I'm Desperate, 9mth old with reflux, no napping - exhauseted and upset

[niky257]

Hi.  I know I risk repeating what lots of others have had problems with, but I'm desperate and exhausted and constantly arguing with husband! 

I have a 9mth old who has had reflux since birth.  Now under control as much as possible.  He has never really napped well apart from on me and then for about 2hrs.  Now I am trying to get him to sleep in cot - he is so tired but just stays awake.  I put him in cot after he doses off on me, and instantly he is awake and crying.  I PU.PD and he is awake again and this goes on and on and on and then I pick him up, and like now, he is asleep on my bed.  Someone please help me get out of this rut!  It is affecting our nights now because he wakes and wants to come into our bed.  He sleeps like a baby in our bed but will not go back to sleep in his cot.  I can address the night issues later if I need to , what I am finding so hard is his lack of daytime naps.  Also, I am really worried that he will soon be too old to teach to nap.

Thanks

Niky

[macsmum]

hi there, is your ds cot on an incline? this helped with my ds who also had reflux but has since grown out of it.
i know how hard it is but u need to try to stop him falling asleep on u, even now if my ds falls asleep on his bottle he will wake on those nights?
what meds is your ds on?
i found pu/pd never worked for me, i did shush pat and still do if i need too, i would get on the floor by the cot so ds could still see me and even gave him his teddy to suck on.
Emma

[niky257]

Thanks for quick reply!  DS is on Ranitidine, Gaviscon and Domperidone.  I find that if I incline cot, he 'falls' down to the bottom - he sleeps on his tummy always.

I have tried shush pat too - I've tried everything!  The problem is getting him to stay in his cot for any length of time at all without crying or trying to climb out! 

He has just woken up now - and slept for about an hour on my bed - if that had been in his cot, if I had managed to get him to sleep at all, he would have been wide awake after 20mins.

Where do I start?  Do you think shush pat is the way to go?  Even at 9mths?

Thanks again

Niky

[macsmum]

the thing i found with my ds was that when the reflux was at its worse i just had to do what i could to get him to sleep he even went through a stage of sleeping in his swing
not sure wether shush pat or pu pd would work best for u i know they recommend pu pd for this age group but my ds was worse he was pushing me away so i opted for shush pat and it worked in the end remember we have to be consistent if something isnt working on say day 2 u have to stick at it it may take 10 days of consistently trying it till it works and your lo gets the message i know it is hard but u will reep the rewards when u get there.
it is so much more difficult when u throw reflux into the mix i guess u have to decide if u feel your lo is in pain when u a trying to use pu pd then u may have to admit defeat and try it later when u feel the reflux is under control for now do what u have to do to get your lo to sleep if that is in your bed then do it
is your lo really crying when put in cot not just mantra crying or fussing?
Emma

[niky257]

Hi again Emma

He just pops up wide awake and starts to cry really hard when he goes in his cot - I think he is so used to not being put in his cot.  I have tried getting in his cot with him ! - i think this may be worth a go again.
Can you just check my method for me for shush pat - I put him down whilst calm but awake, as soon as he cries, I pick him up, calm him, then as soon as he has stopped fussing, put him down again?

This could take some time!!
 

Thanks Emma
take care
Niky

[macsmum]

yes when doing pu/pd u put them down again the moment they stop crying even if they are crying again before u get them down, put fully down then re pick up(hope that makes sense) seems to me though that your lo has a sort of fear to the cot, definately worth trying getting in with him again a few times see if this helps, i would be tempted to just pick a day when u are feeling up to it and dont give in just keep trying the cot till he gets it if u give in and put him in your bed u will just be reinforcing the bad habit, do u have a musical toy u can put on for him, i have the fisher price peeka boo keyboard it has 3 settings, one where it plays random music for 10 mins i just put that on for him when its nap time as my lo can still get a little upset when he sees his cot and realises its nap time
if u keep going and dont give into him he has to go to sleep eventually!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once u get him in there once for a sleep the rest will com
Emma

[maggie2]

Niky - I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this with your lo!  I totally understand - ds also had reflux and was sleeping in his car seat for the first 9 months!  I then realized that he had to get out of the seat, so I had to use pu/pd to help him learn to sleep in a crib. 

Actually, with a baby at 9 mo, I think the pu part is too distracting - I only did pd (I basically stood there with him and almost held him down with my hand - no patting, no shooshing - again, too distracting for the older baby).  It took a long time (I was sometimes in his room with my hand on him for 45 minutes, waiting for him to begin to drift off), and you don't want your hand to become a prop either, though.  Just make sure that you begin to remove your hand as he starts to get sleepy.  Then when he fusses, put your hand back on him, remove it when he drifts off, put it back on when he fusses, etc.  The point is to calm him without picking him up at this point - when I was going through this, it was explained to me that I should use my voice as well (saying "it's alright, sleepy time") and eventually you will only need your voice to soothe him, but that didnt' really seem to work for me.

Also make sure that he has some fun play time in his crib (or cot!) during the day.  This will help him to feel comfortable there during nap time as well.

If you're really concerned about him sleeping lying down due to the reflux, you might want to consider a "reflux wedge", which is like a little sling that they sleep in in the crib.  We had one - once again, didn't work for ds, but you might want to give it a try if your lo is too uncomfortable to sleep lying down.  The one we used was called a "Tucker Sling" - I can get info on it if you're interested.  I would even mail you ours to try if your lo wasn't already 9 mo (the weight limit for the one we have is 16 lbs).  I found that there was no way to elevate the mattress, even only slightly, without my ds rolling down and being upside down! 

I will try to find the thread that I posted on during my "battle" as I like to call it - it might help a bit.

Hope this helps you a bit - hang in there!!!!!!

Maggie

[niky257]

Emma and Maggie - thanks so much for your time.  You have both given me the willpower to carry on.  Maggie, the sling sounds like something worth looking into as we had a hammock and he loved it, but when he started to roll over, I didn't like to put him in it as he couldn't get back. 

Thanks again both of you

Niky x 

[macsmum]

yes i believe the tucker sling has worked very well for those that heve used it.
it is just so hard to know when they are in pain isnt it?

good luck and keep up the great work your lo is very lucky
Emma