Need nap help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mezzacca41]

I am so frustrated.  I do not know what to do anymore!  I wrote to a few different boards and really did not get much advice.  My dd was in NICU after removing part of her lung a few weeks ago. She has been home for two weeks now.  She use to nap great and easily, but now it is torture.  I have spent the past few days trying to get her to nap all day long. I feel that is the only thing I am accomplishing. If you want to call that anything.  I feel bad for my ds who i am ignoring because of her.  She is 5 months old.  Yesterday, I put her down and made her stay there for 1 1/2 hours twice.  She fell asleep off and on.  Then in the afternoon when she was suppose to catnap she took and 1 1/2 by herself. it started in the car on the way home from the park and then i ran out to the store and my dh stayed home with the kids.  I was shocked when i got back and the baby was still sleeping.  I actually had to wake her up, too.  Last night was one of her best nights since she came home from the hospital. She woke once at her usual time 2:30 and 5:30 and then moaned and soothed herself back to sleep. She woke up at 6:30 to nurse and went back to sleep until 8:15.  I was a chaperone for my ds preschool firehouse trip and she went with me.  She fell asleep at 10:50 and then woke up at 11:30 (in carseat)  and would not go back down.  I tried again at 12:30 and she basically cried for 45 min.  So i nursed her and then woke her to change diaper and she then fell asleep right after and slept for 20 min. and started screaming and crying.  I stayed with her for 15 min. and just got her back down for a I don't know how long.  I am at my wits end!!!  My ds keeps asking when i can play with him and not try to get the baby to sleep.  Please help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mom to M&M]

Is your DD in any discomfort from the surgery thus causing sleep issues? Have you also tried the Getting Back on Track board? How long is she awake for before you put her down for naps?

[mezzacca41]

No, she is off all medication for at least 10 days.  She was never really bothered by after the first 2 days.  Thank goddness!!!!  She is usually up for 2 hours and sometimes a little more.  I have posted on getting back on track board, too.  I am so tired  myself.  I have been falling asleep while i have been singing to my ds at bedtime.  Last night, i went to bed right after him and told dh to wake me at 10:30 so i could nurse dd.  We just moved back into our house 5 wweks ago and dd christening is next weekend and i wanted to get our personal items out and decorate the house but i am too tired!  This not sleeping is getting to me, too!!!!!!!!!
Danielle

[Mom to M&M]

Big hugs to you - sounds like quite a rough patch! Could she be going through a developmental milestone? I know my DD's sleep got really wonky right before she started rolling, crawling, etc. Also - you say she woke at 6:30 to nurse and went back to sleep until 8:15 - that could be hurting things too - it really might help to consider 6:30 the start of her day then and go from there - delay first nap until 8:30 (let her sleep until 10), second nap from 12:15-1:45 and catnap from 4-4:45/5... Does that sound possible to you?

[mezzacca41]

I am not a morning person at all.  My ds was always a late sleeper and 4 years later he still is and we love it.  He is a night owl.  We call him the energizer bunny. He will keep on going until he is in bed or in his carseat.  My ds has preschool from 8:40-11:10 three mornings a week, so an 8:30 naptime would not work.  Before surgery, it was working well.  She would wake up at 8:15 and we would take him to school.  She would take a 45 min nap at 10:15 or a little earlier and then pick him up and then her afternoon nap was 2 hours and then a 45 min. to an hour catnap.  That seemed to work well and she was sleeping from 9:00 and had df at 11:00 and slept until 8-8:30 every day and then woke to bf at that time.  It seemed to work.  I figured morning nap was short because she was sleeping in and made up for it in afternoon.  Today, she woke at 7:00 and for the first time ever stayed awake.  She actually fell asleep on the way to bring my ds to preschool and then she woke up when I brought him into school and then fell asleep when I drove home and stayed asleep in her carseat for an hour.  I wasn't about to move her.  Then after ds school we went to a friends house and I put her in carseat at 12:15 and she slept to 2:00 when I was leaving.  I do not know how long she would have stayed asleep if I didn't move her to my car.  Then she fell asleep at 4:45- 5:30 for catnap and then to sleep for night at 8:00.  We'll see how she does tomorrow.  But I have to drive to the Children's hospital two hours away for a post-op check up.  Then we are gojg to my parents for the night so we don't have to drive another two hours after the appointment.  Maybe she should nap in her carseat. I couldn't believe how well she napped in there. Is this a bad thing?

[Mom to M&M]

I'm not a morning person either - but many of our LOs are! I've tried to change this but I can't - for now, my DD is just an early riser - 6:30/6:45 on a great day. My DD also used to nap very well in her carseat and/or stroller - I think it's mainly because it keeps them so snug and comfy and stops them from jolting. It's not a bad thing, per se, but not the only way you want them to nap later or you'll have other problems down the road. I used to limit car seat/stroller naps to one per day tops and make sure her other naps were in her crib so she learned to sleep well in there too.

[yaya]

Hi mezzacca41! Just read your post, sorry you're having such a rough time. I just wanted to say that my DS was in hospital at 4 mo and it TIOTALLY messed him up, for months afetrwards I did very single accidental parentign you could imagine as I knew he wa sin pain so now I'm in the process of undoing it ALL! I was so stressed as DS used to wake every 1.5-2hr even at 6 and 7mo, it was exhausting. When I spoke to my ped he told me that a lot of babies and children have a really ahrd time with hospitals, they seem to remember and a whole string of fear and seperation anxiety issues coem into play. Also my son got used to me being with him ALL THE TIME when we were in hospital which has made him extra clingy.

What does your routine look like?

I know the sleep training is wearing but its the only way to teach your LO to sleep independently , if she isnt able to do this she is prob cying for you to help her get back to sleep.

HTH and let me know if theres anything else i can do

[mezzacca41]

   I am glad that your sons surgery was fine.  It is nice to hear from someone in the same boat as me.  How is he doing now with his sleeping?  Can you give me any advice or tips that you learned?           Our schedule is very rough right now.  I can go with her flow.  She actually slept pretty good last night.  Went down at 8:00 and woke a few times. My dh soothed her back to sleep.  I nursed her at 10:45 and she slept until 5:00!  She did wake briefly at 2 ish and soothed herself.  At 5 she needed help so I gave her binky.  Then she was up at 6 and soothed herself back down.  At 6:50 she was up and ready to nurse.  And then she went back to sleep again and is still sleeping now.  It is a little after 8.  This is kinda of my day.  Not today because we have the long trek back to the hospital for a post-op check up.
I have been writing down my schedule for the past few weeks and it is really all over the board.  I make sure she goes down 2-21/2 hours after waking up and then I watch for signs if she has short naps.  I loved her routine before and she kind of made it up herself. 
I do have her nap at least once in her crib, but it is usually twice.  But having another one in tow does not allow me the luxury of always having her nap in crib at home like I did with ds.  I cannot totally stop his activites because of her. They have certainly slowed down a little because of her but that isn't fair to him to have us house bound for naptimes.  If she naps at home at least once a day she will get use to the idea of napping in her crib as well as on the go.  I do not want a baby that stops napping at the age of one that I am sure many people know quite a few.  I have seen this with most of my friends second children.  A friend that has three gave me the advice of getting them use to napping in the stroller because when they get down to one nap and you have to do someithing with the older child the baby will be fine with taking a nap during a soccer game, karate or whatever.  So I am giving her both of these types of naps.  But what I need is to get her and me some regular sleep.  I do not know how to get back to her old schedule or get her sleeping for longer periods during the day.  Any helpful hints would be great!!!

[yaya]

Hi there! Glad thing are looking up! How old is your LO? Sorry you might have already said If you want to tackle nightwakings altogether, you need to teach her independent sleep and while its good to have naps outdoors so she gets used to it, if you do this all the time she wont know how to go to sleep on her own.

there are many methods and tips if you are interested in sleep training to be applied as per age.

I can only admire you for doign it with 2 kids, very brave!!

to answer a few of your Qs, things with DS are ok, we'd pretty much got the sleep sorted  but then he caught a bad cold and is now a bit of a handful but I will go back to sleep training when he is over his cold.

My most imp advice is to get her on an EASY schedule as it will help A LOT, I know its hard with 2 kids but on other boards they have plenty of excellent advice. Once shes on a routine it will be easier to tackle the sleep issues. for example, for naps, you can try wake to sleep to extend them or adjusting Activity times.

HTH

[mezzacca41]

My dd is 5 months old.  She was on 4 hour EASY before surgery with a late wake up in the morning.  She is actually still sleeping.  I am about to wake her since we are leaving in 2 1/2 hours for our fun 2 hour drive.  This way she will  sleep in car.  I had her on the 4 hour EASY and she would take one nap wherever we were.  The pool, park or friends house and the other two at home.  Well, at that time we were living at friends house while we had our house renovated.  But she transitioned into her new home well 5 weeks ago and then the surgery ruined everything we had going for us.  I would love some tips but I do have to work around my ds preschool Mon., Tues. and Wed. from 8;40- 11:10.  And swim lessons Wed at 5:15, so we are out from 4:45- 6:15.  She usually will start catnap at that time or take during swim lessons. Thanks Danielle

[yaya]

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10385.0

Here are a few routines of LOs your babies age, if you find one that you think may work for you let me know and I can help you adapt it to suit your DD. My suggestion would be to plam nps around your son's activities so she can take them then, Also is there anyway you can get a babysitter (maybe family member) to watch DD when ur are out with your son? this way she can take her nap in her cot?
How does she sleep at night?