in need of nap support!

[Mrs. A]

I have been struggling with DS's naps for a few weeks now.   He's never been a good napper but things seem to have gotten worse lately.  He's 5 months.   He never seems to be able to settle down for naps and lately I have been so frustrated that I've resorted to AP and have been feeding to sleep.     For awhile he was doing so well and he would go down for naps almost on his own.  I just had to stay in the room, out of sight, but shhing until he was starting to close his eyes.  He's always been a good night time sleeper and when he does wake in the night he almost always goes back to sleep on his own.  I usually don't even have to go in the room.  If he's hungry at night I can feed him, put him back down awake and walk out without any trouble. 

I've read in a few different posts that naps tend to sort themselves out around six months.  I'm really hoping that will happen because that thought is the only thing that's keeping me sane right now!  Even when he does nap it's never for longer than an hour (and even that is rare lately).  He was doing 1.5-2 hour naps for awhile.  How did this happen?   I can't think of anything that I changed.  I've tried to extend his A time little by little as he's gotten older.  At this point he's at about 1.5 hours of A time on a 4hour EASY.  I've tried a little longer, but he seems to get overtired then...

I'm so discouraged and frustrated and I feel like I just can't face each new day because I know what troubles it will bring.      Will it really get better? 

I really need some encouragement and support if someone can send a little my way...

[nursekat]

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

My dd also had short A times, but I just have to throw this out there - on a 4hr EASY you should be aiming for 2hr A times.  You might find your naps get sorted out if you work on that.  Try pushing just FIVE mins of A time every 3 days - take a few weeks to stretch them out.

You may not have changed anything, but your son certainly has!    Keep in mind they change all the time, just when you think you had it figured out, lol!  Try posting your routine (attempted and actual) and see if there's anything else we can't see might need some tweaking.

[Mrs. A]

I will try gradually extending his A time and see how that works.  Here is our routine:


Goal:                                                        Actual:
E:7am                                                       E:7am
A:7.15-9                                                   A:7.15-8.15 (he starts showing sleepy signs
                                                                      after about an hour in the morning)
S:9.15-11                                                  S:10 or 10.30-11
E:11                                                         E:11
A:11.15-1                                                 A:11.15-12.30 (then he looks tired again)
S:1.15-3                                                   S:2-2.45 (if he sleeps at all)
E:3                                                          E:3
A:3.15-5                                                   A:3-?
S:5.15-6                                                   S: doesn't happen
E:6.30                                                      E:6 or 6.30
S:7                                                          S:6.30 or 7


as you can see the actual routine is a mess as far as sleep goes.  Any suggestions? 

[nursekat]

Actually, now looking at your routine you actually prob are having overtired issues and need shorter A times rather than longer.  You mentioned in your first post that your A times are 1.5 hrs, but looking at your routines above, your goal A times are 2hrs 15mins (7am to 9:15, etc).  In your actual routine, you had him awake for 3hrs - way too long for this age!  At five months, I wouldn't go over 2 hrs A time max.  The first A time actually is often a shorter one, you can even go shorter than 2hrs if he is showing sleepy signs. 

Try to aim for this:
E: 7am
A: 7:15-8:45 (I'm assuming you do a wind-down 15mins?)
S: 9-11
E: 11
A: 11:15-12:45
S: 1-3
E: 3
A: 3:15-4:45
S: 5-5:30
A: 5:30-6:45
E: 6:45
S: 7 (or tweak the end here based on your normal bedtime routine)

Remember, if he wakes from a nap early, put him down early for the next nap, etc.  Look at each EAS as one independent block of time, based on when he woke, kwim?

[Mrs. A]

Thanks.  I'll see what I can do to change that.  I think it will help to look at each EAS as an independent block of time like you said. 

The reason he's up for three hours in the actual routine is because it takes me at least an hour, most of the time two hours, just to get him to fall asleep.  That's why I'd resorted to feeding him to sleep because I simply couldn't keep going with that.  It happens every time he goes to sleep.  Do you think my wind down is inadequate maybe?  Right now his wind down consists of a diaper change, closing the curtains and sitting for little bit before I lay him down.  If I sit too long though he starts to squirm and makes a fuss.  He screams bloody murder if I try to swaddle him so I don't even bother. 

*sigh* I try to keep reminding myself that it won't last forever, but it's just so hard to remember that when you're right in the thick of things, kwim?

[nursekat]

*sigh* I try to keep reminding myself that it won't last forever, but it's just so hard to remember that when you're right in the thick of things, kwim?

I know EXACTLY what you mean!  I feel like I already have forgotten the h*ll of the first two weeks home from the hospital! 

If he is taking so long to fall asleep, try going in and starting your wind-down earlier.  Is your LO spirited, textbook, what?  Sometimes wind-downs don't work for the spirited ones.  I would go into his room even earlier than you would think, and do some quiet playing on the floor or in his crib until he starts showing you some signs that he is tired and ready to lie down and take a nap.  It could be you are missing that window and that is why he is having so much trouble going down.

Give it a go for a couple of days and let us know how it goes!

[Mrs. A]

Ok, so today I aimed for the routine you suggested and it was actually a perfect day!  (well he didn't have the catnap and his bedtime was a little late due to the people who live above us making tons of noise and waking him up several times just as he was dropping off)  Haha.. so I guess it wasn't a perfect day but it definitely felt like one! 

I don't know how it happened.  I didn't do anything different except try putting him to bed a little earlier than I had been and the change was incredible!  I can't believe it.  He went to sleep completely independently each time.  I hope that tomorrow is just as good! 

I'm so thrilled but I really don't get it.  Can it seriously be as simple as putting him down a few minutes earlier than before?     If that's all it is I wish I had known this a long time ago.   

[binxyboo]

YAY!

I always found it better to put Riley down before he was tired, much easier all round.

[nursekat]

Good job!  Congrats on your near-perfect day!     

[Mrs. A]

Well, after my nearly perfect day, yesterday just fell apart again.  I didn't feel too upset about it though because I think I know where I went wrong.  I kept him up a little too long in the morning and he was overtired for the rest of the day.    Disappointing, but still after such a great day before that I wasn't totally discouraged like I had been before. 

Today isn't too bad.  Not quite on target but he's still napping so that's what counts.  I have a new question though.  Do you think it's ok for him to have his catnap in the morning and then the two regular naps after?  We haven't exactly done that but I was curious because this morning he only had a short nap and now he's in the middle of a longer one so it seems like the day is shaping itself that way.  Just wondering if that's ok or if I should try to avoid it.  Let me know what you think...   

[nursekat]

Well, honestly, the ultimate goal is to find what works best for you and your LO.  If that is the best thing and all seems great, go with it. 

As far as BW "theory" goes, you're better off keeping the catnap last.  It is mearly the means to get your LO from his last nap of the day until bedtime, which is why it is brief and considered a "freebie" (can sleep in swing, arms, etc.).  Daytime naps are meant to be restorative, which is why it is recommended to make them longer.

How's that for a wishy-washy answer?