We have been struggling for ~4-5 weeks trying to get DD on a nap schedule - and a schedule, period. We successfully implemented PU/PD for night time sleep, and now she sleeps like a champion (put down awake in crib, falls to sleep on her own, sleeps for ~8+ hours before waking). The problem is daytime sleep. We tried to switch to a 4-hour EASY - she is 6 months old - and the only part of the routine that's scheduled is her feeds.
THe problem is compounded by the fact that often, when she awakens at 4:30 (I feed her then because it's been more than 9 hours since her last feed, typically), she is awake for the day. Then, she usually won't go down again until ~8-8:30 for a morning nap (which usually lasts about an hour). I've tried wake2sleep, by going in at 3:30 (an hour before her usual 4:30 wake up), but it's succeeded in moving the wake up to 3:30 instead of 4:30. If she awakens at 3:30 instead of 4:30, she will go back to sleep until a more humane hour. If the awake time is 4:30 she's awake for the day. Thus the "exhausted mommy" part.
I spent two good weeks trying to implement the 4-hour schedule... the minute I saw tired signs, I would start a nap wind-down process of reading, rocking, and quiet time with the blinds drawn in her room. Then the usual swaddle for a nap, and the fighting and crying begins. On Stacy's advice we tried both lengthening and shortening the A, but she doesn't really sleep until the A time has stretched to 3+ hours, and then I'm afraid she's collapsing out of exhaustion. Despite this, the nap time might be an hour at best. There hasn't been a 2-hour nap in more than 2 weeks. I've spent about the past week trying to get her down at the 2-hour mark, but have generally given up after she cries and fights for 20-30 minutes. When I do un-swaddle her to pick her up, she immediately rubs her eyes and pulls at her ears... so it's not that she isn't tired.
I just spent over an hour doing PU/PD, shh-pat, talking to her... to try to get her down for a nap. She finally collapsed. I am terrified that her crying, writhing, fighting... is just going to give her bad associations with her crib, which I don't want... I don't understand how what I just did is any different from CIO - my presence was NOT calming or reassuring. All of this is compounded by the fact that I am doing this all myself - DH has a demanding work schedule and is a triathlete doing Ironman next weekend, so all his time is spent at work. I am trying to not be resentful. That adds another factor - we will be traveling for a week and I am not eager to see what that will hold.
Please, please give me some suggestions what to do... I am beside myself.