4 months & still protesting before naps?

[croft]

Hi,

My boy is now 16 weeks old and still cries/protests before his naps. He is still on a 3 hour EASY (he has silent reflux and feeds better sleepy so we wake him to feed him every 3 hours). His awake time is generally 1.1/4 to 1.1/5 hours, he seems to show tired signs (ie rub eyes) around this point and as soon as we wind him down and even take him into his room he begins fussing...then arching, kicking and really crying this can go on between 10 and 40 minutes. I always pick him up to calm him down, if I can, and then try again. I find his protests worse now and wonder if it is because he is wiser to what you are doing. He used to just do the tired cry, but now it is more arching and a louder cry.

I thought at first, he would grow out of this, but now he is 4 months I wonder why? I have tried extending his A time, and also tried shortening it, but neither works. His fussiness/crying is always worse in the afternoon. He goes to bed after a bath and feeds and goes to sleep without crying, same with during the night feed.

He sleeps better in the mornings, unless his nap is short, which he will then sleep longer. He does 30 minute naps, (often falls back again for 30 sometimes 40 and sometimes 1 hour. He totals 3-4 hours per day and 6+2 hours per night.

I am so desperate that he is still crying like that and wonder why? I have been racking my brain with it. It makes me sick to the stomach cause I wonder whether I am reading him right?

Hoping someone may help?

Sharron

[debo620]

could you post your whole routine?
Is your son getting 8hrs of night sleep?

[angelboys]

Hi Sharron

Your story sounds just like my son - I will be interested to hear what Deborah has to say.

My son is now 4.5 months and cries and fights his nap times.  I do the shh/pat and also have to pu/pd when he gets out of control with the crying (just to try and calm him down) and when I put him down he just gets worse.  It can take me up to 1hr to get him to sleep - the less he sleeps the more tired he becomes and the whole day is a mess.  The other problem I have is he always wakes once or twice during the nap and can't get himself back to sleep and I have to go in and shh/pat or pu.

His routine is:

E:  7/7.15am
A:  7.30/7.45am
S:  9am  (for about 1.5 hrs) (well, I put him down at 8.30am because it takes a good 30mins or more before he sleeps.  He is tired at this point and has a terrible time trying to get him self to sleep).  I have on occasion resorted to rocking because both he and I would be so stressed it's the only way I can ensure he gets some sleep).

E:  11am
A:  11.30am
S:  12/12.30pm  (Again it's a huge struggle to get him to sleep)

E:  3pm
A:  3.30pm
S:  4.30/5pm  (a short nap - another crying match sometimes he cries through the sleep and I have to keep him up still the night time routine starts)

E:  6.15pm
A:  Bath (6.30/6.45pm)
S:  7/7.15pm  (the great part is he sleeps very well through the night waking between 6-7am next morning).  On the odd occasion he will get up at 5am and I will give him a dummie and he will moan a little and go back to sleep half an our later.

Help - as my days are a total nightmare - not sure what to do! 

Toni 

[croft]

Hi Toni,

Same here! I have to PU and rock him too, so I can get him off to sleep. As you can see I have to go in and help him along on some occasions I have kept him in my arms, mostly during the afternoon, so I can get him asleep to feed!

Here is is routine...

5:45 Woke and lay awake in cot until 6:15

E  6:15 BF and topped up on bottle
A  until 7:15 then wind down
S  7:15-7:25 time taken to go to fall sleep nap (slept 25mins woke 10mins, slept 1 hour =1 hour, 25 min)

E  9:15 bottle
A  until 10:15
S  10:15-10:30 time taken to go to fall sleep nap (slept 30mins woke 15mins, slept 30min =1 hour)

E  11:45 bottle
A  until 12:30
S  12:30-1:15 time taken to go to fall sleep nap (slept 55 mins) woke with pain tried to get back to sleep

E  2:30 bottle
A  until 3:30
S  3:30-3:50 time taken to go to fall sleep nap (slept 30 mins) then on and off for 55 mins

E  5:15 bottle
A  until 6:30
S  6:30-6:50 time taken to try to get to fall sleep wouldn't (no nap)

A  7:00 start bedtime routine, bath, massage, pj's,
E  7:45 bottle
S  8:10 bed

E  3:30am woke BF for 15 mins  - right back to sleep.

My days are a nightmare too..can't get anything done!

Sharron

[debo620]

Sharron, I don't think I can be of much help but 2 suggestions:

maybe start the move towards a 4hour easy, your lo seems to be taking quite a few naps, maybe he would like to stay awake a little longer and take 2long naps and 1 catnap (similar to Toni's routine)

I would also suggest that if lo is consistently waking around 6am, his bedtime needs to be slightly earlier (maybe alseep by 7pm)----he may benefit from more night sleep. in so doing, you may have more luck in extending his activity times in the move to a 4hour easy.

[croft]

Toni,

Yesterday my mum came over for a day and we tried something new which seems to be better.

Once Daniel began to cry, I immediatley picked him up and calmed him the way Tracy mentions, on the shoulder and calmly sh him. I did this for 5 minutes and then tried putting him in his cot again. Again when he cried I immediatley picked him up and calmed him. The third time he just gave a little bottom lip and closed his eyes.

Usually I would keep him in the cot pat and shhh for a few minutes to try and stop the crying and I think he would just get too upset so by the time I picked him up even 2-3 minutes later he was too hard to calm down. So now I just don't let him cry and it seems to be better. It still takes me 20 mintes or so, but definatley less crying.

Hope this helps.
Sharron

[ashopaholicmom]

hi, i just wanted to share we were in the same boat.  my lo is 5mths now and still have a few rocky times.  i moved to the 4hr easy and put blackout liner sewn into the drapes in los room. then i introduced a teddy, similar to what is recommended to get rid of pacifier, and made it his bedtime buddy.  we made a showing of turning "off"  the house. we go around and turn off lights tv everything. we even tell the dog to go "night night" and watch him get in bed. then we close the blinds and pull the drapes. i then put him in bed with teddy(its actually a puppy, so cute)  and pat (he doesn't seem to like the shh)   i think he felt like he wasn't missing anything, and he will now stop crying immediately when i give him "ruff" (the puppy)  all of a sudden our EASY fell into place.  we are still having issues with the afternoon catnap, but we have dropped that the last two days and moved bedtI'me to 7pm instead of 7:30.  so far so good.   im no expert by any means, actually just a first time mom who didn't start bw until 4 month mark. but i cant believe where we are now compared to then!  every baby is different, i thought my story may give you a few ideas to play with if they match your parenting style or at the very least know your not alone  (this helps me so much)  anyway, good luck!

[Aiden'sMom]

Dear Sharron,

I was reading your post and my son is also the same age with reflux.  When he is having a really bad spell, he arches his back and screams the house down - his whole face goes purple he is in such pain.  Do you think the crying is maybe a factor of the reflux and not just sleep issues.  Do you have a raised bed and keep him up for 20 minutes after feeding? 

Hope this sorts itself out for you!

C

[angelboys]

Hi Sharron & C

I've spent the day in bed with a bad cold but took my son to the doc and he has reflux so I guess that explains all the crying when trying to nap.  Sharron, I will try the picking immediately and see how it goes.  Glad to hear there is less crying in your household - can't say the same for me.  Days just seem to be so stressful also he gets through the night well.

I'll keep you informed.  Must get back to bed.

Toni x

[croft]

Aiden'sMom - Thanks for your imput. Yes I do raise his bed, but the crying starts as soon as we start the process, I hardly get him in the cot. I guess the reflux doesn't help, but short of rocking him in my arms, I don't know what to do. Hope this new way helps. He is on a higher dose of Losec and seems to feed better now, so I thought perhaps he is better, but I guess he is still unsettled? How did you get your LO to sleep with Reflux?

Toni - Sorry to hear your LO has reflux..it really is hard. Please let me know how you go!

Sharron