13 month old still waking at night....

[Tatumsmom]

Tatum is now 13 months old and is still waking at night. She is on a good routine eats well and naps well during the day. She is in bed by 6:45 and goes to sleep right away. The problem is that she is still waking at night. Usually she wakes anytime between 2:00am and 5:00 am. When she wakes I don't rush in and only go in when she is full blown crying. I have tried wi/wo and pu/pd but she is very spirited and just becomes hystarical. The only way she will go back to sleep is if I give her a bottle. She takes 8oz and then goes back to sleep right away. I have tried offering only water but then she wakes a 1/2 to an hour later still looking for milk. I have done the water down method which did not work. I think that she is hungry, but I think it is because she is used to getting a bottle. She had been making progress, but not anymore.
The question is what do I do now??? One night she was up for three hours because I refused to feed her. I did everything possible to get her back to sleep but nothing worked. I'm lost!!!!  I have to get up at six to go to work so most nights I don't have the energy to fight with her. I'm starting to wonder how long this is going to last .I'm soooo tired.
Kim

[caro558]

Hi Kim
I can't help, but my daughter is 11 months and you have just described exactly the same problem that I have, I really hope someone replies with some advice for us.
I'm exhausted, but I feel determined to break this habit.
Caroline

[macsmum]

my ds is the same was sleeping through from 6 months to 9 months then all hell broke out, i was advised to shorten the am nap to 30 mins and the pm nap 1.5 hrs it has definately helped.
my ds always needs a bottle if he wakes i am at present getting 4 good nights a week where he will sleep from 7 till about 6am when i feed and put him back down till 7.30 , what i have started to do is give him loads of solids till the point he screams for no more and he definately sleeps better on the nights when he has been at home all day so i have probably fed him more than they do at nursery, i have asked themn to up his food at nursery and started sending extra snacks for him, but he is a very big boy weighing in at 30 lbs just like his daddy
can't really add anymore but if i ever get him back to always sleeping through i will let u know how i did it

Emma

[mari]

OK.  This was the exact same thing that brought me to this board in the first place.  Alex would go to sleep but wake during the night and I would end up giving her bottles of milk to settle her.  Something had to stop.  So I did walk in Walk out and it worked, but eventually. 

Tatumsmum, when you say that you tried PUPD and WIWO, what happened exactly and how long did you try it for.
These things won't improve overnight, it can take up to 2 weeks.  But really, if you keep giving milk, that is what they will wake for.

So firstly,  would say to everyone here, ensure that naps are ok, I would suggest either a short nap in the morning and a good afternoon nap or (if switched ok to 1 nap) a good afternoon nap, waking around 3pm and going to bed no later than 7-7.30pm.  Also ensure that there is no other problem, ie teething, colds etc.  Check that they are  not hungry (I always offer a snack just before bedtime routine, just in case, then I would advise for a toddler WIWO.
Don't be alarmed if this method lasts for 1-2 hours when you first do it, it is tiring, so get an early night and resign yourself to the fact that you will be up and for quite a while, your baby will fight it and try as hard as possible for a bottle of milk, and if you give in then it will be even longer when you try it again and it will confuse your lo. So please keep at it, and give it at least 2 weeks before you give up on it.
I hope this helps.

[Tatumsmom]

Hi,
Thanks for the replies as I am nearing the end of my rope.

Caroline~ sorry to hear you are in the same boat ! It  really sucks.

Emma~ I hadn't seen you on the night waking boards for a while and I was hoping things had gotten better for you. I hope we all can get this sorted out as I'm really starting to feel like a failure.

Mari~ When I have tried all the methods in the past Tatum just gets hysterical. I mean full fledge screaming. I only tried wi/wo for a couple nights the problem was she got to the point that even when I came back she would not stop crying. The same as pu/pd she would just keep screaming. I don't think pu/pd is going to work as she is to heavy and my poor back can't take it. She screamed one night for 3+ hours. I tried everything to calm her and nothing worked. I hate to say this but I'm a wimp and hearing her cry really upsets me.
I guess my question is how long do I let it go on for I mean if she is still screaming after 3 hours........I seriously can't handle it. My DH is away(and will be for a long time) and we don't have family around so it's just me. If I'm up all night with her and then have to work all day I just can't do it.
She is in day care full time and is doing great she naps well (we are just in the process of going to one nap) and eats well. Her caregiver is wonderful and does everything I want.
She is teething right now all four of her molars which I think might be bothering her.
I was thinking about changing her routine a little and instead of giving her a bottle at 6:45 before bed I would skip that bottle and do a bottle at 10 kinda like a dream feed. So that way if she wakes at 3 I would be more confidante that she wasn't hungry  and be able to stick it out a little. I always worry she is hungry because when she wakes she finishes 8 oz in seconds.
I guess I'm just starting to really doubt myself...
Thanks for the advice I will give it a shot.
Kim

[caro558]

Hello Everyone!

Mari - Millie is now doing one very short nap 30 minutes in the morning and one longer nap from 1pm-3pm. She seems to be teething all the time, but they don't seem to bother her that much.
I have started going to bed at 9pm and have told myself I will be up for at least an hour during the night!
Millie is drinking around 18oz of formula during the day, plus 3 good meals and 2 snacks. I know this is definitely habit! She only weighs 16lb because she was so premature, but she really won't eat any more during the day ( as another matter, she's also decided she won't be fed from a spoon, so now everything has to be finger food)

Can someone explain how to do walk in/ walk out please, as i've never done it.
I really hope between us we can get this cracked! 
Thank you for everyones ongoing advice.
Caroline

[mari]

Here is the info on Walk In Walk out.  There are other ways to teach independent sleep and you can find the techniques on the FAQ on this board.

Walk out/walk in -

Do your bedtime routine, lay your child in his crib and walk out of the room. When he cries, count to 5/10/15 seconds (timing dependent on your child and his cues), walk in, lay him down and comfort him briefly and walk out again regardless of whether or not he is still crying. Repeat as necessary. If he stops crying during your count, do not go into the room. If he starts crying again, start your count over again. If your child is going through separation anxiety, this method may not be your best choice.

Please do not start teaching independent sleep when your child is ill. Wait until your child is feeling better before starting any method.

I hope this helps, it worked for me, it was hard, My husband works away and it was just me, I was shattered, and I run a home daycare, the last thing I wanted was another load of kids with nap problems, but hey, that's life!   Get an early night, be prepared to be awake for a while and for a few nights, but above all, be consistent, trying lots of things for a couple of nights will just confuse your lo.

Good luck.

[caro558]

Hi
I just had a really bad night!
She woke at 3.30am and screamed until 5.30am. I tried everything but give her a bottle, nothing would calm her for more than 60 seconds. In the end I warmed up 7oz of water and put 1 scoop of formula in, she drank this and went to sleep for 45 minutes then woke again, she resettled herself then slept again for another hour, by this time it was 7.30am so i gave her a proper bottle, she then went back to sleep and is still asleep (it's 9.40am!) I'm going to get her up now.
I'm really not sure what's going on, I thought it was separation anxiety, but she really cried even when i was holding her.
I gave her some Calpol after about 30 minutes of screaming, I tried her with some water, I gently rocked her, I tried patting her back.
I truly hope this was a one-off!
I'll let you know.
Caroline