Please Help ..... Short Naps and Night Time Sleep

[shoequeen]

I really need advice on how to get my LO to sleep. 

He is 11 weeks old and I'm not sure if he is using the paci as a prop.  Basically, he only naps for very short periods (approx. 30 mins if that) and at night time we are up about 6 times a night putting the paci back in. 

Our routine is as follows:-

7:00  Feed 6oz
8:30  Put down for nap.  Goes off okay with paci but wakes after approx 30 mins.  If I go in to replace he doesn't go back off to sleep again.  I've tried shsh pat but he gets really annoyed with it to the point where he screams and makes himself sick.  We will then be up until his next feed.

10:30  Feed 60z - he often falls asleep on this bottle as he is so tired
11:30  Put down for nap.  Again, off with paci no problem but wakes after 30 mins.  I can go back in to replace paci and he may drop off again, but not for long.  Awake until next feed.

14:00  Feed 60z - sleepy feed
15:30  Put down for nap - as above.

18:00  Bath - after this bath he always has a major meltdown!!  I think because he is so tired. 
18:30  Feed 60z

19:00  Asleep with paci. He goes off okay with paci after this time.  He then stays asleep and we dream feed him at 11:00

23:00  Dream feed.  He only ever takes a small amount at this feed - aprox 2 - 4oz

Then he generally sleeps until about 2/3 a.m.  If we offer him a feed he only eats about 2 oz so I don't think he is waking through hunger.  We will then be up and down about 6 times per night replacing the paci. 

Does it sound like the paci is a prop?  He sleeps well in the evening without it, but not during the night and at nap times.  We tried to go cold turkey with him this past week, but we only lasted 4 days of the screaming.  I know it was wrong to give in but he was getting so upset that he was choking and being sick.  He hasn't found his hands yet to sooth himself and he doesn't have the ability to self sooth I feel it is cruel to take away his paci.  I have being trying shsh pat for the last 4 days but it didn't calm him down at all.  So this afternoon I gave it him back, but he still only slept for 30 mins.  When I put it back in he wouldn't go back off again. 

I'm not sure that we leave him long enough before going in to replace the paci - a few ah, ah, ah's and we are in there sticking it back in!!  We always put him to sleep fully swaddled.   

I feel like such a failure that I can't get my baby to sleep well.  I know that he is having short naps and not sleeping well during the night because he is tired, but how do I turn it around.  I am so in need of advice. 

Thanks

[chell]

HI shoequeen, sorry to hear that things are tough for you at the moment. I think you are right, that there are 2 things going on  - your lo seems to be dependent on the paci, plus he is well overtired. This accounts for the major meltdown by bedtime. He needs to learn how to get himself off to sleep independently. It looks as though he is able to stay asleep for the first part of his sleep cycle, but has difficulty in entering a deeper sleep. I don't have experience of using a paci, so you may want to check out the props board too, but I don't think going cold turkey is going to be the best way for your or your lo.

If you are able to get him to have more sleep during the day, you may actually find that he stays asleep for longer anyway.

For a 3 month old, they should be getting approx. 10 hours sleep at night and 5 hours of naps in total.
Awake periods should not be longer than about 1.5 hours.

I would suggest that you keep activity times short, not too much stimulation, watch him like a hawk for the very first sleepy cue, and swaddle immediately. Take him to a darkened room, and then start to pat/sshh him while you still hold him. Place him in the crib, on the point he becomes quiet and sleepy.

If you know that he wakes at 30 mins exactly, try going in 5 mins before, place a hand gently on him , and as he starts to stir apply gentle but firm pressure, this may help to send him into a deeper sleep.

HTH