Author Topic: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??  (Read 1695 times)

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Offline jmosery

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I'm just starting to form some type of routine for my 3 1/2 mo old

Last night he ate at 8 and fell asleep by 9. he's a bit congested so took him a little longer

he woke up at 1 am. i thought he was hungry, made a bottle, at 2 oz. back asleep

same thing at 5 am

at 6 he was crying, went in, rolled the stroller(sleeping in his stroller since he's congested) twice and fell back asleep

at 8 i woke him. want him on an 8-8 routine. when i woke him at 8 am to start the day. he wasnt hungry

i left at 8:35 for work and he still hadn't eaten

what do I do if he doesn't want to eat when he should??

he is on NO ROUTINE whatsoever right now. I' work full time and he's at home at with my housekeeper all day.

i know he can go all night without eating, but not sure where to go from here??

he is NOT a good napper AT ALL.

jaime
Jaime

Michael- 7/8/06
Natalie- 7/8/07

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Offline kgalgirl

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2006, 16:42:00 pm »
Hi,

My baby is about a month older than yours and we've been doing a 4hour E.A.S.Y. for 10 days now.  I have seen dramatic changes.  I know it can be overwhelming at first.  After reading through BW I felt like I had been doing every thing wrong.  The book however stresses the ROUTINE, you must get your baby on a routine.  Also an adequate SLEEP RITUAL. This will be difficult because you are working full time.

I have comitted to not leaving my house for 2 weeks and living and breathing by the ROUTINE.  The morning of day one I got up 15 minutes early before waking my baby who was finally sleeping.  I cried my eyes out because I didn't think I could do it, I was so tired.  I dried my eyes, took a deep breathe and got started.  The good news if you and your baby's daytime cargiver sticks to it, it does work!  By day 3 my son was sleeping through the night, by day 4 he started napping with less and less intervention and here I am on day 10 typeing this reply while he is sleeping peacefully. 

After reading the book I wouldn't say that my results are typical.  My baby did have somewhat of routine before, it just wasn't working.  If you are starting from scratch the book says it can take a week or more.  The key is consistency, feed at the same times - sleep at the same times with the same sleep ritual - and activities should be geared toward not winding your baby up right before sleeps.  We do the most stimulating play right after feeds and then start to wind it down as we get closer to sleep times with independent play and quiet time, then the sleep ritual.  BW  provides a sample outline of times of day. 

Since your not able to be home during the day, will your housekeeper read BW? Will he/she commit to the "cause?"  I feel confident that the BW plan works if someone can implement it for your child.

Good Luck!

Kelly

Offline jmosery

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2006, 17:17:46 pm »
KELLY- thanks

my housekeeper doesn't speak much english at all. my son will speak spanish to her and english to me, so reading the book isn't possible

i woke my son up this morning at 8 and told my housekeeper that at 9:30 I wanted him to go down for a nap

he refused to eat at 8 and when i went home at 11 am for lunch which i normally do, she said he wouldn't eat till 10 and fell asleep from the bottle afterwards

so he went from 8pm last night till 10 am this morning without eating(except for the 2oz. he ate at 1am and 5am when i "thought" he was hungry)

so i know he can go long without eating

but what do I do when he doesn't eat at the given times

she has him on a 3 hour feeding schedule during the day but if he's napping, she doesn't wake him because if we did, he would't eat

so how do you get passed that and start a routine??
Jaime

Michael- 7/8/06
Natalie- 7/8/07

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Offline Meggie

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2006, 17:55:03 pm »
When your LO woke up at 1am did you try to shh/pat him back to sleep before you offered a bottle?  He may not have been hungry at this feed, and that may have affected the rest of the night.  5am is typical for a LO to wake for a feed.  I only ever offer DD 3 ounces in the night to hold her over for the morning.  Have you tried a dream feed?
Meghan, Mommie to Baby Kaitlyn


Offline jmosery

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2006, 18:16:59 pm »
MEGGIE- yesterday was the first day i reread BW and decided that I needed to change things

i've been thinking about it for a while. i was home for 3 months, i'm so sorry i didn't think to do these things earlier

anyways, no, i have never tried to settle DS at night other than a bottle

but now i can tell when he's hungry and when he's needing something else.

will try other ways tonight

have never done a dream feed. for about a month now he's been eating at 7-9pm and sleeping till 1-3 sometimes later.

i find that "if" he wakes for a dream feed, he eats throughout the night

that feeding is the first one he learned to skip so i'm afraid to reintroduce it. you know??
Jaime

Michael- 7/8/06
Natalie- 7/8/07

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Offline jmosery

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2006, 18:18:20 pm »
what happens when you wake your baby in the morning like i did for DS this morning and he wasn't hungry?

was it because  he ate at 1 and 5, even though it was only 2-3 oz.
Jaime

Michael- 7/8/06
Natalie- 7/8/07

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Offline * Paula *

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2006, 18:43:44 pm »
It could have been that your DS was not hungry cause he ate 2 during the night.  It could also be that as you said he is congested and is not feeling very well.

I found that when my DS woke in the morning, I would have to leave him for at least 1/2 an hour before feeding - he would never eat straight after he wakes, and is still like that now.

I do agree with Kelly, that getting your DS onto a structured routine will help in the long run and it will be a lot easier to read your lo's cues.

Have a look at this link - I have put the link of a Four Month, as your lo will soon be 4 months.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=69369.0

If you have any queries, pop over to the EASY board where we can help you out.

HTH

Paula x
Thomas Michael - 12 July 2005
Abigail Louise - 23 October 2007

Offline LŠuren

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2006, 19:24:23 pm »
Just a suggestion...

...can you get your housekeeper to write down what your LO does al day in terms of Eating, sleeping and activity. You may find he is in a routine or at least a pattern and you can't see it.

Tracey always advised you observed your Lo before starting EASY anyway.
Lauren x


Offline jmosery

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2006, 19:36:51 pm »
yes, I plan on having her do that. thank you
Jaime

Michael- 7/8/06
Natalie- 7/8/07

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Offline LŠuren

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2006, 19:45:03 pm »
Feel free to post a couple of days, so we can look at it for you.  :D
Lauren x


Offline kgalgirl

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Re: What to do when wake an infant in the morning and they are not hungry??
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2006, 20:29:34 pm »
Hello again,

Like the others suggested observe or have your housekeeper observe when your baby is actually eating.  When I was journaling my LO, not only did I write down when I fed him, I made notes about whether or not he was really eating or just playing around, if he was snacking but not taking a full meal, or if he was passifying himself.  It became clear he could go 3 1/2 to 4 hours between actually feeds so I cut out the in-betweeners.  I know this can be hard especially if your baby cries and sounds convinced that he is starving but chances are he probably isn't and can be distracted with a toy or a game.  Also the book outlines how to gradually increase times between feeds so your not asking your baby to go cold turkey.

Basically I follow the outline in the book:

7am rise and shine - it is time to eat, in the beginning I gave my DS a 45 minute feeding window because he would play around, after a few days I cut it down to half an hour, and now he eats efficiently. If you close the feeding window and make him wait until the next feed time he is likely to eat.  Of course if my child is screaming for food and can't be distracted this would be hard and I did not have to deal with that.

7:30 activity time tailored to have him calmer as we get closer to his morning nap ending with his sleep ritual (watching for his sleep cues)

9am naptime

11am I wake him up even if it took the majority of his naptime to get him to sleep in the first place.  I know this sounds cruel (to both of you) but it is the only way I could get him on a schedule. I feed him. In the beginning again I gave him a 45 minute window, then 30 minutes and now he eats efficiently

11:30 activity time (SAA)

1pm naptime

3pm wake and feed (SAA)

3:30pm activity (SAA)

5pm optional catnap - in the beginning naptimes were spent doing more intervention than sleeping, so my baby really needed a catnap, now he is sleeping an hour and 45 minutes to two hours at both his morning and afternoon naps so if he doesn't appear tired (no sleep signs)  I skip it. If he is tired then I'll lay him down using the same sleep ritual.

6:45pm feed, followed by bath, followed by sleep ritual and sleep - he is usually down around 7:45pm

11pm dream feed, you can also dream feed at 9pm if your child is going through a growth spurt - the book calls this "tanking up", after 11 if he wakes up I don't respond unless he starts to cry and then I try to comfort without picking him up.  Only once did I have to do PU/PD and not for very long.

Its not quite as clock work as it reads because everyday is not the same and I have to pay attention to my DS cues but it gives you a general idea.  Also I've been really lucky my LO did not cry much for food and quickly fell into the routine.  I know I would have a hard time not feeding him if I thought he was genuinely hungry.  I've read some other post on weaning where the mothers suggest giving less food or watered down food to tide their LOs over while trying to get them to go longer without eating.

Bottom line it is going to take some time and a lot of consistency.

I hope this is helpful!  Kelly