Messing up! re 45 min napper

[blue2006]

Messing up!

Trying to get 5 ˝ month old back on EASY (we followed it for the first six weeks – I know it works!).

I’m messing up big time poor little guy is crying a lot more today! I have a 45 minute napper and I’m trying to extend A to extend naptime.

So far today…

E 5.50am
A 6.10 (meltdown at 7.40 – bf to calm)
S 7.45 (slept in own bed)
 - woke at around 8.30 – left wriggling and cooing in bed, before going up to try and resettle. Meltdown…

E 8.40 bf early for 15 mins – spat up afterwards (another reason I want to get back on EASY as I know I’m feeding him too often).
A 8.55 (10.15 wanted to go back to sleep – tried quiet distraction – meltdown –
E 10.30 (?) bf 5 mins (he tried to fall asleep – I chatted to wake him he came off happy).  More quiet play – trying to put some distance between bf and sleep).
S 11.15  (Had to shh and rock from 10.45am). Placed in own bed to sleep).
- woke crying 11.45 picked up rocked and shhed to resettle looked like he might fall asleep again but woke up.  Have put him back in bed and left him as he still looks very sleepy - will no doubt have to go back in again soon.  I know he can fall asleep on his own he has done it before!!! ....Nope - got him up.

E skipped
A 12.00
E 12.30 15 mins
A 12.45 (1.30 looking sleepy) - rubbing eyes yawning
S 1.45 sleep resettle at 2pm

Okay so this is getting embarrassing.    I’m sure my days aren’t normally this bad.  It’s the trying to resettle that seems to stuff things up…anyway here is the rest of my day.  I’ll add the nighttime as well.  I plan to DF at 10 – 11 (it worked well last night).

2.25pm up.  Tried to resettle while he remained in bed.  Wasn’t working picked him up.  Tried to resettle that way.  Not working he freaked on me and I (you guessed it…

E (?) bf him (Lay down with him in my bed in case he wanted to fall asleep).  I know!  It’s a common theme – but here’s the thing he seemed generally hungry this time.  After he feed we chatted a while and then he rolled over and tried commando clawing!  Hmmm.

A 3.00

4.30 bf and micro nap!

5.00 bedtime routine massage/ change / story /bf almost asleep remove.

6.15 Asleep

Any suggestions?  (I'm updating as I go today).

[Jazmyn]

It looks as if you could be using your breast as a prop to get him to sleep.  I am no expert here I am just pondering.

I have had to stay with my LO while he falls asleep and put my hand on him to help him go back to sleep after 45minutes.  He is only 3 months old though so probably a completely different case altogether.

I hope you get it sorted though. 

[blue2006]

I certainly have used it as a prop (is that what Tracy calls it?) (Long story won't go into the reasons why I got into the habit but I know it's my fault he needs it).  I read the Baby Whisperer when Liam was three days old but I only had it on loan.  I'm ordering my own copy shortly. 

I have been doing my best not to let him fall asleep on it these days.  I've even managed to read him to sleep, which was lovely.  He is out of sorts today so it has been harder to say no to him.  I'm not going to let him cry it out. 

Thanks for your reply I appreciate it.

[beaus mom]

Hey there!
Sounds like you need some help.  I have a 5.5 month old as well and have been strictly following bw for 3 weeks now with some amazing results. 
You really need to be on the 4 hour EASY at least.  You need to try and transition him to 4 hours.  I was lucky and did it cold turkey but if your lo won't go that long, you need to start working towards that.  The 4 hour EASY is as follows...
7am wake and feed
9am nap (1.5-2 hours)
11am feed
1pm nap (1.5-2hours)
3pm feed
5-6pm 1/2hr to 45min catnap
7pm feed
bath then bed by 7:30pm
dreamfeed between 10 and 11pm
Now having said this there are alot more variables.  Like my lo needed longer wake times to help sleep past the 45 minute mark for naps.  I do nap at 9:15 and 1:30 but I keep everything else the same.  You are also going to need to make sure that he is getting enough calories during the day to prevent night feedings.  I did cluster feeding in the beginning at 5 and 7pm and then the dreamfeed as well.  I also switched him back to the first side that he began eating on after to increase my milk so that he would take in more calories at each feed. 
The 45 minute naps will sort themselves out but you really need to stick to a strict schedule with eating and sleeping during the day. 
I'm here to help if you need anything.  Once you decide to stick with it you will see results VERY quickly...I promise.  Make sure that you write down everything so that you have something to compare it with to see even the smallest of improvements.   He is following your lead and will be out of sorts at first and wondering what is happening but as long as you are consistent and stick with it even through the roughest of times it will pay off and he will be so thankful.....and so will you!!
Good luck!

[blue2006]

Hi

My first post was day ones attempt at EASY. Can't believe I'm on day three already and yes it was easier today! 

lo can't cope with long wake times but his feeding has improved.  He still asked for it heaps from about 4ish today and I gave it to him on cue. 

He also managed to fall asleep on his own tonight which surprised me.

Could you tell me more about the cluster feeding. Since it's after bedtime are you dreamfeeding at those times as well as at 10 or 11? My book is due in a couple of weeks - wish I'd gone to the bookstore instead of ordering it off amazon.

Thanks for your help I'm also getting loads of help from the 45 minute nap thread

 

[beaus mom]

What are your feeding times now?  I forgot that you start your day alot earlier so yes the cluster feed would be at different times.  Instead of 4 hours between his last 2 feeds of the day you feed after 2 hours.  You are definately doing it when he is awake....the dreamfeed is the only one that you do once they have gone to bed.
Are you wanting to start your day that early?  My lo was also wanting to be up earlier, I thought, but once I stuck to p/u p/d for early wakings, I realized that he wasn't actually ready to be awake that early.  He wakes usually within 15 minutes of 7am now.  He always stirs between 4 and 6am.  Tracy says that this is a normal wake time for them and that once they learn to self soothe, they won't wake for as long or at all. 
Do you use a paci to soothe him?

[blue2006]

I looked over your schedule again I think I may have been half asleep before and I see now your cluster feeds are before bedtime! 

We have Liam waking at six and going down by 6pm but I'm thinking of working towards 7am-7.30pm instead.  From another book (Tracy may even say this too) I read that lo needed the same wake up every morning. Since he wasn't managing to stay up past 6pm without getting overtired and then wired and not going down till much later dh and I decided to bring his bedtime forward.  DH even changed his hours so he'd be around more hence the 6am wake up.  I think perhaps the 7am would be kinder for all of us!

I think he tried to self cluster feed last night from 4pm!  But it was every hour.  This kind of got in the way of the catnap. That's probably why he woke at 3ish again this morning cause he was overtired.  Freaky how being overtired makes them wake earlier!  Anyway I tried not to feed but it's very hard when you are exhausted and just want to go back to sleep anyway he has been up since then and has only just gone back to sleep! 7.10am! 

We tried giving him a paci but he'd have none of it.  On two or three occasions we've held it in his mouth for him to chomp on but we haven't done that for months.

I stuffed already today and the day has only just begin.  My DH will be home tonight he has been away since Tuesday so Perhaps I'll go back to sleep after feeding Liam tomorrow morning and let DH look after him since it'll be Saturday! yay!

[beaus mom]

I think that you are definately on the right track with changing his bedtime and wake time.  At least make sure that you try to stick with the same wake time within 15 minutes or so.  I would also try to increase his calories during the day at each feed so that you can go at least 3 hours between feeds.  Is your lo just 3 months or getting closer to 4 months?  The reason I'm asking is that it changes the time between feeds.  I'm thinking that you should probably start aiming for 3.5 hours because at 4 months you make the switch to 4 hour EASY.   As your daytime routine starts to sort itself out, your nights will fall into place.  I found that keeping to the daytime routine was much harder and took alot longer than the nights. 
The way that Tracy recommends to increase calories is to either pump one hour after last feed and then feed that to your lo after your next feed (usually only 1-2 oz) or to switch him back to both breasts after he has finished.  She said that the extra sucking motion always makes your  body produce a bit more milk.  This usually takes 3 days to increase your milk supply.  Once you know that your lo is getting enough during the day and at the df then you know when lo wakes that it is not from hunger....so much easier to exclude that variable. 
The naps have taken me 4 weeks of sitting in his room after he woke at 45 minutes until his next feed.  We are almost there but the odd afternoon nap, he won't settle, but I do p/u p/d for the rest of the nap until next bf.  My lo is 5.5 months so p/u p/d is what I had to use.  If shhh/pat works to settle your lo then you don't need p/u p/d.  Unfortunately naps are the hardest and take the most time to learn.  There are so many more variables so don't hesitate to keep posting your schedule as it changes.  Sometimes the smallest changes see the greatest results.  Example...someone suggested that I keep him awake for 15 extra min before his morning nap to stop him from waking after 45 min and it worked right away and I haven't had to deal with anymore short morning naps. 
Good luck today and I'm sending hugs as I think that you may need a few today,
Candus