I just wanted to let you know that I totally sympathize with what you are feeling and your desire to fix it quickly. I have twin boys who will be six months old this weekend (they were born at 35 weeks). They have been struggling with 45 minute naps for 2.5 months. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I tried w2s and pat/shhh and even pu/pd for weeks. Rarely did anything work. I absolutely exhausted myself. I was sure that I had done something to cause this and that there was something I could do to fix it. However, after trying until I collapsed in tears on several occassions, I am convinced that this is just something they need to go through. My Ethan is doing much better now. Our schedule is the same as yours and he takes a good morning nap now about 75% of the time. If he wakes after 45 minutes, I go in and give him a stuffed dog that he likes and rub his head. About 50% of the time he will fall back to sleep. If not, I don't struggle anymore. What is interesting is that he can now tolerate being up for at least 2.5 hours, even on only a 45 minute nap. I account all of this to him just reaching a new level of maturity. The afternoon nap is still tougher - he gets a good nap about 50% of the time now. But again, he can tolerate being awake much better now even on a short nap. Then he usually catches up with his afternoon "catnap" which can actually be anywhere from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours. None of this has ever affected his night sleep. My Lucas, however, had a much harder time with his naps, and for the last 3 weeks I have let him nap in his swing. I know this is not recommended, but honestly, with two of them I had to just accept what worked. Lucas is a very spirited and sensitive kid and cannot tolerate getting only short naps. In the swing he gets two 1.5 hour naps with no struggles. Both he and I are much happier. I vowed that I would begin weening him off of the swing after he turned 6 months, so we'll see what happens next week. But honestly, my advice is just to do the best you can - it is so very hard with two. Keep youself sane, and know that this too shall pass...
Jessica