I can't figure out the difference between his naps & bedtime!

[M and N's Mom]

My DS is 6.5 months.  He puts himself to sleep for his 2 naps, but can't for bedtime.  At naptimes, I go into his room, close the blinds, turn on the fan, sing one song, and into his crib he goes.  I just leave.  He rolls around, sometimes complains for a bit, and goes to sleep.  At bedtime, I do the same thing, and I do leave, but I end up going back very soon as he really cries.  What happens is I shh/pat him to sleep (I know this is wrong, but I don't know what else to do).  He is fine before we go into his room, but gets very worked up in his crib.  I don't pick him up, just hold him on his side and shh and pat/rock him in the crib.  If I stop before he is almost asleep, he immediately starts crying again.  I think I am becoming a prop, but how come I'm a prop at bedtime but not at naps?  What can I do about it?

Here is our routine if it is needed:

7:30 BF
8:30 Solids
10:30-11:30 Nap

11:30 BF
1:30 Solids
2:30-4:00 Nap

6:45 BF, change, etc.
7:15 Into Bed, I leave, but go back
7:40 Asleep (we hope)

Thanks.

[calebs mommy]

It looks like you have a longer stretch between the last nap and bedtime, than any other awake time throughout the day.  Does you little one handle that longer stretch okay?  Maybe he is overtired by the time you put him to bed, thus making it hard for him to go to sleep on his own.  What if you moved the last feeding up and had him in bed at 7:00 instead of 7:15?  Just a thought.   

[M and N's Mom]

Thanks for the response.  Maybe I'll try that tonight.  He doesn't seem cranky before bed, but maybe he is just overtired enough.

[calebs mommy]

Let me know how he does. 

[M and N's Mom]

Well, last night was slightly better, but still not perfect.  I put him to bed at 7:00 and left the room.  He played and fussed a bit for about 20-25 minutes and I thought he might put himself to sleep.  But, then he started crying pretty hard.  So I went in and did have to shh/pat him to sleep but it only took about 3-5 minutes.  He did more of it himself, but still not all of it.  We'll try again tonight and see what he does.

[calebs mommy]

Glad to hear last night was a little better.  I would give it a few days for him to adjust.  Good luck.  Keep me posted. 

[calebs mommy]

M and Ns Mom- how have your bedtimes been the last few nights?  Any improvement? 

[M and N's Mom]

Thanks for checking in!  Unfortunately, no, there has been no improvement  .  In fact the past few days he has been REALLY crying at bedtime.  The only change, not good, is that he is having trouble putting himself to sleep for some of his naps too.  He seems to be losing his ability to put himself to sleep.  I posted on the pu/pd forum to see if I should be using it somehow again.  Just not sure.....

[calebs mommy]

I hope you can get some help from the pu/pd forum.  Sorry things are getting rough.  Okay, I have one more thought, if you are willing to play around with bedtime again.  Since it is getting worse instead of better, maybe you can rule out overtiredness at bedtime and go towards not tired enough at bedtime.  What if you extended his bedtime a little later than 7:15?  Maybe 7:30?  He could be crying because he isn't ready to go to sleep yet.  Just a suggestion.  These babies always keep us guessing, don't they?  But, they sure are worth it!

[M and N's Mom]

Thanks...I may play with his bedtime again a bit.  We are going to try pupd as I have figured out pat/shh is becoming a prop for him, so we are not going to pat or jiggle AT ALL, only pupd and put a hand on him and talk quietly, only until  he stops crying. 

They sure do keep us on our toes    Oh well, life would be boring without them!!

[calebs mommy]

I am glad you got some help with pu/pd.  Good luck to you! 

[M and N's Mom]

Just thought I'd post an update in case anyone is reading this.  I still don't know exactly what is different between ds's naps and bedtime, but we have found something that has helped.  I was NEVER a parent who wanted to rely on TV but our D's would not sit to do a typical wind down at bedtime (books, songs, cuddles, etc).  All he did was squirm...therefore, not winding down. 

We have found that if we let him watch 5-10 minutes of a Baby Einstein video after feeding, changing, etc., before we put him in his crib, we have a bit of fussing where we still have to help him, but we used to have 30 minutes of screaming each night.  The video must allow him to "zone out" before going in his crib.  So, if that's what works for him as a wind down, so be it...sure beats the nightly screaming!

[Ami ~ 3 girls' mom]

 
We have found that if we let him watch 5-10 minutes of a Baby Einstein video after feeding, changing, etc., before we put him in his crib, we have a bit of fussing where we still have to help him, but we used to have 30 minutes of screaming each night.  The video must allow him to "zone out" before going in his crib.  So, if that's what works for him as a wind down, so be it...sure beats the nightly screaming!

Hmm, I don't know where I've been that I haven't seen this thread, but Savannah is the same way at bedtime.  She is teething, maybe she needs some classical music too?     Thanks!

[calebs mommy]

Glad to hear you found something that works!  Thanks for the update!