up my legs and put my feet against the wall in front of us (we had bulkhead seats) so that she had more space to move around while sleeping (she ended up crawling all the way down my legs and sleeping there a few times)!  Before I fugured that out, she  was crying so hard when I tried keeping her on my lap.  She squirmed and wriggled and cried, landed on the floor and refused to be picked up.

Is my baby normal??? 

[Florencia]

  To answer your question, yes... Im afraid you've got one squirmy monkey on your hands but nothing that sounds scary or terrifying behaviour. Just a normal kiddo that is loud to go to sleep and wake up.  A sample of toddlers taken out of a plane is just not enough, remember that spirited kiddos are a small percentage of the total population (about 10-15%) so normal yes, common, well maybe not that much (and it always seems to be a gang of angel babies when you're dealing with your spirited wee one LOL).

So to get started with Gradual Withdrawal, I'd start cold turkey in her room. IF tears are to be expected you might want them to work for the right purpose . As long as you're next to her, she should be comforted by your presence and since you've been traveling for long times and periods, she shouldn't be too bothered about sleeping in a different room other than yours.

Then as for her loud "soothing", I wouldn't worry a bit as long as she doesn't need you through the process. She can whine, fuss, chew and do whatever she wants and needs in order to relax and soothe and spirited little ones seem to need some steaming off before unplugging. You mentioned she cried, but was it like a waaaa waaa cry? even if she's loud, i bet her cries are different than when she really needs you (say she's hurt or in pain or scared). The mantra cry, that cry some babies/toddlers use in order to go to sleep is more monotone and different than an actual cry. IF she's doing that mantra cry and is not upset or disturbed, just let her be, and don't interfere with that. It is totally normal and we're all entitled to do what suits us best (some people read, some other watch tv and some other do a craft... she likes to chew her hand and shout a bit... it doesn't sound weird or strange to me at all).

Now, if she needs you through the soothing process then we might have to think of a plan to help her wind down without taking so long and without much intervention from your side.

I hope you find some of this helpful and please keep us posted through your Sleep Training Process... we'll be here to support you and come up with some tips to make it more bearable. It shouldn't take you long if you're consistant. Good luck!

[imsmum]

Regarding the difficulty settling she may be overtired or it may just be her way of settling but 2-3 hours of squirming does seem like a lot.  What is her sleep schedule like?

[mbasilio]

Thank you for your replies! I'm relieved to hear that my baby's doing ok    Here's her schedule on a good day:

7:30    Wakes up and takes a bottle
8:30    Breakfast and followed by activities
11:00  Lunch
12:00  Naps for 2-3 hours (no problems with naps)
3:00    Wakes up and have a snack
6:00    Dinner
7:30    Bedtime routine
8:00    Bedtime (usually asleep in 20 min to an hour.  sometimes refuses to sleep till 11 or 12!)

Her schedule has been a little off since we came back from our trip.  Sometimes she wakes up at 4 am and goes back to sleep at 8. 

When we try to put her in bed earlier, she'll just do her chewing and crying thing till about 8:30 or 9 before falling asleep. 

[Florencia]

Your schedule sounds good to me, even if you put her down at 8 and she goes to sleep at 9. That's perfectly acceptable if she's soothing in her room, and does not need your presence. Keep up at putting her down for the night at 8 pm. Do not try to put her down later in the hopes she'll settle sooner, cause she might get overtired.

Now, taking up to 11 or 12 in the night to settle is a whole different world. Waking at 4 am and going back down till 8 am... how long it's been since you came back from the asian trip? she might have some jetlag and this whole schedule/timings confusion. If it's been more than a month after coming back home then we can think of something else. HAve you checked with the ped her condition after coming back? any stomach bugs or virus that might be weakening her or disturbing her sleep? just playing a guessing game here.

How often does this days occur? (That is, the ones she takes forever to settle and the longish night wakings)- how do you handle them? have you been able to associate this type of days to some activities (park in the evening, visiting family?) or meals (spiced ones, lactose or any type of fruits/veggies?). Do you handle night wakings the same?

I'll be waiting for your response. How does the weaning of parent's bed have been going?