have I done the right thing?

[james030405]

Hi,
James is now 19mths old and we are constanlty troubled by early wakings (between 4:30-5am).  I have tried just about everything to get him to sleep later.

We have started this week only getting 9hrs night sleep from him and about 2-3hrs nap during the day.  I know this is no where near what they say is "recommended for this age".

Today he woke at 4:30am and didn't go down for a nap till 11:30am. He fell asleep in the car and usually i can just put him to bed, but today as he was so overtired he took another 20mins or so to calm down and go to sleep - so he didn't fall asleep till 12pm.  He then woke at 1:45pm and I tried to get him back to sleep (usually I have success at this) but today he just wouldn't go.  We then had a 30min tantrum.  We took him swimming, gave him dinner at 5pm and put him to bed at 6pm. His bedtime is usually between 7-7:30pm.

Have I done the right thing in putting him down so early or am I in for a 4am waking (ie 10hrs of night time sleep)?  We did go through a stage where he was sleep for 20-30mins around 9am and then he would go back down at 12:30pm for another 2hrs or so.  I have tried to stop this over the last couple of weeks as I read on this forum that this can perpetuate the early wakings.  So lately, I have been trying to get him to go to at least 11am preferably 11:30am and he sleeps 2-3hrs.  Should I go back to 2 naps or keep trying to stretch him out.  Our routine usually looks like this:

4:30-5am waking (doesn't usually want anything to eat/drink)
7am breakfast (I try not to give him any milk till now, but sometimes he does get a small glass early)
10am morning tea/lunch
11-11:30am nap
3pm snack
5pm bath
5:30pm dinner
7pm bed

He is able to go to sleep by himself and we very rarely have night wakings except for illness. 

I guess I am just needing some reassurance that I haven't put him to bed too early tonight.

Thanks for listening

Lisa

[Katet]

I rarely find either boy wakes early if they go to bed early after poor day sleep, infact at times it can be the opposite, if Liam goes to bed at 6.30 (if he wakes early & naps poorly) he often sleeps 12.5 hours but if he goes to bed at 7.30 he only does 11 hours, doesn't always hold true, but certainly if he does wake up at 5amish early for him it is often due to him having gone to bed closer to 8 not because he went to bed at 6.30 KWIM

[Florencia]

Hi Lisa!

I, as Kate have rarely found that an early bedtime would mess things after a difficult day, but the opposite. If you offer as many chances for sleep as you can you might find the winning button someday! As for the early morning, have you tried to extend the waking time with Wake to Sleep or other method to avoid overtiredness throughout the morning? you might want to give that a try and see if it works for you. Other than that, keep at the 1130 am ish naptime and hopefully we'll adjust soon. HTH!

[james030405]

Thanksfor the reply ladies.  He slept till 4:40am today.  Although it is his usual waking time, he did sleep from 6pm-4:40am (10.5hrs) which is an improvement.  This has me wondering if we should put him to bed at 6pm every night as this seems to be his limit at night.   We had no night wakings and i don't think he woke from hunger - he was happy to play till 5:30am when I gave him a drink of milk.

The only thing I havent' tried is W2S - not sure if this was going to work for someone of his age.  We are off to playgroup today so he should be asleep by 11:30am today - not sure if I should offer a nap around 9am or not.  This doesn't seem to effect his mornign waking time ie if he has a catnap or not. 

Oh well, I;ll keep trying.  Thanks once again

Lisa

[Colesmom]

Hi Lisa-just wanted to send you some (((HUGS))).  I am hoping for you that whatever you decide it works out okay.  I can't imagine how hard it must be to start your day that early day after day.

that little man of yours is certainly keeping you on your toes!

[Katet]

Lisa don't offer a nap, but give quiet time & a snack, a bigger one than normal if you normally offer one at that time as chances are by 11 ish he will be too tired to eat.

Due to cold & teething Liam has had messed up sleep including 5ish wakeups & he gets grumpy around 9.30/10 & by sitting down & reading stories, he seems to get through it ok & lasts untill 11 ish for a nap

[james030405]

Thanks ladies for your responses and hugs.  he has just gone down t 11:40am so hopefully he will sleep for 2-3hrs.  fingers crossed anyway.  I think I will just keep our routine as is as the baby is due in 10 weeks and this has been going on for months and months now with no change. 

thanks again

Lisa

[Mom2katiebug]

I'm a total novice and my DD is about 6months younger, but we've been having success with eliminating night waking and early wakings by using a later bedtime.  I know those can be signs of overtired, but in our case we were putting her to bed to early and she wouldn't be tired enough to sleep for a long time (but tired enough to fall asleep).  She'd wake many times overnight and start her day at 6am-ish.  Because she didn't sleep well, she was a total crank-pot and would want a nap by 9am and then another in the early afternoon (both were short usually) and then we'd put her to bed early cuz she hadn't napped well.  We didn't know what to do and I kept adjusting the bedtime earlier and earlier to compensate, but we didn't get results. 

We had family in town and DD was so intrigued that there was NO way she was going to bed at 6:30pm...she was staying up until almost 8pm!  We had fewer night wakings and later mornings.  She is also usually napping better during the day.  Hmmmm...so even though family is gone now, we're shooting for a later bedtime (sometimes have to bring the dog in to entertain her, sometimes we go for a walk around the yard or the house or anything that we think will keep those peepers open just a wee bit longer!) and we are having fewer night wakings.  We do still give DD a bottle around 5am-ish and that seems to tide her over til the 7am hour, but she's a picky and very light eater so I actually think she wants/needs that bottle.  We still have some wonky naps these days, but I do think we're in the midst of a 2-1 nap transition so that's normal.

Not sure what the average for a 19MO is, but read the other day that a 13MO averages 11 hours overnight and 2.25hrs during the day with 2 naps.  At 18MO, I think the numbers are similar but only 1 nap during the day.  Perhaps tackling that transition to 1 nap might get James a good rest during the day and able to last a bit longer for a later bedtime.  It improved things for us - it's not perfect mind you, but definitly an improvement.

Good luck!